Wednesday, 04 August 2010
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I Need to Feel The "Whoosh" Feeling Again
Palms sweat. Pupils dilate. Heart quickens. Breath stops. Either you're experiencing an unfortunate reaction to an unknown peanut allergy, or you just spotted your SO/crush/ex from across the room. And here comes the whoosh...Let's face it. We've all gotten that tingly feeling that comes over you when you see a fresh text from your new beau. But what happens when you don't have that feeling at all?
In my recent discussions with friends a couple knew exactly whatIi was talking about, and others had no idea what the "whoosh" feeling was about. The wonderful warm-cookies-meets-bubble-bath feeling could be explained by the sympathetic nervous system being triggered by an emotional or *ahem* visual stimuli, but there's no denying the mix of emotion or butterflies that you get when you see that special someone.
My current problem is that I CANNOT feel this anymore. I've been bouncing from so many meaningless hookups and "friendlationships" that I think I've trained myself to stop feeling anything.
My current thing may be turning into something more, and as much as I'd like to like the guy I can't get past the fact that i feel no whoosh. I really like his personality, but when I look at him I feel nothing. I also know that I tend to associate this feeling with guys of whom i've had a strong emotional attraction.
After discussing the elusive "whoosh" with one of my close friends, we decided that the strongest we've ever felt this feeling was with our first real boyfriends. They were the first "real" ones because they were the first ones that we had real feelings for, and the feeling was confirmed by the whoosh. We also realized that as we got older it got less frequent. Is it just because we know what we're looking for now, or because it gets weaker as we get older? Maybe our hormones aren't working overtime.
But right now I have a problem: lack-of-whoosh.
Is it ridiculous that I'm basing my feelings off of, well, a feeling? Have any of you experienced the "whoosh?" Is a good enough indication of genuine attraction?
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- From: Lexi215@xanga
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Comments (40)
I think I need that "whoosh" feeling to even start a relationship. The whoosh feeling just tell me that I do genuinely like the guy and I wouldn't mind starting a relationship with him (regardless if it was now or in the long run). It's just like, you're in a room full of people and you're eying one particular person because he just gives you the "whoosh" vibe.. and then you know, he's the one.. the one that you're attracted to.
/Edit
Adding on, my husband and I knew each other for thirteen years (we also dated once in our teen years). The "whoosh" feeling was on and off between us, but when we finally got together again, the whoosh feeling became more than a feeling. We've been married for a while now and I still do get that whoosh feeling from time to time.
Friendlationships. Elaborate?
I think the woosh is just an attraction, sexually. Looking back on it, I'd get the whoosh if my boyfriend would touch my hand and then all I could think about is...the dirtayy. But now that we've been together for a while, that woosh is no longer there. Which isn't bad, because it's turned into love. A much deeper and more satisfying feeling than any woosh I've ever had.
Although yesterday I saw this guy at Applebee's and we smiled at eachother and I got a MAJOR woosh and then I felt bad. But I know enough to know now that a woosh is just an attraction, it's not really emotional feelings.
i used to experience it when i was younger too... i see my crush across the room and i get a tingly feeling in my tummy and my face blushes red. but in all honesty i think we just grow up and mature. a relationship to me now means much more now than just having a cute boyfriend in high school for a few months. i wouldnt base a relationship, or the potential of one, off the initial "whoosh" feeling that you get when you first see that person, not anymore. take a chance to get to know that person. you never know what you might be passing up based on your first impression.
I think the woosh is essential to begin a relationship, because the woosh symbolizes attraction, and it seems like without it the potential relationship would be well, boring. I don't necessarily agree that it's purely sexual attraction, though, like someone said before me, because I get that feeling upon receiving a text from my SO too, and it doesn't leave me thinking dirty thoughts.
The woosh is essential to begin the relationship, but I also think it becomes unnecessary later on. Part of what makes the woosh is the excitement and the newness of everything. Like that first I love you. After hearing that hundreds more times, it isn't as exciting. It still affects you deeply, of course, but it's not a woosh effect. I think to keep a woosh in a relationship, you have to keep coming up with new and creative ways to let your SO know you love them.Great post, by the way, I love your style of writing.
I still get the woosh with my boyfriend. I love that feeling.
It's not as frequent as it was in the beginning of our relationship, but it's still there.
I can understand why you don't have the "whoosh." In the modern world of pseudo-dating, random hookups and the new norm of having to accept dating ambiguity, how are we supposed to let ourselves like someone enough to get the whoosh? The "thing" now is to be independent, play the field, not settle down, basically look out for #1. Not that that is a bad thing, but it leaves us unprepared for when something real actually comes along...
Glad I've found someone who gives me that feeling almost daily :)
Someday you will, too.
I can live without it despite how good it feels. I am satisfied with comfort. I'm not saying I don't feel it anymore but if it happens to disappear, eh, oh well.
The 'whoosh' feeling is critical. If I don't feel the 'whoosh', I won't put forward the effort.
I still get the whoosh with my boyfriend of 3 years. Don't settle for anything but the best of whooshes!
I have the same problem!
I've stopped with meaningless hook-ups and I try not to guard myself anymore.
I read in a Psychology magazine that the first time we fall in love is the most "special" because it's the first time that we fall in love without having our hearts broken. Maybe we start putting our guards up once we realize we like someone?
