You know how your boyfriend/crush always responds to your texts, except when you really, really need him to?
You: Hey, you know, I really liked meeting you. I was wondering if, maybe, we could go out sometime?
Him: (Simply doesn’t respond. For like two hours.)
You: Hey, I want to talk to you about something really important in person later. Well, I guess I can let you know now: I have [insert really repulsive STD here].
Him: (Says absolutely nothing)
Granted, I made hypothetical you an idiot who a) would ask someone out via text message (I totally remember doing that…) and b) would reveal to some sexual partner that you’ve just infected him via the oh-so-personal method of texting. But let’s pretend that these messages are totally normal.
You’ve sent them out, and you’ve been freaking out about them the whole time. You check your phone every two seconds to see if he’s written back. You try and distract yourself by watching bad MTV reality shows online, and he still hasn’t written back. You try and try not to bother him, but you can’t help but wonder: is he ignoring me? So you commit the worst sin known to man—the horrible mistake that all your girlfriends warn you against: you write the impatient text.
You: Hey, I’m sorry if that was inappropriate… (which, luckily, is a response that applies to both my ridiculous fictional texts).
I’ll admit that in my life I’ve written a couple of impatient texts. As much as I try to will my fingers not to bother him, sometimes it just seems impossible. But a couple of days ago, one of my friends went on the most passionate rant of his life about this very subject when his girlfriend sent him the fifth impatient text that day.
With his permission, I present you with these kernels of man-knowledge:If you decide to send an impatient text, one of two things will occur.
1) He had one of a billion legitimate reasons why he did not or could not respond (the most likely option)
, such as: a doctor’s appointment, he was on a long drive, having a long conversation, busy at work, his phone died, he left his phone somewhere that wasn't RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, there was a death in the family, he was eating dinner and didn't want to be rude, he was doing ANYTHING with anyone else, he was having invasive surgery, he was having sex, he was somewhere without service, there was a hardware malfunction and the message was never received in the first place... to name a few.
2) He actually was ignoring you (VERY unlikely).
If option one is the case, then you sound inconsiderate--like the fact that the other person having anything going on that they couldn't immediately stop to text you back was totally unreasonable. Or, if he’s ignoring you, then he just becomes more annoyed and is even LESS likely to respond in the future. Both situations are equally as detrimental to your goal of getting a legitimate response to your original inquiry.
And THAT is why sending an impatient message of any kind is never ever ever EVER in anyone's best interest. When in doubt, just call.So there you have it, ladies, straight from a dude:
sometimes we just need to chill out.Do any of you have problems stopping yourself from committing this apparently very serious error?