When we talk about relationships, there are certain archetypes that continuously come about. One of these is "The One That Got Away."
The way that we reference this person is usually with both fondness and regret. We simultaneously care about them and wish we had known then what we know now.
They are the focus of memories that both make our hearts nostalgic and ache with unmet expectation.For me, this person was my best friend.
We started talking when we were 12 years old and got to know each other over IM for the next few years. He was always intimidated by the idea of speaking to me (or any girl) in person, but our online chats contrasted greatly with our face-to-face communication; his honesty and sincerity astounded me. When we got to high school, he became more forward.
We spent hours every night talking on the phone, and would spend time together outside of school. My girl friends were judgmental of him at first, but when they came to realize how much he meant to me and how good of a friend he was, they became more trusting of him.
Throughout all of those years that our friendship progressed, I began to have genuine romantic feelings for him. I waited and hoped that he'd guess my feelings, and I became impatient. What was taking him so long? Eventually, someone else began to pursue me, and I gave in to this new person.
I didn't know that my best friend had been waiting for the right moment to ask me out.
I didn't know that he'd told all of the same girl friends who had judged him so harshly in the past that he thought I was amazing, beautiful, and charming. I didn't know that giving in to the new guy in town would lead to a long, destructive, and abusive relationship.
I alienated that best friend of mine with my stubbornness. He moved on, overcame his shyness, and forgot about me. I miss him all the time, and wish I'd gotten the courage to tell him that I've loved him every day since I was 12 years old, sending instant messages through a dial-up connection so I could get to know him better.
There is no moral to this story. Not really.
But if you have a One That Got Away, remember this: somewhere, someone is thinking about you and wishing you hadn't gotten away from them.
Who is the one who got away for you?
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Comments (24)
I wrote about this forever ago. It's here, and it was also on Datingish. I call him E. in my blogs. He will always be the one that got away, but right now, I'm kind of okay with that. We haven't talked in quite a while.
We're both still young - there is time. I'm still hoping that things will work themselves out and I'll be with the one who got away - though I would need to change his title, ha.
I got the one that almost got away..and couldn't be any happier =)
I'm with my one who go away...hopefully he doesnt get away again :)
this reminds me of hot tub time machine.
the one that got awaygreat white buffalo
lmfao
the one that got away?! That sucks, we were together for 4 years or so, she cheated on me, because she said I wasn't committed to her, I thought about it, went out bought a ring, proposed, she said no told me that she was still seeing the guy, I dumped on her, she is now about a week from marrying the guy that she cheated on me with...fml.
And yet over all those years she was the best thing to ever happen to me, wouldn't have changed anything and would have done it all over again...
No one ever got away that I really regretted. It was always me who loved more, cared more and worked harder in the relationships.. but just before my bf and I got together, he did something that made me so angry that I almost didn't get together with him because of it, but I forgave him in the end when he showed me he was sincerely sorry.. so in some way, either one of us almost got away, but didn't ;]
That's exactly why I tell people how I feel about them even when I know it probably will never be reciprocated. I try not to let opportunities slip through my hands without even trying.
Still, there have been two that got away, and I love them both. I'm fighting for the most recent one, but he can't make up his mind about what path he wants to follow in life, let alone make a commitment. The first knows how I feel about her, at least, but she's off pursuing her dreams.
They all get away.
Who wouldn't?
My "one that got away" was an ex from back in high school.
Cause most lifelong relationships start in high school, right?/sarcasm
But he was very important to me, and I wish it had worked out, but in the end, it was probably for the best. Still, I think of him every once in a while...both fondly and not so XD
I consider someone to be The One That Got Away, but that doesn't mean he was The One.
Still, I'd love to tap it.
Well Im friends with "The one who is about to go away and ill never see him in person again. ONly if he has internet and he makes time in his new life to get on webcam and talks to be. But even then he'll have to fontunue with his life and ill have to be in mine" guy.lol. He is gonna move back to his hometown after being in my town for a year. I should have started talking to eachother a long time ago but I didnt. When I got his number it was a 5 week countdown to him leaving. Now it is about 3 weeks. I almost regret starting to talk to him because he is pretty awesome. He has a baby face. Whenever I see him he makes me smile for no damn reason. I sit at the mall watching him work and we text. Oh well... if I could live past "Sean" I could live past him.
I am back with "The one who put a metal ring on my finger and said he wanted to get married but then he had doubts and issues within himself and was afraid that I wouldnt except him even though I told him I always will. We broke up and he was also on a doomsday countdown to leaving for some sort of training opportunity to a career which will surely make him successful but of course I am stuck here because I have more years in college left and a kid. Then he was going to move out of his place and stuff but now its the end of the summer and we have fought twice to make him not want to talk anymore. Somewhere down the line he wants me back and God has given us one more year" guy. LOLOLOL
My life is complicated.... F my life!
I usually end up as the one who got away...guys seem to never learn and expect me to go back to them. Silly males.
