You know how your boyfriend/crush always responds to your texts,
except when you really, really need him to? You: Hey, you know, I really liked meeting you. I was wondering if, maybe, we could go out sometime?
Him: (Simply doesn’t respond. For like two hours.)
You: Hey, I want to talk to you about something really important in person later. Well, I guess I can let you know now: I have [insert really repulsive STD here].
Him: (Says absolutely nothing)
Granted, I made hypothetical you an idiot who a) would ask someone out via text message (I totally remember doing that…) and b) would reveal to some sexual partner that you’ve just infected him via the oh-so-personal method of texting. But let’s pretend that these messages are totally normal.
You’ve sent them out, and you’ve been freaking out about them the whole time. You check your phone every two seconds to see if he’s written back. You try and distract yourself by watching bad MTV reality shows online, and he still hasn’t written back. You try and try not to bother him, but you can’t help but wonder: is he ignoring me?
So you commit the worst sin known to man—the horrible mistake that all your girlfriends warn you against: you write the impatient text.You: Hey, I’m sorry if that was inappropriate… (which, luckily, is a response that applies to both my ridiculous fictional texts).
I’ll admit that in my life I’ve written a couple of impatient texts. As much as I try to will my fingers not to bother him, sometimes it just seems impossible. But a couple of days ago, one of my friends went on the most passionate rant of his life about this very subject when his girlfriend sent him the fifth impatient text that day.
With his permission, I present you with these kernels of man-knowledge:
If you decide to send an impatient text, one of two things will occur. 1)
He had one of a billion legitimate reasons why he did not or could not respond (the most likely option), such as: a doctor’s appointment, he was on a long drive, having a long conversation, busy at work, his phone died, he left his phone somewhere that wasn't RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, there was a death in the family, he was eating dinner and didn't want to be rude, he was doing ANYTHING with anyone else, he was having invasive surgery, he was having sex, he was somewhere without service, there was a hardware malfunction and the message was never received in the first place... to name a few.
2)
He actually was ignoring you (VERY unlikely). If option one is the case, then you sound inconsiderate--like the fact that the other person having anything going on that they couldn't immediately stop to text you back was totally unreasonable. Or, if he’s ignoring you, then he just becomes more annoyed and is even LESS likely to respond in the future. Both situations are equally as detrimental to your goal of getting a legitimate response to your original inquiry.
And THAT is why sending an impatient message of any kind is never ever ever EVER in anyone's best interest. When in doubt, just call.
So there you have it, ladies, straight from a dude: sometimes we just need to chill out.
Do any of you have problems stopping yourself from committing this apparently very serious error?
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Comments (35)
I am too old to to do stuff like that. If my primary means of conversing with someone is texting then I don't take the relationship very seriously. I might feel differently if I grew up in different times.
I only impatient text if we're in the middle of a conversation and he just stops talking. That's unreasonable, I tell you what.
I had the opposite situation.....the guy I use to see would ignore texts and phone calls from me a lot, but if I didn't answer my phone when he called or respond to a text right away, then he was either calling me or texting soon after to ask me what was wrong and if I was upset with him.....I remember one night, I was mad at him and he called and I didn't answer, so about 20 minutes later, he called my house (I had left and went to see my cousin), he called my cell phone 2 more times (so that would be 4 phone calls in about a 2 hour timeframe).....
i hate when people send you the same text multiple times because you didn't immediately reply.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - now thats harsh, sometimes primary means of texting is the only means because of long distance relationships. do you discount Skype as well?
But I agree, the impatient text only makes things so much worse! Yet, we all commit the act at some point.
Sometimes I'll send a second text, but it's not so much impatient as "I'm cool that you didn't respond yet, you're probably busy, no problem, but I'm still bored so... or I just thought of something else and don't see the point in waiting to add it to what i said earlier." Only time I might send a socalled impatient text is if I'm pretty sure the other person got distracted from replying - not necessarily doing something to keep them from texting, or ignoring it, but doing what I do all the time- simply forgetting to reply.
Way I see it, I don't want anyone else to expect me to be at THEIR beck and all all the time. If they want to leave a few texts for me to respond to, no problem, so long as no one gets pissy if I don't write back right away. In turn, if someone can't respond right then, that's their right. If I text a second time, it's not impatient, just a second text.
