Saturday, 14 August 2010
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Cheat Confession: Searching Elsewhere For That Big "O"
Have you ever visited Cheat Confession? It's a site where people who have cheated/ been cheated on go to come clean or ask for advice. And they want help from our opinionated and helpful Datingish readers.
Regretful said:
"My boyfriend has never been able to give me an orgasm through oral sex. I've told my best friend, who has told her SO. One night her fiance and I were driving to pick her up. In the car he told me it would be the biggest challenge for him, if he could give me an orgasm. I was shocked, and immediately said no. But he persuaded me, and I said yes. He was only down there for 5 minutes before i made him stop. I feel terrible. I cheated on my boyfriend, and my best friend.
I have no reason why, but I regret it so much. I wish I could just go back to it, and stop it from happening.
Can you give me some advice?"
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About the Author
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- From: CheatConfession@xanga
- About Me: An anonymous forum/blog where people can post, comment, & share stories about cheating, being cheated on, or thinking about cheating while others comment. Staff Blog called, Topic Of The Day, where the staff writers talk about taboo topics in relationships. Users can read and comment on the blog.
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Comments (43)
Oh snaaapppps.
... it's oral sex. Not everybody is an expert. You should have coached and practised before straying.
Embrace your nature and go into the pornography field.
why would your best friend tell her fiance that you had problems getting an orgasm via oral sex
some people can't keep anything private. I think you know what to do; be honest about what happened and let your boyfriend and best friend know about her s.o. because they deserve better.
that's crazy (boyfriend not being able to get you off). ever since the first time I received oral, it's harder for me to have an orgasm during intercourse. I always, always have one during oral. this may sound heartless but forget about what you tried with the other guy. just put it in the past and stop feeling guilty. it's nbd.
5 minutes? that's a long fucking time.
Eek :/
Game plan, dear.
Do not keep this to yourself. If he finds out years from now/on accident, this incident is going to get exponentially bigger to him, you, and your relationship. Trust me.First: You get your man some lessons. Link some articles, etc etc. If you did it just because of lack of orgasm, you need to remove that from the table so cheating won't happen again.
Second: You do need to tell him. Tell him every detail, when, where, with who. Tell him why. Tell him how sorry you are. Over and over again. He may get mad. Do it some more. Answer all his questions and don't skimp.
Third: Keep on supporting him. This is probably a big deal to him. He needs to know that you're not going to do this again, and it'll take a while to build his trust back. Truth, truth, truth, and don't give up. Do not minimize his pain and anger, he deserves it. If you need any more help, feel free to message me.
Why is it so important to achieve orgasm through oral?
Coming (ha ha ha) clean may be a good idea. At least to your friend. Really, she is going to marry a bastard who doesn't think it's a big deal to just go down on her friends. Not a good guy. If they were just dating I wouldn't think it would be a big deal. But, she's planning on committing her life to someone who is going to hurt her terribly.
Get a new boyfriend or tell the one you have now about it. Explain to him what's lacking...he may try even harder. Probly not, he'll probly be really pissed. If he breaks up with you, then you at least get the chance to find someone who can give you an oral o, since apparently it's a big enough deal for you to cheat.
@aznbunny604@xanga - Orgasming from oral gives a different sensation that one acheived through intercourse. They're both great, but they're different. I actually think the oral (clitoral) orgasm is more intense, but that might just be me.
Ok- wow, wow. But I don't blame the girl. Why did he keep asking for it. No means NO. She should have slapped him and walk away, call her SO to pick her up.
you need to tell your best friend not to marry the guy.
that whole story ... is effing WEIRD.
If that was my girlfriend, and she told me this, she'd be dumped right there on the spot. No questions asked. I would walk away without looking back, and never speak to her again. I'd never want to be with a girl who got not only cheat on me, but on her best friend as well, and holy shit, at the same damn time. I mean you have to have to have some major ho skills to pull that off.
@darkblinds@xanga - You don't blame her? Why not? She cheated. He cheated. They both cheated.
@Kazydai@mancouch - oh true, thanks for calling me out on that one! I guess as a girl I am slightly bias. Seriously, what was wrong with him trying to persuade her to do it? But, you're right, they are both responsible for their actions.
Well, I think that you didn't take the time to actually talk to your partner about your sex life. Maybe guiding him a little bit and openly telling him things that you like, then it might have been better for you to work out that way.
But now, I hope he never does it for you again, because you've lost that privilege. That's absolutely absurd that someone would go to those lengths to get an orgasm through oral sex. Just cherish the fact that you can have orgasms at all.
Oral sex in a 93' taurus station wagon on a direct route for the trailer park. Lovely, wheres Jerry when we need him... My advice would be for you to take a tour of the grand canyon, while falling. You regret it becuase you still have a small sense of right and wrong some where within.
Cut ties with current bf, cut ties with current best friend and hope she doesn't marry the guy who ate you out? Move on and hope the next bf can satisfy you enough to not let you cheat no matter how long it lasts. That's my advice anyway.
@JusticeCho@xanga - Yeah, I agree. Really, neither of you deserve your best friend and she has every right to know. You should definitely tell her. It'd be disgusting (even moreso) to hide this from her and think she can trust you two.
Will. Power. Why is that so hard?
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - Agreed, wholeheartedly.
You're disgusting, you cheated, there's no excuse for this.
I will never condone cheating, but sometimes, I can at least see real reasoning behind it. This is not one of those times.
You need to tell your best friend. She may never talk to you again (frankly, you probably deserve that), but you'll be saving her a lot of trouble. You owe her that much.
I suggest telling your SO as well, because he will find out, considering everyone involved knows each other. It'll be better to hear it from you than from someone else, because then he'll hear the truth and not some mangled rumor and he'll feel slightly (and I do mean slightly) less betrayed.
Tell everyone what happened, or atleast your SO. Or else the foundation of your relationship will be on lies, which isn't good.
You made a bad choice, now you have to deal with it like a grown up.