Friday, 13 August 2010

• The Most Important Thing In Life Is Love (But Not the Kind Of Love You Think)

  
  To many people, the most important thing in life is love.

  People want to have families, a real romance, a best friend they can share everything with. 

  And I think it's probably true that love really is the most important thing in life, the one thing that you can count on and what will make you happy. But I don't mean love for someone else-- I think you have to love yourself. 

  Think about it. How can you ask someone else to love you when you don't even like yourself? Your insecurities will always be lurking in the back of your mind, and worries that you don't deserve love will give you a negative or depressive outlook. 

  I realize that sometimes the love given by someone else can be the catalyst for you discovering that you are worth something, or for you to realize that someone could love all the weird things about you, so I'm not saying relationship love isn't important. Having a relationship provides me with all the gross love action I need and my man provides the support and encouragement I need when I'm feeling down. But if I hated myself, I think it would be too easy to sabotage all the good I have going. 

  It's hard to constantly tell your SO, "hey, you are great, I really do love you, you are worth it, you are beautiful, I'm happy with you, etc." Exhausting, even. And does it get to the point where you start to wonder, why great are they? If they don't think they are worth it, are they?

  But if you love yourself, you won't have to depend on others for happiness. You won't need to be in a relationship or for others to be interested in you all the time. You will be comfortable in your skin. 

  And sure, having a great career will make you happy. Having a tight group of friends can make life busy wonderful. Having money will allow you to do anything you want. Traveling and learning can open your mind and make you think. 

  But loving yourself-- the good and the bad-- is the most dependable thing there is.

  You can't cheat on yourself, or stand yourself up. You can't say the wrong thing to yourself or forget your birthday. You can't get in a petty fight and avoid resolving it because you feel like idiot. You can't break up with yourself or decide that tying the knot just isn't going to happen.

  But you CAN always forgive yourself for acting like a jackass, for saying something you shouldn't have, or passing up an opportunity. I mean, are you really going to hold a grudge against yourself? Not so much. 

  So take yourself out to dinner or buy yourself a cake. Spend a night getting to know who you really are and think about all your good qualities. Realize that you have something to offer professionally, personally, intellectually. And you just might figure our that you are kind of cool and totally worth the time of day.

  And that's pretty awesome.

  Anyone else agree with me? What do you think the most important thing in life is?

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