I know my boyfriend doesn't respond very fast at all to texts, so I don't even bother sending impatient texts.
I was really bad about it in high school but now that I'm older and more mature, I do my best not too. It actually works most of the time too.
Sigh, I needed this post so much.. I just had this problem with my bf a few days ago, we were supposed to see each other the other day after not seeing each other for weeks (I was on vacation for a week and the entire time he was studying exams) but he met up with me like 3 hours later than we had agreed to and he didn't reply the texts I sent him, which were 3 in total of the day, it's not like a text per minute, probably 1 text an hour-two hours, and obviously I called a few times too. I just got really frustrated 'cause I missed him a lot and it wasn't just any regular day so I was wondering if he was standing me up or ignoring me on purpose 'cause he has chosen not to reply my texts on purpose before. Apparently he left his phone at home and just took too much time in doing something else, which was why he was so late. So I guess I do have to chill out >x<
I think its okay, if it's like two.
I get worried about my boyfriend because his anti depressants sometimes aren't doing good and he does a 180 to depression, and he's tried to kill himself 4 times, literally.
So, I get worried, and he has ADHD and sometimes it requires spamming for him to look at his phone if he's playing WOW or something. >.<
I lost my sanity texting
so I rarely text anymore.
My ex would text me something, and if I wouldn't respond right away, he'd send the same text again like a minute or two later. Then he would send it again another minute or two later. There would be times when I am eating dinner or watching a movie, and I'd go to check my phone, and I'd have like 3 texts from him that are all the same exact text, and then the 4th one would say, "did you get my text??" SO annoying.
I have done it before in the past, and sometimes it feels as though I want to do it when my boyfriend and I are going through a hard time, and are in different cities (which happens when I have to go home for extended periods of time). But over all, I think it's rather ridiculous and no one likes to be bombarded with text messages. It's just rather annoying. I've had many people do it to me... including my boyfriend.
oh my gosh i used 2 be SO bad at this! infact once this guy told me uhm i gotta let u know now ( cuz we had a rule about if somethings buggin give a heads up) that i REALLY dont like my pocket vibrating so much at work! it gets annoying! but yea so that was the end of my multi texts b4 one reponds! lol
@ConfusionwithaK11@xanga - I think they mean texting shouldn't be the primary means because it's so impersonal. With Skype you hear them, and see their face; with a phone you hear them at least.
Texting is notorious for being just about the worst way to tell someone something- like ask them out or say "I love you" (or "I have an STD! haha). Most of the time the best way to talk is out loud. :)
I agree. I mean, we both know that the CIA didn't interfere into our phones and stopped your message from sending, so CHILL I GOT IT. I also hate when people say "Lol." and then....I don't respond, and then they send "??" LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I SAY TO THAT?
i text u answer! end of story! jk.. lol dont care really haha :P
I'm pretty patient when it comes to getting a response in a text message. I don't expect him to answer right away, usually I'd get it some few hours later or by the end of the day if he doesn't have time to look back on his phone soon. My text message only consists of plan-making and agreements to a plan of our next rendezvous. Our responses to each other are usually about 4-5 messages per a specific subject.After we're done with making our plans through the 4th or 5th message being sent, then it's done. :)
I prefer to have a full conversation to the next day of meeting up with him in person. :3
If people would just be upfront about things, there would be no need for impatient texts. But the dating world is currently full of cowards.
wow. at times i do feel impatient. this totally just slapped me in the face.
I do it all of the time. Without fail. Sometimes I can stop myself. Usually. But then there's always that one time where I send the impatient text....
I thought this post was about sending multiple text messages or "text bombing" your S.O. I've never dropped a serious piece of information through text, but I'm guilty of getting impatient (especially since we're long distance for the moment) and sending him anywhere between 2-5 texts within the half hour. But so is he, so its all good I guess? haha.
i hate when i don't answer people's texts right away, so they follow up with things like "hello?" or "are you sleeping? wake up!". it's not like i can hear you, it just annoys me when i get excited that i have three new texts and then two of them are pointless.
I must admit that I have been known to commit this very sin. Lately, I have tried busying myself by talking to someone else instead of fighting my fingers. lol
Eh. I do this every so often. Luckily no one's been too bothered by it :D