I agree. The 'whoosh' feeling is an essential for me.
@jeezshoua@xanga - Aww, that's a cute story.. I hope i get that lucky with the guy i am dating now =]
It must be different for everyone. I only get the 'woosh' when I'm really close to a hot guy or when I think about something smoldering. I so rarely feel it nowadays, I also think it has to do with hormone changes in my body, me getting older. I don't feel it with my bf anymore, but I know I love and am devoted to him. I was just thinking about how alive it use to make me feel. I desperately, desperately miss the 'woosh'.
But at least I can stop being paranoid that I'm breathing heavily outloud. You don't know you're doing it because you can't hear it yourself. I think it accompanies the 'woosh'. Anybody know what I'm talkin about?
Whoosh is a really really stupid word I'll say..
but yeah back to the point, it's more of a feeling that I get about someone like my bf that I don't get with other men. It's like the sexual attraction that I have for him but it's more than that I think? I think really it's best to compare it to being butterflies in the stomach. I think eventually it does go away....because you can't really base a relationship on that feeling. There are more complex and bigger feelings out there. It's good to have that feeling about some guy..but you don't really really need it after awhile. My thoughts anyhow.
I know what you mean (there needs to be a different word to describe it though!). If I don't get those butterfly-like feelings with someone, then I have to question whether I like them or not.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I love getting that feeling!
I've never really gotten a whoosh feeling from any guy that I've dated, and I'm fine with that. I don't need the whole "Omg, I'm having a heart attack at the sight of my babe!" feeling (cause that's how I would describe that one time feeling). I just like the warmth of snuggles and the love I feel in the kisses.
I don't need whoosh as long as I have my honey. :) He's more of a mental whoosh xD
the whoosh feeling is definitely a good feeling. when i was with my ex jeff, i had that feeling in the very beginning when we met and it felt good but slowly it faded away and i started to see our relationship die a little each time. i have a friend who always has that whoosh feeling with her husband and i'm so jealous of it because even though they've been married over 10 years, they're still so in love and cant get enough of each other.
Where's the fun without the "whoosh"?!
I agree with you that the power of the "whoosh" weakens the older we become and the more relationships we have, but, for me, it is still very much there whenever I have a new crush. So even if our palms don't sweat as much and our heart doesn't beat as fast (heck, that's probably a good thing since our hearts aren't as young as they were, and a sensation as strong as that may cause a heart attack!)... the "whoosh" should never be underestimated and always cherished. Let's face it - it DOES feel pretty awesome. ;]
i experienced it not too long ago with my last relationship and i loved it. i felt it all the way through until the break up and if i see him again, i might even feel it. don't worry, i'm all about the feeling too.
I'm ass backwards.. I feel as though the "whoosh" for me is being "in love," which I believe takes time and isn't exactly just a feeling. It takes work, because I know there are people like you've said you all of a sudden don't feel a certain way anymore or believe they have fallen "out of love" with whomever. I've been with the same person forever and it was never whooshy when we started out, it was just awkward. I could have said, "Oh I really like him," and whatever else, but I wasn't just in love with him out of nowhere. When I got to know him and spent more time with him, THEN we felt comfortable and almost always feel the whoosh, every day. I can't remember a time when anyone else could look at me or just touch me, not even a certain way, and I literally shiver and get goosebumps.
I hope you find your every-day-forever-whoosh :)
my whoosh feelings aren't sexual but attained through naive romance due to cute things being said to each other and also if the guy is really cute
it is called puppy love because it is like when you see the guy, he reminds you of a cute puppy and when you see him, you go "awwwww"
Every guy I have met in the past year lacked "whoosh" and that's why I am still single. I refuse to settle for less.
Lukewarm "eh" isn't enough to keep me interested. And unfortunately, there has been way too much of that lately in my own life.So i completely understand where you're coming from and I think it's okay. It's like the Taylor Swift song "The Way I Loved You." Someone can be pretty close to perfect, but not right for you.
I don't really feel the "whoosh" with my boyfriend anymore, and that makes me sad because it's such a good feeling. I think it's a part of that honeymoon phase where everything in the relationship is still new and exciting. Some lucky people never lose that feeling, but it's generally normal for it to fade when you've been with somebody a while. At first you get sad and really begin to feel like you've lost something important in the relationship. This is the point where couples will either make it or break it. They'll either mistake the missing whoosh as a sign that the relationship is going downhill or they will realize that comfort is not a bad thing, and that something stronger is forming, stronger than the initial attraction.
When my boyfriend and I started to get comfortable, I was terribly bothered by it. I thought our relationship was changing for the worse. I realized after a while, that we had lost something beautiful (the whoosh). However, what I LATER realized is that it had been replaced by something so much more deep and beautiful. The whoosh of the initial attraction, was replaced by a deeper trust and caring. A higher level of comfort, committment, and companionship. We can finally be ourselves at our best and worst, and know that we'll still love everything about eachother. The whoosh is an awesome feeling, but so is the love you develop as the relationship continues to mature and grow. If you manage to do this AND keep the whoosh, you're very lucky. I still get it, but it's very far and few between.. usually when I'm reminiscing or he's being romantic (which isn't too frequent).