Wednesday, 11 August 2010
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Why We Men Translate Being Single To Wanting Sex
There was this one post on Datingish that asked something like, "why is it that when men hear that one doesn't want a relationship, they translate it to sex?" I, too, didn't get it until the very first time I said it.Me and my then-girlfriend mutually broke up because we were looking to take a break from doing relationships. She has been hurt a few times, and I had some growing up to do. My plan was to spend the minutes between this relationship and the next doing whatever I got to do. Whether its make music, go to a concert, hang out with some newfound friends, just live my life before I invade another. But there is one thing that I can't deny happens in the middle of this sabbatical: I get horny. Frequently, I want to have sex with someone, masturbate, translate it through art, either way, my dick does not get the fact that we are suposed to be on a break from anything love or perhaps sex-related.
Not all men have that will some women have to hold sex till one is ready for a relationship. Believe me, women. We would have simply loved a chance to just hanging out with buds, go swimming in a pool, or teach a class for all we care. Sounds like a real good vacation to me. Much to our chagrin, our penis just isn't going to get it like your vagina does. oIt doesn't really work that way with us. Not some of us anyway.
That break that women take, I presume, is used to recharge their batteries for another go at relationships. As they do it, they are a little more practical about who they want to date again and who they want to screw and when. For men, it's one way to prepare ourselve for monogamy. Lest we go into a relationship knowing we are not ready and knowing that there is probably someone else we want to screw in the meantime.
So, while we wait for that special dream girl to come along, we are still sexually active when it's over. I'm sure for most, that's how it will always be.
Guys, do you agree? Are there any ladies out there who feel the same?
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- From: mynameisblueskye@xanga
- Name: Blue Skye
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts
- About Me: What should I reveal? I'm African-American, my astro signs are Scorpio and Dragon, I'm left-handed, and pretty candid with my opinions and thoughts. I love music, fruitful conversation, and a bunch of other things. Though, if you sign on here expecting the ilk of everyone's blogs,...well, you'll be a bit disappointed. Everything I post is me going raw with my subjects. So, if you dare addme, fasten your seatbelts. It is going to be quite a ride. Anything else you want to know, talk to me on AIM or Yahoo. Take a look at my profile to find out what my AIM and Yahoo! names are. I also have a policy for adding people. I check your profile, read your blogs, and maybe look at your photos, and then add you. IF you have friends lock, please send me a profile or a sample of your blog to be added.
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Comments (31)
I'm not opposed to hooking up with people you aren't dating (or strangers...) but I'm definitely not a slave to my sex drive.
@Bee@lovelyish - Agreed with the second part.
I'm not slave to it, I'm still a person with a fully functional brain and my brain does control my actions. I never let my actions get out of place. I know better. I know better.
mm, so that's how it is..
This is bullshit.
@RaVnR@xanga - Two negative comments in a row today, and no explanation. Bad day today?
ok.. this was just kind of gross. yes, people get horny. they have sex. Some just can't do it without strings attached but fact is it's in our instincts to have sex. You didn't have to state that in such a crude manner..
Men, grab hold of your penis, and tell them straightforward, that they need a break once and a while.
Thanks.
female libido isn't all that different, my friend.
...Um, no. It's not that hard to hold the reins on your sex drive.
Dammit, people, "I'm a man" is not a valid excuse for anything sex-related! I don't care what the (blatantly wrong) common perception is, men are not somehow slaves to sex.
Gaaaaaaah!
I actually don't think this was a bad blog, and you're not the kid of person that repeated makes bad blogs, so I'll give you the credit of that. I would suggest porn and masturbation, and lots of it.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - Some men can do it, some can't. I guess men are not willing to go through the torture of waiting too long, which is why masturbation seems like a godsend, especially to me. If I am single, I don't just sleep around anytime my penis springs up. I either masturbate or try to ignore it, which can only benefit you for so long.
