Friday, 30 July 2010
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4 Quick Fixes to Get Over Someone
Have you all heard the ridiculous maxim that it takes half the time you were with someone in order to get over them? Well I don't know about you but if I were with someone for 4 years, there is no way in hell I am going to be moping around listening to Coldplay and eating ice cream for 24 months.
In fact, there are other medicines besides TIME that can help you get over someone. Besides, who quits smoking cold turkey? You need distractions, nicotine patches, something to help you forget. So here are my 4, not 100, quick fixes to get over someone:1.) Delete them out of your life. (at least for now) It is very difficult to be friendly with your ex. You both know each other like the back of your hand. Do you really want to pretend like everything is all gumdrops and rainbows? I guarantee that at least ONE of you is suffering on the inside. Also you can't make them your new f*ck buddy. Sorry kiddos, there is a plethora of porn and vibrators available to you. I will use the cigarette metaphor again. If someone is trying to quit smoking, do you think they are hanging around cigar bars/have an emergency pack on them at all times? No! They completely get rid of the evidence, because it makes it easier. I'm not saying that in the future you and your ex can't be friendly but you have to cleanse yourself of all feelings that you have for them completely before any type of friendship can occur.
2) Get a Hobby. This is probably the most popular advice for getting over someone, mainly because you are being distracted and excited by something that you are making your own. It works though! Seriously go buy a guitar, take up cooking lessons, learn French, heck go skydiving, do SOMETHING. And in the process you may even meet someone new.
3.) Become a Flirt Machine. Don't get this twisted with becoming a slut. I do not agree with the phrase "In order to get over someone, get under someone else!" That is by far the worst advice ever. What I mean is actually just become a flirt whore. This builds your dating confidence again and opens new doors to you. Even if they aren't cute, flirt!
4.) Get "Hot." Often time in relationships, people get lost in the other person. So what I mean by hot is not society's standard hot. I'm not advising you to become anorexic or get Botox. It basically means the BEST POSSIBLE YOU. The hottest people are the ones that feel hot on the inside and that translates to the outside. This isn't so that your ex can come across your Facebook page and be pissed that your a hot potato now. Although that is definitely a plus, that shouldn't be your primary motive. Do it because it will make you feel alive and happy. You shouldn't need a SO in the first place as an excuse to start caring about yourself.
What are some of your quick fixes to ex withdrawal?
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- From: LadyBlahBlah
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Comments (26)
sorry, half didnt work and one was offensive.. 'im not advising you to be anorexic..' which is a mental health illness. which is very very painful for you and your family, that is very hard to go through the treatment for esp. if it doesnt work properly and is a long lasting memory even when you recover..
becoming a flirt machine.. getting under someone? sorry this is wrong, completely - maybe some people do it but are they not just replacing something that is missing? feeling the connection and deepness of someone else? less lonely? trying to believe they are the other person or thinking about them as them..
deleting them.. uh huh definately for a while anyway its what i do but i couldnt for my last bf and nothing in the world is working.. and yes my anorexia had a blip - recovery didnt recover me enough.
to those is just takes time, you have to find love in yourself before trying to find it in someone else, you cant replace them or make anyone else feel they need to live up to your ex. you will get over them in time, you may become friends - or enemies (one ex. put a photo of me on an archery target on valentines day - he broke up with me..) but it happens for a reason and you need to focus on other things.. or burn his stuff ;)
I got over all my exes doing the under thing ;D
@pixii_minni@xanga - hey i think you need to reread what I said about the anorexia and getting under someone. i was actually saying i was AGAINST that. sometimes the tone of the author gets mixed up when it's posted online. just want to make sure you are reading it correctly :)
I would have suggested a sharp object, a shovel, some bleach, rope...
@LadyBlahBlah - no i meant it as two different parts i didnt make it clear sorry about that.
definitely get hot is my number one...not really hot, but at least look better so he gets jealous and then work out!!! working out makes you tired so you don't think about that person.
hanging out with friends and going out on dates asap takes your mind off them. Of course it's important to take time and to mourn, but half the time you spend will be unnecessary.
