Friday, 06 August 2010
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Help! Is This Guy Interested In Dating Me?
chocochip@lovelyish asked:
Datingish readers, one of your own needs your help!There's a guy I've only hung out with 2 times in person (first met at a concert through a mutual friend). But we have the best conversations and have a lot in common. Also the second time we hung out he had casually invited me to see a little concert with him. That night we had a late night snack at a drive thru, he told me not to worry about paying him back (so he treated).
The next time we 're planning to meet up he wanted to hang out to have tapioca place just to talk (and it seems he'd rather see me alone not with a group). My friends who I shared this with tell me it sounds like a cliche date, but really, i'm not sure if he sees me as a potential date because when I asked him if he's interested in dating any one recently, his response was really confusing to me.
What do you think?
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Comments (27)
The short answer is he is interested in something that requires you, but dating is probably the furthest thing from his mind.
I agree with the above.
it seems to me like he's interested in you. you should get his phone number. see what happens from there.
What about his response (to the question whether he's interested in dating anyone) was confusing? Generally it boils down to either "yes" or "no" ... maybe with a hidden 'catch' but that's beside the point.
I think he didn't want to seem cheap because a late night snack at a drive thru is like $5 and he treated but it doesn't really mean anything even if he paid because it was probably just out of courtesy. his definition of dating might be different than yours. I think he might see dating as officially calling you his gf and he wants to get to know you better before dating you. now you are just "hanging out" at concerts and tapioca places, nothing more until further notice
I have no clue.
I've been "talking" to this guy for about 4 months now.. and we hooked up (just watching movies, cuddling, and an occasional kiss here and there) a few times.. but it never goes further than that. he's response to it was he was "too busy" for a relationship.
so I'm moving on.
No one will really know. It's all about the vibe you get from him. I hope you dont end up like me though. I ended up with 2 summer fuck buddies. I mean, I dont mind it too much, because I like the action too, but somewhere deep inside, it kinda hurts!
Hey he might just be wanting to get to know you. So yes there defniitely is interest. Why else would someone ask you to hang out? Pretty clear to me.
I think these kind of things can't be questioned. If he likes you, he'll make sure you know. And vice versa. But that's just my opinion.
What did he say when you asked him about relationships? That probably would have been a good thing to include in this post so that we all would have a better kind of idea to what is going on.
I would just tell you to wait things out. Don't become obsessive with trying to figure out if he wants to date you or not, because if he does, the topic will come out sooner or later. Maybe right now he's just trying to figure you out and get to know you so that he can make a personal decision of whether he wants to date you or not.
It's not good to rush these kinds of things because if you try to get too many answers out of him he might get scared and push away from you.
After a little more hanging out, and knowing if you like him or not, maybe you should just tell him that you like him and see what he says. Tell him that you don't want it ruining the friendship but you would like to know.
The only thing we know for certain is that he is not interested in dating you at this moment, if he was, he'd have asked you on a real, clear, actual date.
"too busy" is shorthand for "I'm too busy to make the time for YOU"...That may sound harsh, but the reality is, if the right piece of a** sashayed by, he'd make the time.
may be he just wants to get to know you. if a guy likes you and wants to date you, he'll definitely pursue you.
@scoobygirlie@xanga - i totally agree.
yeah... without knowing his response to your question, it's hard to say. there's at least interest....
Sounds like the typical steps toward potentially dating, though not "dating" just yet. He does seem interested though, otherwise he wouldn't be specifically asking you to hang out. I say go with it and see what happens, but just don't expect anything to come out of it.
it so hard to assume with just that... give it some more time and see where it leads... with my personal experiences... I am clueless... Still can't tell the difference :(
Hmmm well its kinda obvious if he wants to spend time with you he's interested in you. The question is-interested in a casual date or a relationship?? Who knows-just see how it goes :)
I think you already know but are to afraid to accept it. You simply want validation for your theory.
Potentially, but it's really not enough to know for sure.
I think he's in the process of getting to know you better -and prolly when he sees that he wants to be more than just friends, then he'll make a move to let you know that he likes you! :) usually though I agree that a lot of times it can be quite confusing for us girls to differentiate whether or not this guy is serious to us because oftentimes they do a lot of casual flirting when they're getting to know us but if I guy realizes he really is into you, he'll definitely do something romantic like take you to a cozier place and express himself more of what he thinks and how he feels for you! somethin out of his way to give you the idea! :)
If I had to guess, just solely based on my own life experiences, it sounds like he is interested in you but probably trying to be careful and take it slow and just get to know you first before deciding whether or not he actually wants to date you.
i think it's too early to tell.
@scoobygirlie@xanga - in a perfect world, yeah. but i never would. i had that beaten out of me a LONG ass time ago.
to the OP, what i think is that you havent given nearly enough information to answer the question. for starters, are you interested in him? yeah yeah, good conversations and a lot in common, i've heard that before, but that's a premise. what conclusion is it leading to, "i dont want to ruin it by trying for something else", or "i cant wait to get married and start a family" or something in between?
what exactly did he tell you about dating? is it that you are interested and hope he is as well but he said that he isnt? that wouldnt be confusing it would just be what you dont want to hear. he could just be a genuinely friendly guy that sees you as someone who's worth spending time with.
bottom line: the first, and really ONLY thing you need to figure out is what you want. then once you do that, no matter what it is, you need to forget about it. file it in the back of your mind. there's no sense in wasting your time, energy and relational capital worrying about if he'll ask you out and ruin the friendship you have going, or hoping and waiting breathlessly that he will ask you out and being crushed and heartbroken everytime he mentions another female in casual conversation.
Well, he definitely is interested in something about you! So, that's a positive thing! I think it's sort of a 'play-it-by-it-goes' sort of a thing: mainly I mean, keep going out with him, and eventually you will figure out if the feelings are there or not.