Sunday, 01 August 2010
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3 Reasons Why Guys Say They'll Call and Then Don't
1. He’s just not that into you
Taking a cue from the book that was turned into a movie, in case the headline of Reason #1 may not be too clear, I will further explain. This typical scenario can be found all over the world. Guy meets girl, guy and girl talk at bar, guy and girl (maybe) hook up at bar, guy and girl exchange phone numbers, guy promises girl he’ll call, guy never does, girl cries and complains to friends, swears vengeance on said guy. Think of it like this: Imagine at the end of the night with your guy, he leaves the bar and doesn’t ask for your number. You’d say to yourself, “What a douchecanoe!” Your guy asked for your number because it is the polite thing to do after spending the entire night with you. Deep down, he knew he had no intention of ever seeing you again. By intentionally trying to not hurt your feelings, he actually hurt you more by blowing you off. If this isn’t some reverse psychology, then I don’t know what is.
2.He’s drunk or under the influence of some sort of psychotropic drug
This example comes from personal experience. About a month ago I went to my local bar with a girlfriend, where we were obviously taking advantage of Ladies’ Night $2 drafts. I started talking to a guy who was cute, but I soon got the feeling that this guy had-the-potential-to-be-a-serial-rapist. The main reason being after only hanging out with him for an hour, he had already planned out our entire future together. Anyway, my main point is that since I was drunk and couldn’t tell my left from my right foot, I was reciprocating these stalker-ish feelings because it seemed like a good idea at the time. If I were sober, I would have run far, far away from the Mark David Chapman in training. The same can be said for guys who are drunk. You don’t know what they will do/say when they’re under the influence. When my guy friends get drunk together, they have a contest as to who can break the most shit in their apartment. Did it seem like a good idea at the time? Absolutely. In retrospect, was it the best idea? Probably not. Back to my main point: if you meet your potential Prince Charming on a Saturday night and he’s already picking out future baby names for your children, he will either call/text you 5 times a day, or you will never hear from him again. So please don’t be too upset when he doesn’t call you the next day like he said he would.
3. He has a girlfriend
When a guy has a girlfriend, especially if marriage is around the corner, or if all of his buddies are very much single and continuously creep on women at bars, he wants to know that he is still desirable by the gender with two X chromosomes. The worst name a guy can be called by his friends is “whipped” because it is extremely emasculating. Therefore, a guy who very much has a loving girlfriend waiting for him back home, will act 100% single on guys’ night because it’s a way to bond with his friends. Let’s put it this way: What guy wants to stay in with his girl watching The Notebook for the fourth time when he knows his friends are out bar hopping until 3 am? He wants to reassure himself that if he ever becomes single again, he won’t forget how to play the field. By purposefully involving someone else’s feelings (yours) with no regard to anyone else’s but his own inflated ego, this guy should either propose to his girl or break it off. He can’t have his cake and eat it too.
Ladies, the bottom line is if you’re into a guy and are pissed he’s not calling you, remember that you also have a cell phone and are just as capable of picking up the phone and dialing his number! This is the 21st Century – forget the stereotype that guys are the ones who should call first. Although the sting of rejection can hurt, at least you’ll know you can move on and find a guy who, when he says he will call, actually will! So I’ll leave you with this: If a guy says he’ll call and doesn’t, do you call him?
What do you think? Any other reasons they might not call back?
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Comments (26)
Now the 3rd reason has me paranoid that my boy will do this, thanks.
4. You were really, really bad in bed.
No.. I don't call him. If we exchanged numbers and he never bothered to call.. he's either not motivated enough, scared of rejection, or just not interested. All of which are not good signs.
So move on to the next guy.
4. He's in shock that he actually got her number. No, wait, not quite fitting of a bar dweller.
#3 may be true. But a man doing that is far from ready to be in any kind of relationship.
@SodomyClown@xanga - You look familiar.
@jasonwl@xanga - I am.
"1. He’s just not that into you"
This is the basically the correct answer. There really could be a dozens of reasons ....but 97% of them all still fall under or are influenced by the fact that "he's just not that into you." (other than rare cases of like the guy really wanted to call you but lost his phone or something like that)
Even being totally wasted....if you get a number, the next day you will know how interested you are in calling that person. Sometimes you still are, and sometimes you aren't.
