Monday, 02 August 2010

• Taking Crazy to New Levels: A True Story About My Boyfriend's Ex

  
  
  You know those pain-in-the-ass ex girlfriends? My boyfriend has one, and a circle of events has happened over the past few months.
  
  I'm telling the story: 
  
  It was the last of school of my junior year; I had been single and looking for a man for 6 months, because I was interested in having another relationship. Well, there was this guy named Christian; he was quiet and seemed like an introvert, but I found him to be strangely attractive. I think his snake bites probably had something to do with my interest, and these bite scars were how I started talking to him -  I walked up to him one day after school and just started talking and asking questions.
  
  He seemed comfortable talking to me, so I continued the conversation for a while. After about 10 minutes of my rambling, he said "Um... this will seem weird but can I have your number?" Excitedly, I wrote down my number on his palm and kissed it. We gradually started seeing each other more and more often, and eventually started dating. Now it's officially a relationship.
  
  I had left for my mom's house in Colorado for a 3 1/2 week trip, while Christian stayed in Arizona. Well, this is where the real story begins.  He called me during the 2nd week I was in Colorado and told me that his ex, Jacy, had sent him a message saying that she was pregnant with his child. It shocked me, but knowing that they had been sexually active when they had been together, it didn't take me by too much surprise. What had apparently happened was that the last time they had sex, she WAS on birth control but she had recently changed brands, so in her words: "It hadn't worked for a month."
  
  Christian and I talked about it (he said he had used a condom), and I told him I wasn't planning on leaving him- he needed support and someone to receive advice and words of comfort from. A few days later, he busted out in tears, because Jacy had been sending him some of the most hateful messages I've ever seen. She was blaming him for ruining her life and that he was a piece of shit for getting her pregnant. I told him to just tell her to get an abortion because #1- she's only 16, and still had both high school and college left to complete, and #2- if and when the baby was born, she more than likely wouldn't be financially stable enought to be able to support her child like a mother should (and neither would Christian).
  
  He talked to Jacy about the abortion, and repeated what I said about the money situation. Her response was: "You just want to ruin my life more! Your new whore can shove her advice up her ass and I hope she gets hit by a truck with hot garbage juice!".... I truly expected a more mature response. He didn't talk to her for a week after that.
  
  The day I arrived back into Arizona was the day that Jacy sent yet another hateful message, but also one with a bit of hope for Christian and our relationship- "Hey you ass face, I'm getting an abortion. I don't want your dirt baby inside of me." He offered to go with her, but she said she didn't want him to have anything to do with the pregnancy (so why is she complaining about it to him?) so he just wished her luck. Literally just a few hours later, she sent a message stating that she changed her mind and didn't want an abortion because she'd feel pain and guilt for killing the fetus.
  
  I had a big problem with this second change of heart because, first of all, she's the one who said she didn't want the spawn of Christian growing inside of her; secondly, I'd feel pain and guilt for bringing a baby into the world where his chances of being able to depend on his mother for survival were so poor.  Christian asked her why she had reconsidered so suddenly, and she never answered.
  
  At this point, I asked Christian if Jacy had ever provided solid proof that she was, in fact, having a child. He said she hadn't.  I told him that he needed to demand that she do that, because his dealing with all of her hatred towards him for no reason would be complete bullshit. The hatred went on for a full month without her provision of any type of proof of her pregnancy. I was getting impatient.
  
  During the late weeks of June, Jacy suddenly had a severe anxiety attack and it killed the developing fetus. Christian was heartbroken for her, but he felt like something was shady. I did, too.
  
  A couple of days later, she told him that she was keeping the baby........ Wait, didn't she just say a couple days ago that it had died from an anxiety attack? Both of us very confused at this point, we discussed (yet again) whether or not she was lying.
  
  Then a few days later, she decided to get the abortion again -  but said that Christian had to pay for it.  She also said she didn't want him there when she got it done. He raised the money by working a full week, 14 hours each day, until he came up with $520.  He gave it to Jacy.
  
  The night of her "abortion," Christian went to the Mayhem/Uproar concert...guess who he saw there? She was bouncing up and down happily, after she supposedly got an abortion (she would have been about 9-11 weeks pregnant, so she would have had her cervix stretched open and the fetus scraped out). He told me he saw her and said that she wouldn't allow him to go near her by using her friends as body guards. By this point, I'd found it very hard to believe that she got the abortion. Abortions are physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, and having her cervix stretched open would certainly have required at least a 5-day recovery period.
  
  Christian was still confused, but I was past confusion - I was angry. I told him that he needed to tell his mom to go talk to her parents or grandmother about what was going on, and find out if she really was pregnant. I demanded that he call Jacy's grandmother and talk to her about how she's been acting and if she was aware of her pregnancy and the abortion. He did, and to my complete lack of surprise - granny didn't have a clue.
  
  I snapped. I went to Christian's mother and told her about Jacy and that I didn't believe she got the abortion with the money like she said she would. So, just a few days ago, Christian, his mother, and I went for a visit to her parent's house and discussed what had been going on and how she'd been torturing him via text. Jacy kept appearing behind the screen door, screaming "They're lying! They just want to get me in trouble!"
  
  Jacy hadn't told her parents at all about the "pregnancy." She had lied to them about how she had gotten the money that Christian had given her for an abortion, which she had actually spent on clothes. Jacy had been with a new boyfriend, who had convinced her to steal the money so they could both buy...Lord-knows-what. All of the hateful and rude text messages (which Christian had saved in order to show them to her parents as proof of the whole ordeal), were just her way of dealing with the break up; now she's going to a clinic for therapy and help.
  
  (On a side-note, we also found out that Jacy had used Christian's login info for him Myspace account and changed his password so he wasn't able to login into it, and sent a butt load of false and hateful messages to his friends.)
  
  What she's accomplished from all of this is gaining my pity and lost both mine and Christian's respect. I really can't comprehend why some women do this just because another person doesn't want to be with them. Acceptance is the strongest quality a person can have. I just hope this is over for good, so that Christian and I can be happy together, and get along with our relationship - without having to include Jacy in it.
  
  Have you ever had a run-in with your boy/girlfriend's crazy ex?
  

  Image Source

  • 4:03 PM
  • 7788 Views
  • 198 eProps
  • 112 Comments