Tuesday, 17 August 2010

• Ask A Guy: Answered

  Ask A Guy is a little late, but it's back! Read what our awesome guys of the week had to say about what they would do if they were a girl, guys who say you are their "main" lady, and if the chase is ever over. Want to nominate yourself of another guy? Message me!  

  Jeff is 20 and heading back to University this weekend. He is also ecstatic to see his girlfriend for the first time  in four months….

  Jacob (Xanga’s own tavatava) is 19, single, and a week away from escaping his hometown once again. He likes driving at night, writing, and writing about driving at night.

  Greg is 20 and taken. He is looking forward to going back to school, but will miss his friends and long distance lady especially. This weekend he went hiking and enjoyed acting like a caveman.

  Yaseen is 21, in a relationship, and really focused and determined but knows how to kick back and enjoy a fun night out with his girl.

   

   oro_nicolflow@xanga: Do guys feel weird when a girl asks them out? What is the best way to ask out a guy?

  Jeff: I have never been asked out by a girl. However I don’t find it weird. I think that guys are generally pretty happy when a girl is interested in talking to them, let a lone dating them. I would recommend to just be straight about it, no muss, no fuss, just ask when the time feels right, and in a serious tone, so he doesn’t think you’re just pulling his leg.

  Greg: No, it wouldn’t be weird, that would just take the pressure of me doing it off.  If she does it, than I KNOW she likes me and wants to go out. The guessing and second guessing can get pretty nerve racking.

  Yaseen: Not really, it’s the 21st century after all. Anyone, guy or girl, when asking someone out should not do it falling head over heels for the person. Many guys are oblivious to flirting signs so if you wish to ask, just do it. Casually, be sweet, be yourself. Just don’t be desperate.

   

  materialactress@xanga: People always say that men are very clear with what they want and that if a man doesn't say straight out, "I want you" then you should move on. However, if a man hooks up with a bunch of girls but still calls one girl in particular and kisses her good night even after just hanging out and watching TV, what exactly does he want? Is this girl just like the "main,” or is he looking for more and too afraid to say anything?

  Jeff: I think that if this man in question is indeed sleeping around, but consistently goes back to one lady…. I feel like as long as he’s getting the benefits from a “relationship” while having the liberty of being single, he’s not going to give that up until something changes. So, if you by chance happen to be the “main” and want a mutually exclusive relationship, then you should raise protest to the guy, and not put out any further.  But if your cool with sharing him, then by all means.

  Jacob: You can count on the fact that the guy holds her in higher regard than his hookups (unless he’s the same way with all of them too). But, there are always extenuating circumstances. Never assume that you’re special, because guys – like all humans – are capable of limitless deception, and can be pretty cunning when they’re after something.

  Greg: I think if this is a real person and not just a hypothetical, he is a tremendously large bag of douches. I think he is very clear with his message even though he may not be saying it outright. He obviously thinks he can sleep around with anyone without any consequences and that whoever his “main” is deserving of being played and being treated not very well. He probably thinks he’s getting away with it. This type of guy is unworthy of a nice girl to call and kiss goodnight.

  Yaseen: Sounds to me like that kind of guy is just a player. He could just be calling this one girl every night to keep her hooked. Perhaps my perception is too biased but I have seen many of my female friends find guys like this and it’s always a mess. If you believe he is not a player: he is just as low because that is the type of guy that really doesn’t know what he wants. He may be a good guy underneath but messing around with other girls knowing you are a monogamous relationship person speaks volumes of immaturity and selfishness. If he really wants you he needs to prove he’s worth it, and you need to believe that about yourself, you are worth more than this.

   

  thecatinthecradle@xanga: If you were a girl for a day what would you do?

  Jeff: I would probably… familiarize myself with my body 

  Jacob: I’d go clubbing. Probably at gay clubs, because I still would most likely not be attracted to guys. I would spend at least five minutes (no more, no less) looking at myself naked in the mirror beforehand. Sorry, but wouldn’t you too?

  Greg: I have my own pair of breast. What do you think I would do?

  Yaseen: I remember one of my old friends as a freshman in high school told me, when asked this, that he’d have lesbian sex like crazy.  I’m tempted to say I’d do the same, haha. That or use the other various female superpowers.

   

  EricaMissAmerica@lovelyish: Why Do you like girls who are aggressive in the bedroom or would you rather take the lead?

  Jeff: I personally enjoy a girl who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it. But I also like to be in control, so I think it everyone should get a turn? And if you can’t decide… just go for it, and see who ends up on top.

  Jacob: Girls who are aggressive in the bedroom are the hottest, and I really can’t wait to meet one. (Sigh.)

  Greg:  It really depends on the day. Sometimes I like to get down to business and show her what I’m made of, and other times I feel like sitting back, taking in the view, and letting her go to town on me.

  Yaseen: An aggressive girl in the bedroom is a huge turn on for me. Not because I like to be dominated, but because I believe sex should be fun. Almost like a fight, like in the music video for that Shakira song, Did It Again. In the end I prefer to take the lead but not before breaking a sweat.

   

  vonnegutessen@xanga: Have done anything crazy for a girl or vice versa?

  Jeff:  Not really anything crazy, I mean… I’m a fairly calm, cool, and calculated individual, so I tend to stray way from crazy things.

  Greg: For just about two years I’ve been driving thousands of miles to maintain a long distance relationship between northern Pennsylvania and North Carolina, then DC and northern North Carolina.

  Yaseen: I have a reputation among my friends to be “blinded by love” more easily than others. After my first relationship I gradually kicked it up a knotch, the second girl I would travel 2 to 3 hours via metro to see her once a week for just 1 hour. The third girl I saved up $700 for down payment for an apartment for her. My current girlfriend I have travelled to another city several times to see her, committed my life to marrying her and told my parents about her (she happens to be equally as committed… as she is the one.)

   
  

  hotteayummy@xanga Should "the chase" continue throughout the relationship, or end at a certain point? Should you never be 100% readily available? 

  Jeff:  One of the reasons why relationships end is because all the heat fizzles out. If I understand you correctly, the “chase” you’re referring too is the flirting and the cat and mouse games played before the relationship. If this is the case, then I think if you want to keep it fresh and exciting, then it should… until your married because then your both screwed anyway…. Just kidding. But in a serious relationship, you should always be  100% readily available, 90% of the time.

  Jacob: I think that if the chase stops, the fun stops. I don’t want someone who is 100% readily available, and I’m never 100% readily available in relationships. The show must go on!

  Greg: Most of the fun of dating is the chase, so if that stops than the relationship will get kind of boring. I think that as relationship progress   what you are “chasing” changes and evolves, but I think if you let the chase end, the relationship wont last very much longer after that. There’s always something to look forward to. I think if you have that kind of mindset, segmented small “goals,” then you should be golden.

  Yaseen: Absolutely! Both partners need to keep up the efforts of wooing one another. I know eventually it gets to be routine but that’s where surprise gifts and trips and public displays of affection come in. Just because you have your girlfriend (boyfriend) doesn’t mean you should stop romanticism. If you go into “the chase” with the mindset that “you have only something to gain and once you do you’re set” then your relationship won’t last very long. “The chase” is all part of the fun for me. Making efforts to see a smile on my girl’s face as well as being surprised by all the little things she does for me just to take the stresses from life away are where I find my victory. Expect more to give and receive, I believe everyone should do this

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