Contrary to...all...of the other "do it"s that I warn you "don't", this is a precaution I give from experience as the perpetrator of the act. Hi, my name is Fiona, and I suffer from name amnesia.
This is my story.
I tell it to you because it's a somewhat typical, unconditionally flawed routine of mine that always leads to the complete absence of name-memory- and I hope you can relate.
It was a hot, muggy evening in downtown Richmond, VA. Observing that it was a night appropriately steamy enough for wild acts of love, lust, passion, and crime, I strapped on my highest heels and headed into the night.
As a result of peer pressure, the bar to which I arrived was not my bar of choice. My expectations were reconfirmed as legitimate as I stared around the room at a host of ladies and gentlemen that I can confidently understate were "not my type."
My solution was to drink heavily using the financial services of bar lurkers. You know - those unsuspecting male victims at the bar who soothe a lonely lady with alcoholic offerings. (Men you may take offense, but I'm stating a fact - if ya don't want women to prey on your cash, don't offer it up so quickly).
Drink heavily I did. It wasn't until my brain was a bit less on the....how shall I say it..."intact" side that I finally spotted someone with the potential to make my bar-time worthwhile.
We hung out for a while together at the bar, and actually ended up going to Denny's too (I live on the romantic edge). Then it came down to game-time - "So, can I see you again?" - I'm tellin' you gals, this request is a definite ending to any ordeal comprised of strictly zipped-up flies.
Of course the answer was yes. And so the ritual goes:
Him: "That's great, can I get your number?" (He may have even asked me to put it in his phone myself, or how to spell my name...the usual tricks. Smart/lucky bastard.)
Me: [give it however it was that I did].
Him: "So I'll text you mine, just to check. OK?"
Me: "Yep, perfect."
He waits until I'm not with him anymore to text something cute and I'm left with that - a cute text. Attached to a random number. Oh, boy - another one for the collection.
I'm sure he probably said his name at some point. There was probably a moment where we did the "Hi's" and handshakes (or maybe there wasn't), or at the very least where one of his friends referred to him by name at some point. My friends all seemed to know his name at the time, and they laughed when I told them later that night that I didn't (buncha jerks conveniently forgot it by the next morning).
The problem was I had absolutely no recollection of this initial interaction by the time I stood staring at the random number blinking on my phone. And at this point, that would be an embarrassing confession to text back. I would have to admit I was either drunk or stupid, or both - no deal.
So another one bit the dust. When I say "added to the collection", I mean this number became an additional item upon a long, long list of unique and useless nicknames created by yours truly for numbers exchanged in a host of similar or identical situations. "Beachweek Error," "Big boy," "Bouncer," "Lil A-Man," "Miami," "OH HELL YES," "Underwear Model,"and "S&M" are a few I got from a quick scroll-down through the contact list just now.
The comforting part about this type of situation is that, oftentimes, I or the other party flakes on the follow-through. On the off-chance that a second meeting does end up occurring, however - shit's awkward.
And this is now one of the less favorable situations. I have now been receiving texts from "Hot Jail Guy" all day about our date tomorrow. I am fucked. There is no way around this. Any of the usual tricks cannot run unnoticed or hidden beyond the first "good-bye."Any name game is suspicious and unwelcome. Even asking to see a license or credit card is too tricky to risk.
Forgetting (or simply not knowing and failing to ask) someone's name for an extended period of time is a no-go - it gives off the impression of flakiness or (and I promise this really IS the case) sluttiness. The assumption is that you take so many damned numbers, you just can't keep track!
That, or it's offensive - you were so incomprehensibly intoxicated upon meeting that you are probably not interested in pursuing this whole ordeal, anyway. The otherwise-potential date may be put off to the point of cancellation.
Name amnesia is a serious disorder. Whether the case is such that you have blanked on someone's name (due to intoxication or otherwise), or such that the initial introduction was so informal that it was nonexistent, embarking on a second prolonged interaction without name knowledge is criminal in the dating world.
