Wednesday, 11 August 2010

• Ask A Guy: Answered

  

  Ask A Guy is a little late, but it's back! Read what our awesome guys of the week had to say about the worst date they've ever been on, what undies they prefer, and how they deal with BFF's with don't like them! Want to nominate yourself of another guy? Message me!  

  Jeff, 20, in a relationship, and currently visiting Ottawa and today jumped off a 200 ft bridge. Nothing beats a BJ… a bungee jump.

  Yaseen is 21 and in a relationship. He’s a college student with a direction to go and a girl to get there with.

  Warren is still 22, still single and is predicting Bachelor Pad to be the sleaziest reality TV show yet. Sadly, there is a decent chance he will still end up watching it and/or tweeting about it. 

  Greg is 20, in a relationship, and is on a Beck kick. He also drove for 21 hours out of 48 so that his girlfriend could say goodbye in person to her friends that are going abroad—if that’s not love, what is?

   

  NymphianChick@xanga: What’s the worst date you ever went on?

  Yaseen: The worst date I went on wasn’t necessarily a date but could have been. I went to meet a friend at 3 am on a summer night and she had brought a friend whom she hoped to set me up with on a blind date. I was courteous and myself, timid and observant. She was ridiculously immature, mashing all the food we ordered after we finished eating, mixing it in the soda and ultimately trying to burn lettuce while thinking it hilarious. I was seriously wishing I slept.

  Warren: I was 16 and was in the middle of a summer romance with an older girl who I had been out with on a few dates.  We had a day of hiking & picnicking planned when she tells me that her parents are going to be out of the house and we should instead hang out at her place.  Seems great so far, right?  We start watching Cool Hand Luke, getting a little handsy in the first few minutes.  We move to her bedroom and things are going wonderfully.   She is topless and mounting me while I am only in boxer shorts.  As a horny 16 year old, things couldn’t have been going better on this date.  Out of nowhere, the door to her room swings open and I see her mom standing there, talking calmly.  I lay there and don’t say a word, frozen by fear.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, her mom is legally blind.  Her mom leaves the room and I then find out that she had no idea I was there.  It seems like this would have been a blessing, as an extremely awkward moment was avoided.  It’s tough to have a conversation with someone after their introduction is seeing you half-naked in the sack with their daughter.  Instead, it freaked me out to the point where I felt the need to go home immediately, ruining the “date” and ultimately our fling.   I wish I could blame this on youth, but I don’t know that I would have handled this any better knowing what I know now.

   

  absurd_glam@xanga: Sometimes, a guy finds himself in a situation where he has to choose between 2 girls to start a relationship with. I'm one of these 2 girls at the moment and while it's depressing, I've become really attached to him and I don't want to let him go. How can I make him choose me?

  Jeff: Well, I think that if you want to get his attention more, you should make a move to spend more time with him, just hanging out and doing fun things like cooking together, but be careful not to smother him, or come off as just someone he can use.

  Warren: To be honest, my first instinct is that I have to question a guy who is choosing between two girls, especially if you and the other girl are both aware of the situation.  He just might be a player.  I remember listening to Mikaila’s “So In Love With Two” in middle school and thinking it was rubbish to be really into two different people at once, and I still feel that way for the most part today.  While I have never really been in the position to choose between two girls, I have found myself battling with another guy over a girl.   I’m a competitive person and have fought for the affections of a female and found myself realizing in the end that the chase was better than the catch.  Not saying that’s you or your situation, I’m just saying be weary of the reasons you want this guy to pick you.  Having said that, my advice here would be to be yourself, even if you’re not sure how it affects your chances.  Trying to win him over in anyway other than being yourself (changing the way you dress, liking the things he likes, et al) is going to set a foundation of dishonesty.  IF indeed he does “pick you”, presenting yourself any different than you really are will only cause problems down the road. 

  Yaseen: I’ve been in this (the guy’s) position a few times. I believe in order for him to ultimately choose you depends on what kind of girl he is most attracted to. Speaking for myself, I’d be most attracted to the girl that wouldn’t wait on me hand and foot. If your guy is the same way, you’d be best off showing him you don’t need him to survive. That you’re happy and if he won’t choose you then it’s his loss. On the other hand he could have a totally different preference in the type of girl he likes, so pay attention to what he’s attracted to rather than what you think he wants.

  Greg: Good old fashioned muck raking, take the political route and slander your opponent. But seriously, just play up your commonalities and make your interest in him known (he might not know how much you actually like him), but you also have to make sure you don’t come on too strong.

   

  Vonnegutessen@xanga: What kind of undies do you think are the cutest or what would you like your girl to wear? Why?

  Jeff: I like lace booties they have kind of rise up on the butt a little, and usually come in lots of light colors that are cute.

  Yaseen: I absolutely love boy shorts. I think my preference is because I tend to like 1950s style clothes and etc but something about a girl in those can really drive me nuts. It’s extremely cute and feminine and accentuates the curve of a girl’s ass better.

  Warren: A girl wearing little boy undies is the hottest choice by far (see Cameron Diaz dancing in the beginning of the First Charlie’s Angels movie for a point of reference).  They are still sexy because they are form-fitting but a little classier than something letting both ass cheeks hang out.