As long as you're having fun, you won't think of whatever his name is.
If only these worked for me....
Getting hot is totally a good one. So is going out and having fun. I tried to get my boyfriend back for nearly a year-and-a-half, and one of the things I did was just hanging out with friends. Eventually, my pictures wound up on Facebook, and he and I were still friends there, so I KNEW he was going to see them. :)
There are no "quick fixes." At least not from personal experience.
@kinamorata@xanga - Agreed. I think that's everyone's experience.
I agree with 1,2 and 4. Staying in communication with them just makes the breakup harder (and sometimes stops it from really happening). Finding something else to occupy your time is a great idea. Rediscover something you love that you haven't done much lately. Spend more time doing stuff with other people who enjoy it too. Learn to enjoy hanging out by yourself, etc. Work on yourself, best your best you. All of those things helped me through my last breakup.
But the whole flirt-whore thing? Um...I generally avoid any type of label/action that involves the word "whore," but that's just me. And in general, flirting with everything that moves may not make you a whore, but it sure the heck makes you look like one. And flirting indiscriminately means running the risk of attracting the attention of people whose attention you don't actually want, which can be problematic. So...nope. Why not just flirt with people you're actually attracted to/interested in? And in the meantime... see #2.
The best thing that helped me was that I moved out of my parents house and started my first year of college. I was so busy all the time that I didn't have time to think about what had happened. We had broken up two weeks before I started school. The biggest thing that helped though was that my dorm was next door to a guy's dorm. Him and I hung out almost every weekend and would just sit and watch movies and Scrubs. He would just hold my hand or put his arm around me, but we never kissed or did anything. He would walk me back to my dorm every night. It was perfect and helped me exactly how I needed it to.
rmb this next time ~~ = ]
Just your description of #3 sounds slutty, yet you're warning us not to become sluts...wtf?
I did all of these except the flirting part... It worked pretty well for me
I was going to recommend it until I saw the "your".
Nice ideas though, except for maybe the flirting one. That could get you into a whole mess of trouble.
@kellouise@xanga - I think what she means is flirt but don't be "touchy" or go have sex with these people. Flirting can be done without laying a single finger on someone and could in most cases be passed off as just being "friendly".
my ex cheated on me throughout the two years we've been together, so that was a major turn off for me. but what also helped was i thought about 5 things that made me really hate him and i wrote it down, and whenever i would start to miss him, i would refer to those 5 things and i got over him. it was pretty quickly too.
I whole heartedly agree with #1. It's not a "quick fix" I'd say, but it definitely helps. 2 and 3 are good ones too.
LOVE this post!
I recently broke up with my ex (who I was with for more than 2 years) 3 weeks ago, and I pretty much did everything you listed. I cut him out, kept myself busy (with school/work), went out with friends (something I rarely did while in a relationship), worked out more regularly, did some light flirting... and it's been great! I feel like in just these few weeks I have regained the self-confidence I lost while immersed in my past relationship... and I've never felt better.
Hooray to the SINGLE life! :D
Happiness is the best revenge. (; Do it right. Hahahaha.
But seriously, get back to that time in your life when you didn't need him/her to make you happy... You were happy by yourself. Just do it.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - yes, it feels nice when I know that i'm doing way better than my ex in terms of both life and career...except one part, the dating part lol. my ex got a girlfriend for a while already...but sometimes, I feel like he should be the one who gets a significant other after me since he was the one who played with my feelings...whatever happened to karma?!?
Deleting them from your life is by far the most effective. Also, getting hot is wonderful advice. Do something different, feel good about yourself. I don't/didn't find flirting to help whatsoever. It made me feel like I was trying to overcompensate for how much I missed who I REALLY wanted to be talking to. Though, dating again is important. Feeling sexy, having someone like you, and possibly even liking them back! Get on out there, ;)
great advice! fun and refreshing! i like the idea of re-enhancing yourself! after all, there was a reason your ex got with you --- time to find yourself again and push forward! thanks lady blahblah, you always do it for me
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I need a hobby.. -____-;