I'm 16, and will be 17 next March. I love the age I'm in right now and I truly am having a lot of fun. I've got my learners' permit, I'm driving, I can finally get a job, yet I can still come home every night, care free, into the loving arms of mommy.
The other day, I was browsing through Yahoo answers (I had a terrible case of boredom) and stumbled upon this question:
"Are 16-19 year old virgins pathetic?" My eyes shot out of my head as if I just got into a collision with a concrete wall at 60 miles per hour. Since when were 16-19 year old virgins considered
pathetic?
This got me thinking about teens my age and what has become the "norm." I thought about the 9 girls in my high school who were pregnant, and how they received congratulations from other students in the school.
So, now it's an achievement to get pregnant during your teenage years? I for one, plan to outgrow the teeny-bopper section before I even think about bringing a baby into this world. And quite frankly, I've found many ways that being a 16 year old single virgin has advantages over 16 year olds who have lost their virginity and have boyfriends.
For my Junior and Senior year, my main focus is going to be on an SAT score of 2300+ and getting college applications ready. I don't need, nor want, any relationship drama during this time. And my strategy for avoid relationship drama is great and 100% effective - don't get in one. I love the friends I have, and they build me up. They are going to be the ones at the end of the day that understand I need to study for tomorrows test, and not go out to dinner.
Me staying single has also helped me build an idea of what values I'm going to search for in a husband. Staying single through my high-school years gives me a chance to decide what sort of person is going to be most complimenting for my personality type. Plus, lets face it, most teenage guys are going to run at the sight of tears and running mascara. I don't want to be afraid to cry if I need to, in fear that my boyfriend will leave me. If I have emotions, they will surface, and nobody has to be fine with that but me. Staying single gives me an opportunity to build myself up and understand myself as an independent woman. I don't need a guy to make me happy, and that's something I think every girl my age should try to understand -
you can be single and still be loved.Aside the fact that I'm enjoying single life, I'm also enjoying being a virgin. I don't care how good sex feels! My mom once told me, "
If you're ready for sex, you better be ready for labor pains." I concur, mom! ;) I want sex to be a special moment, and yes, I'll wait until I'm 25 if I have to. To me, sex is a gift given to married couples, by nature, that want to reproduce and bring beautiful children in the world, and that's what I believe it should be for. I want to stay a virgin because I know that any man I marry is going to be worth the wait, and I want the passion and love that comes with saying "I've saved this moment specifically for you."
So, as you can tell, I'm happy to be a virgin and single. And I just want to put this final note out there:
Don't EVER be ashamed to be the only virgin in your circle of friends or the only single girl at a party. Take pride in your independence! You don't have to have a man by your side to be loved. I surely don't! :)
NOTE: This post was NOT intended to discriminate young couples, teen moms, or sexually active teens. It's your life, you make your decisions and I'll make mine! :)
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Comments (164)
WOW I loved this so very very much! I think 16 (or 15? Idr the age, but sophomore year of high school) was when I got into my first relationship. But that relationship never progressed beyond kissing, and I'm extremely happy it stayed that simple. I'm nearly 20 now (in September!) and I've had a little more relationship experience (really, only a little) but overall, I still completely agree with you. I'm still a virgin myself, and I also plan to keep it that way until I'm ready.
16-19 virgins are pathetic? That's a ridiculous statement. Yeah having sex at 16 will totally take your happiness to a new level, because happiness is completely dependent on sex at a young age /sarcasm.
You've got your priorities right, screw anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.
This is amazing. My birthday is in 2 weeks and that'll make me 18. While I'm almost always in a relationship, I'm still a virgin. People like to make rude comments like, "Well that's just because no one wants to have sex with you." But, really, I'm proud of being a virgin. I want to try to keep it like that until I'm married. Congrats on sticking to your morals and being proud of your virginity. Much love.(:
I'm glad you have that mindset. I had the same opinions as a 16-year-old. My opinion is that waiting until college-aged is probably best, but only while being as safe as possible.
I'm very jealous of you. I wish I never lost my virginity till I found the right one. I mean I'm much older than you now (21), but when I lost it, the feeling was great, but the overall experience with the guy afterwards was bad
This is another one of those posts where you'll get a lot of these responses; healthy relationships are a lot different from what you've described. I've been with the same guy since I was a freshmen in high school, now I'm a freshmen in college. It didn't prevent me from doing well in school or on my ACTs, it didn't prevent me from growing or finding myself. In fact, being with him helped me figure myself out tremendously.
And the virginity thing....birth control is around for a reason. Humans are one of very few creatures that have sex for recreation, it's not just about birthing children otherwise we wouldn't need any birth control. I may get a lot of crap for this, but losing your virginity is not going to change who you are as a person. You will still be you, he will still be him, you'll just have shared something special [or not so special depending on your feelings towards sex] and enjoyed a moment together.
I don't know, your post just seemed very typical of someone who knew little of what they were talking about [which is understandable since you're talking about things you haven't done].
