Wednesday, 28 July 2010
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Is Sexting Cheating?
Cheating is probably one of my most favorite topics because of how subjective it is. Is it cheating if you just peck someone on the lips? If you two don't have sex?If you haven't said the magic three words yet? If you just sexT? Where do you draw the line? Clearly there are different strokes for different folks. So I am going to address sexting in an attempt to rid you all of your migraines.I know some of you may be wondering...isn't sexting emotionally cheating? Well, it depends on how you define emotional. To me emotional and physical are two completely different concepts. You have emotional desires (love, affection) and physical desires (horny, lustful). Now I admit that these two mesh, but ONLY in one circumstance. The woman and the man have to have physical contact in order for the emotional feelings to develop.
We are humans, not robots. If you think that you can fall in love with a guy who constantly texts you saying he's fantacizing about you in a bunny suit, then maybe you should see a shrink. Being romantic is one thing...being kinky is another.
As long as you can restrain from actually seeing this person face to face then you shouldn't have a problem! This means that sending nude photos is definitely entering red flag territory. You don't want to actually see the person because they feel more real to you and that is not what you want. Emoticons are acceptable though
.Now here comes the tricky part. What if you get caught mid sext? Well I have a solution to avoid this from ever happening. Ok I am not promoting this, however, there is a phone application called Tiger Text. It basically lets you set time limits to your text messages. It deletes the text off of BOTH you and your sext partners phone! I mean come on, that is pretty damn cool.
If you don't have this fancy application and are discovered texting the deed, then you may need to get creative: "Oh babe I was just practicing so I can sext you at work! I was paying this person for sext lessons!" If that doesn't work then you have to tell a little thing called the truth and beg on your knees for forgiveness.
So, if you are in a relationship with someone but you sext randos from time to time, you aren't really breaking moral ground. I'm not saying that my moral compass points north but I don't think a little harmless scandal in life ever hurt anyone. And if you find yourself sexting maybe you should reevaluate your sex life anyway a.k.a. find your nearest sex shop and go WILD.
When it comes to cheating, as long as a technological device is in between the two people and there is no physical/visual confrontation, then is it really considered cheating?
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- From: LadyBlahBlah
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Comments (162)
I'm not even going to read this. Hell fuckin' yes it's cheating.
If it's something you can't tell your significant other about without getting in a fight, I would say it's cheating.
And who cares if it's emotional or purely for lustful reasons? Aren't significant others expected to fulfill both those areas exclusively? I would never do it, and I would definitely never tolerate my SO doing it.I didn't bother to read it either. If you have to ask, it's probably cheating according to your SO. There are couples that do the whole "open relationship" thing, but if you feel the need to cover your tracks, you need to at least let your SO know that you're doing it. Even if there's no physical contact, it still hurts.
if the answer to "is my SO going to be mad/upset/hurt by this?" is "yes"... then it's most likely going to be considered cheating.
Yes it's cheating because it means you aren't satisfied enough with your partner. Any kissing, sexting, emotional cheating... it's all cheating and it's not okay.
If you want to sex text someone while you're in an exclusive and/or committed relationship, yes, I do consider that cheating. Just because you haven't met that person or having a technological device between the two of you doesn't make that any less than cheating, imo. It's like, "Hey, call me and let's have phone sex without my significant other knowing. I'm not cheating on him bc you're not physically here!" FAIL!
..and if you're hiding this from your significant other then it's a big DUH YES you are cheating. I mean, are you serious???
If you feel the need to cover your tracks then obviously you are doing something wrong.
If your in a relationship it's cheating, unless your sexting the person you're in a relationship with.
YES YES YES
It's cheating. This post doesn't make me happy ):
@HollowTendencies@xanga - Same, why read it? The title says it all
It's cheating! If it hurts someone in some way..or you know you shouldn't be doing it..then it's cheating. Enough said.
I wonder why this is even a question.
YES it is cheating.
if you're not able to tell your SO about it, then it's cheating.
YES yes Si Si.
Hmm, I see your point. The fact that you're not seeing or physically interacting with your sexting partner makes it a bit of a fantasy, and fantasies aren't generally thought of as cheating. However, sexting seems like it's taking that fantasy thing a bit too far, because you are in fact interacting with another person (even if electronically, so it doesn't feel exactly "real"). That's probably the important difference here (and hence why everyone else is screaming at you that it's cheating).
Why is this even a question? Unless the two are in an open relationship in which they agreed to allow each other to do it, yes - it is definitely cheating.
Ok everyone! I am going to throw something else into the mix. Is going to a strip club cheating?
Cheating is cheating. There's no way around it. I hate how some try to find an excuse to make it seem like "It isn't cheating if...." If you're doing something you know will end up hurting the person you supposedly love and is commited to, why would anyone in their right mind think that's OK?
@LadyBlahBlah - If you're in a relationship with someone you care about and love, why would there be a need to have to go to a strip club? So you can waste a few bucks by having naked women dance on poles for your pleasure and enjoyment? That's why you have a SO. Just the mindset a person brings with them when they go to a stripclub is enough for me to consider that mentally cheating.
I really can't believe I just read that... and was directed to a link to make sure I don't get caught doing it.
I 100% count that as cheating, no question. I would be irate if I found out my boyfriend was sexting someone other than me. And I count fantasies as made up mind-women, not a woman they actually know, that is real, and breathing, and thinking about him, as well.
@LadyBlahBlah - Porn, strip clubs, whatever - no, that doesn't count. Completely different scenario. It's a one night thing, but if my boyfriend gets the damn phone number of one of the strippers and starts sexting her - then yes, that's cheating. A strip club is like another dimension of dude's mind - those women exist only in the plane, and when they leave, they stay there. Unless... they don't. But that's another story.
@LadyBlahBlah - In my personal opinion, yes. Many other people wouldn't think of it as cheating though so it probably depends on the person. I believe strip clubs, porn, kissing, or even flirting with another person of the opposite sex is cheating. Anything that is taking the place of your SO to fulfill a sexual or emotional need to me is cheating. Luckily my man has the exact same viewpoint on it so it works very well for our relationship and we're both very satisfied. However, not everyone shares this view, therefore it really just depends on your SO and his/her feelings about it from the beginning. :)
@aexanatomy@xanga - I just answered that question as well, and this is an example about how the answer depends on the person. Everyone's opinion on this type of question differs. I believe it's still cheating because they are still lusting after real people, even though they are not acting out physically. Personally I'd find it hurtful, but there are many people who do not mind it at all, such as yourself. Everyone feels differently about it, so as long as you have an SO whose definition of cheating matches your own, then it's all good! :)
@presque_la@xanga - So porn is also cheating to you? Just wondering :)
And I agree, that's one of the first things I talk about with an SO.
Anything that involves turning on someone else with the intent of doing so, and getting a rush back is cheating... end story.
@LadyBlahBlah - Id say no unlesss you're there often and have the girls numbers and get a lot of danees just to get off etc.
@presque_la@xanga - I don't think flirting, unless the purpose is to make sure the other party falls for you and wants to have sex with you, is really being used to fulfill a sexual or emotional desire that would replace that of your partner. Same for porn, unless you're watching while your partner is laying beside you or you're addicted to it. At least to me.
As for sexting, I would say hell yeah that's cheating heh.
God, what a horrible post!!! Yes, it is most definitely cheating!!!
@LadyBlahBlah - Yes.
I view sexting as cheating, but that is me. I guess my motto when it comes to cheating is that if it feels wrong and you have to lie to your partner about it, then it's cheating.