  Greg: My girl friend has ones with the days of the week, which I love, even though she purposefully doesn’t wear them on the right day. And boy shorts.

   

  Reminisce: If you're girlfriend/SO has done some things in the past that she wasn't proud of, and you thought badly of her because of it, how would you handle that situation?

  Jeff: I feel like that situation would have to be addressed at some point, but I think that a good relationship is built on a foundation of trust and respect. So, if your SO has a problem with your past you should address it.

  Yaseen: I try to be fair and understanding of anyone in my life, especially my SO. I don’t like to judge her based on things particularly from her past. If this past included me however, I would be in a place to share an opinion. My SO and I try our best to communicate as often as possible about what troubles us. If such a situation occurred I would voice my concerns and if needed even tell her what I need to hear to be reassured mistakes won’t be repeated. And in the end smooth it over with a good dose of trust and love.

  Warren: This situation all depends on who she is now.  I’ve done things I’m not proud of in my past, and I would hope she could put those things behind her if she knew about them.  Seeing the Kevin Smith film Chasing Amy had a pretty significant impact on me in situations like this.   That movie reminded me of how getting hung up on each other’s pasts (especially past mistakes) can really ruin great relationships.  I would simply put it behind me/her/us and realize that what matters is now and not what happened before.  Forgive and forget.  We’re not in high school, it’s not anyone else’s business.

  Greg: The question is contradictory—I wouldn’t be with someone if I thought badly of them. That aside, however, as long as both recognize that the past is the past and she’s different now, it’s not a problem. My girl friend and I got off to a rough start because she was hung up over her ex when I started pursuing her. I wouldn't say she cheated on me because we weren't dating-- she made that clear-- she did hide from me that she was seeing her ex on and off. After she came clean we started dating and have been for almost two years. Because she told me the truth I was able to trust her, and I don't bring it up to try to hurt her if we are having an argument because I forgave her and the past is the past. When you are in love there is only the future.

   
  

  femmefatale12@xanga: I'm a female, 21 years old, and I'm talking to a guy that's 26 years old. I've always dated and hooked up with older guys. In a guy's point of view, how would you see the younger girl? Do you think they’re easier to control? They're cuter? They're more fun? More gullible?

  Jeff: I think in many cases, guys are attracted to younger girls because younger girls trend to be attracted to older guys and the girls are more adept to making more direct advances which makes it easier on the guys.  I think to a certain extent they can be more fun and cuter because they are younger. But once your like 40, and 36, there really isn’t as much of a difference as there is between a 22 and 18 year old- in terms of maturity and experience.

  Warren: Typically, you ladies are more mature than your male counterparts, so I don’t place that much stock in age in regards to how I view the opposite sex.  My best friend’s girl is barely 19 and I can see that he enjoys the control aspect of the relationship a lot, as many guys do. He’s been independent from his folks for 4 years and she still has the logic of a child, so I know he gets off a bit on being the head honcho.  I’ve seen many guys like that, others who like the younger ladies because they might not have been around the block as much.  How I see a younger girl depends on her maturity.  If she acts like an adult, I will see her as an equal.  If she is a few years younger and acts it, I will not be interested in her, but guys are all different on this matter

  Greg: Age ain’t nothin’ but a number. I don’t know, if anything I just think younger girls are less mature than older ones, who know what they want and aren’t interested in playing games.

   
  

  thecatinthecradle@xanga: Have you ever had to deal with a girls BFF who didn’t like you? How?

  Jeff: Yes, but over time she came to see that I was nice and really cared for her friend and didn’t do dumb shit like flirt with other girls. I think the best way to win over the difficult BFF is to just be yourself and treat your girl right.

  Yaseen: My current girlfriend (1yr+) has a best friend she met perhaps a month ago. The guy and I dislike each other very much; he is much younger than myself and a year or two younger than my SO and an international student. So initially he doesn’t understand boundaries or respecting relationships. I’ve had many conversations and arguments even about this situation with my SO but ultimately I had to accept that my girlfriend has the right to be friends with who she wishes and as long as he gets his act straight, I wouldn’t argue. It took some compromising which was long coming but once we set the record straight, things have been better. I still dislike the kid but am a bit more comfortable with his presence now, and he has been keeping distance himself.

  Warren: To my knowledge, I have never had a girl’s best friend who didn’t like me.  I grew up around women pretty much exclusively so I do okay at making friendships and striking up conversations with the opposite sex (though not as well with romances).  I’ve had breakups where I have remained friends with the ex’s close friends.  If I sensed that my girl’s BFF didn’t like me, I would do everything in my power to win her over or to avoid her at all costs.  She holds a lot of power on making or breaking our relationship.  If things go well, she could be my maid-of-honor…if things don’t, she could be that girl I have to fill out a report against for keying my car.

  Greg: I don't really have this problem because my girlfriend and I usually aren't together when we are hanging out with out friends, but I would do my best to win them over if they didn't like me. But if they aren’t having it in the end, fuck ‘em. It’s not like I’d ask my girlfriend to chose between the two of us, I would just avoid making it awkward for her. I would be civil, but if they really hated me, I would just avoid being around them.

   

   What do you think? How did they do?

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