There probably aren't that many groups of friends over the age of 19 that think their friend with a gf still needs to hit on girls. I don't think a guy is "whipped" cuz he stays faithful to his gf. I think he's whipped when he can't even hang out with his friends once a month cuz he's with his gf 99.99% of the time. I know a guy like that....and the one time he did hang out with his friends (which never happens) his gf's plans fell thru and she wanted him to hang out with her.....and he left! now that is just plain embarrassing.
"1. He’s just not that into you" just basically applies to guys and girls and involves more than just a phone call. You see girls that want their bf to propose but he can't commit that much....then after you break up, you find out a year later than he's engaged! Or maybe a guy asks out a girl and she is flattered but gives you "im not looking for a relationship right now" or "im really trying to focus on my career right now" ...which very well can be totally true. but then you find out 2 months later she is dating this rich good looking stud and you're like "whaaa?".
There are a bunch of reasons things don't work out in relationships. But most of the time its simply cuz he/she's just not that into you!
@SodomyClown@xanga - Yes.
5. He overslept.
6. He dropped his phone into the toilet or a bowl of ramen.
7. He forgot.
4. he's an egomaniac player and getting phone numbers is a game to him to see how easy it is to get #'s because he is testing out his player skills. he doesn't call any of them but shows his friends what a pimp he is or he brags about how the women at the club were throwing themselves at him.
He's nervous / extremely shy.
this goes with #1, he doesn't care, he can take it or leave it.
#1 and it is the only answer that motivates you to move on. yeap, he's not worth it. there are better guys out there, always:)
Number 1 sounds more like it....
4. Space Monkeys
When they attack, no one knows what's happening.
5. Ninjas
It's hard to call someone when you're battling for your life with these shadowy assassin attacks.
6. Sheer Awesomeness
He realized you were too cool and needs someone less cool to build up his self esteem.
7. Zombie Excuse
He just was attacked by zombies and lost your number as he was battling the undead. This happens a lot on Mondays for some reason.
@taylorailana@xanga - to totally agree and i'm sticking to this one only.
4. He never uses his phone. Ever. I mean, its off 90% of the time.
5. He just found his phone (because he never uses it and lost it) and my number washed off when he went drunk swimming a couple of days ago and didn't think calling me was that big of a deal.
The two above excuses used by my latest crush or whatever it is.
There are a million possible reasons why someone doesn't call you back. They might be sick, they might have saved it in their phone wrong, they might not be interested, the list goes on. If you REALLY want to pursue the relationship, I'd say it's acceptable to call or text once, and if you hear nothing, drop it and move on.
@mycontinuity@xanga - LMAO.
@taylorailana@xanga - Definitely.
Call him? No. If he wants to call, he will. #1 is the only excuse worth believing because any other one leaves you wondering and worrying. Assume that he's just not that into you, and move on to someone who is. Cuz you know what? If there did happen to be some extenuating circumstance that prevented him from calling when he was dying to talk to you again, he'll probably call you later and tell you about it. And who doesn't love pleasant surprises?
Wow. Thanks, Captain Obvious.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - This is pretty much what I was going to say. Sometimes a guy just wants to get a number to prove to his friends that he can.
I totally believe that I am perfectly capable of calling a guy and if I like him enough I will. Usually though, if he doesn't call me I'll take that as a sign and move on. Once he's called me though I have no problems calling or texting him first.
@mycontinuity@xanga - Love it! HAHA
Okay, so you call him and he doesn't answer. It goes straight to voicemail. Nothing about screening calls? Guys do that a lot. I've put up with that crap before and eventually got to a point where I either said "screw it" or whatever. Or you call, and all he wants to do is text answer because he "can't talk"?
Meh.
I no longer wait for the guy to call. If he calls, he calls. If not, I know what's happening.
If he doesn't call you back..consider it a gift. Learn from it and move on. There are many, many fish in the sea. He isn't necessarily the best one.
Move on.