I dunno right now seems to me that my last serious relation was the one who got away. I dunno if it's got away or pushed away though. And also dunno if that will still remain true after I get into and out of my next serious relation.
hmmmm.....Well that a hard one for me, but I think would either be my
Ex-fiance Lindsay or my very last ex Jessy. Here are they're stories:
Lindsay: We were together a year, lived together, made dinner, went to
IKEA...the whole 9 yards. Then we found out she was pregnant half an
hour before she lost the baby. I had burst her tube and couldn't be
saved. She carried around the guilt from this for 5 more months before
she ended things. All because I was a constant reminder of what she lost, or "ruined" as she put it in a parting letter I received 10 months after the break-up when I was at my most low and depressed point. I will always lament at the thought of her sorrow and lost we shared....
Jessy: We dated 6 months, and also lived together, cooked together, confided in eachother the darkest parts of our souls, ect. She was with me when I got my first tattoo...and she was always good about bring out my fun side. She treated my son the way I always hoped he would be treated by my girlfriend/lady-in-waiting/wife material. But, beneath all She had a lot of unchecked issues going wayyyy back to her childhood and peaking at their most hideous point in her teen years. She told me things and shared simple pleasures with me that only stood to make what we had all the more meaningful. She was my counter-point. Problem is she ran from herself and her feeling most of all. Emotions scared her to death. She hides behind a wall, and behind it is lost little girl crying her eyes out and trying to understand why her life has been so hard. I tried so hard to listen and help her, but she stopped talking. Eventually, she decided I wasn't worth the fight. I was easier to run than to deal with it all, and to really trust me, and to maybe become stable upon something. I will admit I did get frustrated, but I never once said she wasn't worth it. As counter-intuitive as it is, I regret I couldn't save her.
I don't have the one that got away because each new guy that I'm with is better than the previous one, so I don't miss the past.
I also wrote about this...http://sammysosa76.xanga.com/719200500/the-one-i-let-get-away/... Enjoy!!
I've got my one that almost got away, and I'm his one that almost got away.
I've had one of those, timing was just never right. Now we've lost touch completely and I still wonder "what could have been," while i'm in a serious relationship with someone new (and so is he). I think the only reason he was ever that special though was because I barely knew him, except for his paper description, which all seemed perfect at the time. I'd never give up my relationship with my boyfriend for him now, especially since I seriously doubt it would've worked out anyways, but I still can't help but wonder sometimes...
good god that was cheesy
i have one similar but i don't really know if it even qualifies because before he let me go, i was already thinking about letting him go but he beat me to the punch.
Ahhh... Yeah my bestfriend too. He was sweet, kind, charming, tall, and handsome. I loved him. We both met at age 13.
Harold. I'll never be able to forget him. To me he was my first love. We were able to relate and speak with each other. But we were both too shy to speak to each other about our feelings. I'd wanted to tell him once on his birthday when he turned 14, but he didn't show up that day, so my present and my thoughts went undelivered... I couldn't find another moment to say it and give him my gift. I make jewelry, so I'd made him a bracelet. Days went by and I didn't see him. The days naturally turned into weeks. Then a month. I had felt like I'd lost my best friend, every day hoping I would see him in class. Everyday entering the class and scanning the seat next to me to see if he was there, waiting to see if he'd walk through those doors, maybe late. It makes me sad to think about how he got away. I started to move on since nothing between us but friendship had blossomed. I had met new people, and one had caught my eye. I got involved with that person and there was a moment in which our relationship had some trouble and it was at the verge of ending. Tun-tun-tun my bestfriend popped back into my life. One day unexpectedly he showed up to class, I didn't even know what to say.. I was so happy to see him though.
We started hanging out and were happy together again, as bestfriends. Catching up and we just couldn't be parted. To people we looked like a couple, even though I was technically together with the other guy. Lets call him Guy. Well Guy was going through some of his own things and mostly stayed away from me, and stopped talking to me, so we eventually drifted apart and broke up. But still me and Harold were to shy to mention anything to each other. He changed schools in order to catch up. We kept in touch through phone. Then it stopped.
Two years later we found each other through online networks. We started seeing each other a few months later. He kept making flirty and daring comments to me online, but only online. My bestfriend who lived with him new I liked him. Eventually his flirty comments got me and I had to tell him. He was shocked and also was angry that I hadn't told him earlier like 4 years back. At this point we were adults in college. But as I went away for college things changed and he had business to try and take care of. We neglected each other and grew apart... I was hurt because of it. We stopped talking for months and finally one day I heard he was asking about me when I was in town. We started talking but he didn't want to pick up where we left... He had made me believe that what he wanted was time alone, yet the time alone had made him frustrated.... He didn't have me, his bestfriend to lean on, and it had been tough on him.... I really wish I could have done things differently....
Things didn't turn out as well for our end though. I desperately kept trying to fix things... He would still flirt with me, but one night things didn't go to well...and it basically ended from there. We both took a step over each others borders.. and basically disrespected each other... On my part it hurt me. On his part it scared him, he blamed himself. Thats when he started treating me differently. He treated me in a cruel manner... I know he still loved me, and that he blamed himself for everything... but our relationship just couldn't be fixed without time... but we didn't have that... A few months later he got someone pregnant... and so... that was the end for us.
Yeah. He was my best guy friend. It's kind of like your story, but vice versa... he left me behind. Such is life :)
thankfully. i don't have that person
i have dated people that i wished i didn't write them off as soon as i did because i thought that person and i are incompatible. now that im a bit older and realized i went for all the wrong guys when i was younger. i wish i got to know these people better. thats pretty much it.In fact, the one who got away was part of the biggest mistake I've made in life so far.