I had similar views when I was in high school but once I experienced the big O then things changed lol but yeah, I don't want to get pregnant at this time in my life, mainly because I want my freedom and less stress
I have other priorities.
i'm glad! please stay this way.
@Gorrific@xanga - I respect this answer and I agree with it. Well said.
good for you!
i was a virgin for a LONG time by choice....to the point where people didn't even believe me when i said i was haha. but wow, im such an old fogie now....even when i was in high school...there were way more virgins than non-virgins. whenever you found out someone was NOT a virgin it was a big deal. now i guess its the other way around and i actually think its kinda sad. kids these days have to grow up much faster...thats just how the world is now...but i don't think many american teenagers are that equipped to enter into a sexual relationship. not to say they can't...but studies show its better to lose your virginity or enter into a marriage at an older age as opposed to a younger age.
back in college i also told every freshman that its a better idea not to have a relationship their freshman year. sure some did and it turned out great...but a majority of them regret it cuz there is SO much to experience in your first year of college and so many friendships you can form. why limit yourself to one person right off the bat. even among my own friends , the ones that were in relationships their freshman year are always gonna be a tiny bit out of the loop cuz they missed out on so many of our freshman year stories and experiences.
anyways, i agree....not trying to judge anyone....but good for you!
i'm happy to hear that you enjoy being a 16 year old and being a virgin. i give you a lot of props for doing that. and that's exactly what you should be. its sad to hear other girls try to be older sometimes. let me tell you something, i'm 26 and i would do anything to be 16 again and carefree with no worrie.
I thought a lot of what you said reminded me of the 31 year old virgin guys post....
in other words.......a whole lot of excuses for a reason to not try something out......
It's VERY refreshing and reassuring to see someone with a mindset like you. Keep it up.
I am 21 going on 22 and still a virgin. Only immature kids worry about what other people think so you're on the right track. Do well on ur SAT's!
I'm happy to be 21, single, and a virgin...
@Rhia_Pyrithea@xanga - Really? You're 20 and still a virgin? That makes me feel good! I'm 19 and still a virgin, and I was just thinking how even if I met a guy like right now, I would probably still be a virgin by the time I was 20. I was starting to feel a little down about it, but meeting people like you who are the same age as me or older makes me feel as though there really is no need to rush. Go you! :3
i always tell my lil cousins to be happy they're young and virgins. sex changes people, if they say it doesn't, they're lying.
Nice post. Do your thing.
I believe in just about everything you just said :)
Only, I've been in relationships before.
However, this is my senior year and my best friend and I (he's a guy, btw) have pledged to be relationship free! We want to go on dates, still. That way we can still socialize with the opposite sex in a romantic manner, and we can also see what qualities we do and don't like for future boyfriends/husbands/etc.
It's so much easier :) With a boyfriend, you feel pressured, and deal with arguments/clinginess/etc. Being single is just so much better (for me). Also, I don't have to worry about dealing with another heartbreak. I want my senior year to be fun.
@Momo_Wakahisa@xanga - Oh yeah, I'm definitely not changing that little fact for awhile. I know I'm just not ready for sex. Though, ironically, I have a boyfriend who's just waiting to jump into it. xD But hey, I'm not going to jump into anything I'm not ready for. (On the plus side, him sticking around means he's not in it for the sex. =P) I'm definitely curious about it, but I'm not ready for it.
And I totally agree. It's always nice to meet others around our age who are still virgins. I go to college in NYC and damn near every single one of my friends is always joking around about how I "need to get laid". They say it in jest, but the pressure is still there, and it gets annoying. But I'm a strong-minded person, thank goodness. =]
lady, you rock! your awesome! dont let anyone change your way of thinking! =]
your what they call " a rare breed" hahahahaha but for reals, keep that train of thought girly =P
right on girly! thats so good of u! its rare to find ppl who want to save that 1st time for marrige! there was a song some1 shared wit me once called "the gift of my love" an it has this one phrase "the gift of my love im saving for you.." and it talks about saving that special time for the person you marry an love! i feel the same way! im 19 and im still saving that moment for that special man in my life after we are married and ready! ur smart to not have relationships in hs i had some in hs and it jus distracted me from my schooling and i always had my worst grades when i had a boyfriend and now as a sophomore in college who has been single for more than a yr now im doin much better! and dating! that is so much fun especially if u have no pressure 2 form a relationship out of it! jus some good fun wit a great guy who respects you and what you stand for! keep standing strong in your choices! :)
woo! same here , babe! i love being 16 , single & hymen still in tact (;
lmfao .
You are very wise for someone your age! I'm 19 and I love being a single virgin. I'm still too young for that kinda thing. If I'm not ready to be married, I'm not ready for sex. Thats how I feel. I still need to go to college.
I enjoyed reading your blog, I hope you don't mind. :]
i love this post! im 18 and guys never believe me that i am too. i like acting sexy and confident knowing that its my choice. i mean you only get one first time and i want it to be with someone i absolutely love. i like having my own non-dirty little secret;)