Thursday, 22 July 2010
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5 Bands to Delete from Your “Latenight Lovin” iTunes Playlist
Nicely done, bro.You’ve got her back to your place. That Chris Rock joke totally won her over. She thinks you’re hilarious. And it’s a good thing you put fresh sheets on the bed before the Power Hour pre-game.
But now, it’s time for a little macbook magic. Let’s throw on some tunes that’ll put her at ease; let her know you’re a classy guy.
None of that techno stuff, tonight. You put together an extra-special playlist earlier today, in anticipation of this precise moment. Unfortunately, your lady is quite familiar with all the bands on the mix, because every single boyfriend-to-be has wooed her with the exact same songs.
Playing the following music is a surefire way to turn your intimate evening into a generic snogfest, so do yourself and your gal pal a favor, and banish these artists from your iTunes for good…
Norah Jones
Dude, she listens to this at work, in her cubicle. Or – if she’s in school – she plays this while studying. Do you really want to be associated with spreadsheets and Psych 101?
John Mayer
If this guy’s songs come on, I promise you, your date will roll her eyes. She’ll think, “I bet you play ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ for all the girls…” Know this: not even John Mayer himself uses his music on hook-up mixes.
Michael Buble
First of all, the guy’s last name is weird: BOOB-lay. Gross. Second, his lyrics are a bit much. “You’re my everything”? Save it for the second date. And finally, his latest music video takes place in the frozen foods aisle of a grocery store. Pro tip: Hot Pockets are the least sexy thing, ever.
Jack Johnson
You might win points for JJ’s “Curious George” soundtrack, but your date will quickly become confused. She’ll wonder, “Um, why does he have a kids movie soundtrack on his computer?” That said, one advantage to these songs is the opportunity to use the sweet line, “Is that a banana in my pocket, or…” She’ll totally be into that. You are SO hilarious, dude.
The Garden State Soundtrack
You think she doesn’t know? It’s obvious that you’re thinking about Natalie Portman when this music comes on. She will not be flattered.
Do you have any iTunes no-no’s? Anything that’s been overplayed on your love-making mix?
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- From: brooklynbro@xanga
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Comments (38)
Fact: I'm a girl.
Fact: All of these people are in my sexy times playlists. Don't ban them. xD
I have no problem with those artists..or soundtrack..I find most of them quite good =) Only when me and my bf make love, we listen to anime or game soundtracks. It doesn't matter, because we're too busy..lol
I loved Garden State so I wouldn't have a single problem with that soundtrack playing.
IMO - delete all songs that have singers;
Nicely done once again, bro. Great writing. I would add the song "Let's Get it On," by Marvin Gaye, but I doubt that anyone actually uses that one anymore. Protip: Never use that song. Ever. Unless you want her to bust out laughing, which is a reasonable strategy, actually. Nevermind. Do it. Really.
Buble = sexy time. Sinatra would be my go to getting it on music <3
lmao. lmao.
Love this
and I've hooked up to the latter.
and he DID have a thing for Jewish girls. DAMMIT!
aaand...thinking about John Mayer turning on John Mayer for a ladydate is just craaacking me up. <3
@efarns@xanga - I strongly agree
Ah-hahaha. Funny points!
I only can only achieve orgasm if I'm sobbing uncontrollably in the missionary position so I prefer if my date plays no music at all.
why is everyone hatin on the techno lately?
If you're a 22 year old frat boy, techno is the way to go.
you're wrong with Buble & Jack Johnson. I LOVE Buble & Johnson!! And if my boyfriend had them on his sexy time play list then he would get sexy time no doubt about it.
Well it can't be that hard to impress a "lady" who you manage to get into bed with so quickly.
People can get busy to whatever they want. I prefer Nine Inch Nails, Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem.
nine inch nails closer is like my goal in life.
I especially agree with John Mayer. Dude's a tool, and I'd sooner gag than 'gasm when listening to him.
I'm confused as the point of this post...?
Note to the guys: If you use a song's lyrics on one girl, don't use them on the next, publicly on your status (AIM at the time, but I suppose facebook would be more current). It just isn't classy, and if you don't hate the previous girl, it's just gonna hurt her. If you hate her...then whatever.
Little bit overcritical of Michael Buble. Really.
None of these are on my sex playlist. Of course, mine is all rap, R&B, and soul, so I guess that makes sense. Isley Brothers for the win.
Jack's other stuff is fantastic to have sex to.
Lost virginity while listening to my OWN Jack Johnson CD.
I don't listen to music during intimacy.
@jasonwl@xanga - For real.
"Save it for the second date"? Um, yeah...
Anyway, regardless, I gotta agree. I just really hate John Mayer's voice.
Really I don't care about music but, some softer Daft Punk stuff is nice, not like super techno. Or some Pink Floyd, specifically The Great Gig in the Sky sort of things.