@Art_Is_War423@xanga - In my blogs, I'm pretty much the king of either crude or blunt on any topic. I knew this was not quite Datingish material, so I never really sent it here. If I did, I didn't expect it to go through without Datingish making those small changes, you know? Datingish popped up and say they recomended the post be on the frontpage. I guess they liked it, and (judging by plenty of sex related or focused posts upon here), you would do. OR at least would like to discuss.
Either way, it's here. (shrugs)
@dinguyen@xanga - This is only a theory based upon personal experience and hypothesis of how some men are utilising their time as single men. The one thing I am very sure of on that post is the part about preparing for them to get any bit of a rush out of their system, before they decide to be monogamous. I think that would be a helpful bit of advice to diminish cheating. Although, you can't promise it would actually work, since love has a tendency to surprise you like a jack-in-the-box before you know it.
Brutal honesty. I like it.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - And this differs from women how?
They aren't long-suffering saints that struggle nobly against their baser natures, you know.
I'm thinking this post might be an experiment to piss off as many people as possible. Let's count the groups that will be pissed off by this:
1. Women with a libido equal to that of the average man (there's more of them than you think)2. People who think sex should be "special"3. Men with self-proclaimed self-control4. Hardcore religious nuts (although all sex posts piss them off if you're not waiting for marriage)
I'm probably missing something, but you get the point. Not too shabby, my friend. Not too shabby at all.
Personally, I agree. Of course, whether a person is male or female shouldn't be part of this equation. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I don't have urges. Maybe I'm not good at controlling my urges, but maybe I don't care. I love sex. Period.
Just because you're between meals shouldn't mean you're not allowed to have a snack.
Gender is not an excuse. The end.
If there's anything I've learned from martial arts, it's that you can fully control your emotions and physical or mental desires. For example, you COULD be upset that your friend ditched you, you could call them to yell at them or mope around because you were looking forward to hanging out, but on the flip side, you can be completely happy about it, and find something else to do, because you are wasting your time being emotionally distraught.
However, in this day and age, people want what they want NOW, and if they don't get it, their whole day is "ruined". This is the problem with some guys and their high sex drive. They want immediate satisfaction, which is harmful to your mental state. Your body physically gets used to being satisfied as soon as the urge comes. The solution to having that constant urge is to not do anything about it, as there is always something that can stimulate you in another way. Go jogging, play a video game, print out some Sudoku puzzles and time yourself as you solve them.
Even as a woman, I have an extremely high sex drive, close to that of a man's-in fact, I'm the one who usually initiates sex with my SO-but I can control myself during periods (from days to weeks) where I cannot see him. I will be horny as fuck, but yes, I can control it.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - That's definitely what I am going to assume with a post like that.
@Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - I do what I can.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - ...I have no clue what that means.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - I mentioned earlier in the post that a girl asked "Why is it that men assume that just because we don't want a relationship, we want to have sex?" in HER post. What I was trying to do with this entry is give a possible answer to that.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Oh. So this is really a subset post that...doesn't really refer to all men, just the ones that do assume.
Except that it's phrased as applying to all men. And then seems to use gender as an excuse.
I appreciate a post like this, it's interesting and you're giving your perspective. Just make sure you state that this is your perspective and experience.
And some women are the same way, so don't think it's a man thing.
So are you saying guys who may date a virgin or a girl who isn't ready to give it up...can't control themselves and will cheat?
I don't necessarily translate being single into wanting sex. I translate being human into wanting sex. Granted, I get more sex when I'm in a relationship, but it doesn't mean that I want it any more or less when I'm not in one. Since I do want it though, I'm going to try and get it even if I'm not in a relationship.
@Lilyofdavalley84@xanga - It all depends on how readdy the woman is and how desperate the guy is to have sex. Some dudes (keyword: some) actually do cheat on the virgin women who ar more interested in saving it till a better and more desirable time.
And I never said it was a man thing, but I said men, since it was a girl asking the original question.