It happens to the best (aka moi) of us, and I know that sometimes shit happens. But once again, my advice nonetheless remains hypocritically and unwaveringly firm - just don't do it.
So - have any of you suffered from name amnesia before? How'd it work out for you?
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Comments (17)
"Beachweek Error," "Big boy," "Bouncer," "Lil A-Man," "Miami," "OH HELL YES," "Underwear Model,"and "S&M" are a few I got from a quick scroll-down through the contact list just now
^so awesome. this is for sure the funniest article i've seen from you, love it.
my favorite was hot jail guy, though hahaa
Funny post, but I don't think any of that is such a big deal. Just ask him what his name is. He would have to be really paranoid to make assumptions about you collecting heaps of numbers. And who knows, he might have aquired an even bigger collection than you!
I have terrible name amnesia. A lot of people get really offended by it. I dunno why; a person's name is not a determination in whether that person is compatible with me. My brain just doesn't tend to file it under "important." I can normally remember other things about the person though, like what they majored in, what sports they play, and things like that. You know, that actual important stuff. But hey, people have their own priorities I guess.
Of course, I love when I meet another person with name amnesia. "I forget, what's your name?" "Oh good, now I don't feel bad asking your name too."
My other friend with name amnesia says he like to imagine the person's name over their head when they tell it to them. It's because he works more on a visual level than an auditory one, so it makes him more likely to remember. Hope this helps you out.
Oh, and one preemptive message. To all of you out there that are going to judge this woman for the choices she makes in her life, please just don't do it. It's stupid, it doesn't get you anywhere, and it just makes you look all high-and mighty when you have no reason to be. She has her own set of values; you have yours. Just stay on topic and don't be a dick.
I totally have it. It's not that big of a deal to me anyway. I am sure it offends some people, but I just tell people, I am horrible at names but I don't forget faces. If you really want to know someone's name, just ask.
Don't get drunk and forget some random guy's name. Oh man, I don't think I could have gone another minute without this genius advice.
I, too, suffer from terrible name-amnesia. I usually try to play it off by finding ways not to admit this (while doing everything I can to guess it out without looking suspicious)...sometimes it works, sometimes not. BUT! If you ask him how to find him on Facebook, I guarantee you'll have your answer.
Ask him to add you on Facebook, and you can find out his name that way ;]
people suffer from name amnesia when it comes to MY name. seriously! in just the last week i've had three people forget my name. my name is very common though, brittany. -_-
@Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - I have the same deal. I'm not afraid to ask a person several times what their name is, but somehow I can remember what they majored in at collage. Meh.
I've been told that means you are a little more visually-oriented.
I agree with other comments... Just ask! it may lose you some points with egotistical people, but hey, you weren't going to remember their name anyways. I try to repeat the name to myself often throughout the conversation (in my head of course) and if I cannot remember it at any point, I just say, I'm so sorry, what did you say your name was again??
Ask for his # and when you are putting it into your phone ask him how he spells his name.
Problem solved. =)@zretrareo27@xanga - That's brilliant. XD
@Texana@xanga - Might be awkward if his name is something really generic like "Stan Smith."
When I was traveling with friends this happened to us quite often, so we started naming them in our phones by the countries they were from. Haha.
Well, presumably he knew you didn't put his number into YOUR phone, so he should identify himself when he calls or texts. If he doesn't , it makes perfect sense for you to say "Who is this?", I mean, it's not like you don't or won't have other guys calling, that he should think that you'll automatically know who it is.
no harm, no foul.
It happens to me all the time. Sometimes with ppl I've known for a while. It's probably part of why I have a reputation for absentmindedness. I'm forgetful, so when I meet someone I notify them that I'm going to ask them for their name a lot b/c I'm awful at remembering things. It's pretty sad, but I rely on it also being "kinda cute." Sort of like Dory from Finding Nemo. Everyone loved her.