Monday, 19 July 2010
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Is There REALLY Someone Out There for Everyone?
I admire people who have the strength and patience to endure the Ultimate Test of Time.
The Test is whether or not a person can keep believing in him/herself and love right up until s/he finds the love of his/her life. Perhaps even multiple times.
My mother and father divorced when I was merely 3 years old, and this was because they admitted that they didn't love each other. After they separated and my mother took me and my sister to Colorado (while my dad remained in Arizona), I often wondered why they didn't just tough it out and stay together for my sake and my sister's sake.
I asked my mother and she simply told me "It was only a matter of time before we got divorced, honey, you'll understand when you are much older..."
Only time can make things happen because they don't just happen over night. A year later after the divorce, my mom met a guy named Clinton and they started dating. Soon they started a relationship with each other. He was a really cool dude. Actually, they were married for 10 years after that.
But of course, not all awesome things last forever- 5 months before their 12th anniversary, Clinton drowned in a lake on Father's Day with my mother as a witness. I don't think I've ever experienced such a heartbreak as that one was.
It's been 3 years since his death, and my mother has never been so patient. She has endured not having her true love sleep by her in their bed for 1,095 days now, nor has she been able to hug or kiss him. I gaze at her face everyday and wonder what her thoughts are centered around.
She is still taking the test of time, and waiting for another true love to find her. When I think nostalgically about lost relationships with exes, it's nothing compared to what my mother is experiencing every day.
So I guess this is more of a contribution to people who have and are taking the Test of Time. You know somebody loves you.
Do you believe there's someone out there for everyone?
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- From: Shayla
- Name: Shayla
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- About Me: I consider myself wonderful and optimistic. I Always keep my issues to myself and handle them so I'm not pushing them toward my family or friends (that's just not nice). I adore turtles and bunnies and I love companionship.
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Comments (92)
Yes, I do. There's multiple people out there for everyone. I almost gave up looking for the "one". I actually did and all of sudden this man walks into my life when I get hired at a new job, and that was it. The best thing to do is just live life, the right person will come along sooner or later, just don't think about it and have fun with life. :)
@CreativeBoho@xanga said it best, I completely agree.
@CreativeBoho@xanga - Well said.
There definitely is someone out there for everyone. I don't always believe there is more than one person but if you have truly loved someone, than you have found that person and no matter what, you'll always carry that love with you. Your mother sounds like such a strong person, and I bet carrying that love and knowing she had those twelve wonderful years with him are what help keep her going.
If you believe the Bible, then yes. But I think even if you don't believe the Bible, the answer is still yes. I think most people don't find that person because they are looking too hard. They look so hard that they don't see what's right in front of them. You have to know where to look and what to look for in that significant other. What do you want in a significant other? Where are you going in your life? What are your goals/dreams? Do you want to be a stay at home mother? Or do you want to be a mom and have a career? Or not have children? These are all things to think about before you are even ready to be with that one special person. You have to first be confident in who you are and know what you want and be secure in just being yourself before you can be ready to share your life with someone. And when you do find that person, they have to be in agreement with all those things, they have to want those things for their life as well. You both must be going in the same direction. I always use the analogy of a horse drawn carriage - being pulled by two horses. Well, if each horse suddenly decided to go their own way - opposite ways - then that would be a disaster. It's the same way in a relationship, how can it ever move forward if you are each going in the opposite direction? Sorry for the rant, but this is just something I'm passionate about :)
Rage For Love
I believe there is someone out there for everyone... but I don't think we all just have ONE person. For example: I fall in love and marry my "soul mate" and 15 years down the road he passes away. Then about 3 years later, someone comes along and steals my heart again. Of course, it isn't the SAME love I had for my first husband, but he fits me as well.
I kinda believe that you can have multiple soul mates, but I'd like to think there is that ULTIMATE soul mate. Technically yes... I do believe there is someone for everyone.
I believe so. Many of the people who say there isn't such a thing simply haven't waited long enough.
No there isn't. It is wishful thinking. Most people will be compatible with many others since there are so many people so chances are good for most of us. But it is a complete lie to say that someone with severe birth defects and down syndrome has someone out there for them. I think it is mean and cruel to lie to them like that.
I don't know if "the one" exists for everyone. After all, some people live their whole lives not finding that one person. I do believe everything happens for a reason, though, and if "the one" exists for you, and you're meant to find them, then you will. This may sound cheesy, but I think it's one of those things that you can sense. Like you can feel if there really is someone out there for you. It's just like thinking about what you're really meant to do in life, if you're meant to have children, etc. You just have this feeling. You just know. I know that there is someone for me, but I also know that it'll be a while before I find that person. This may sound weird, but that's basically what I believe in.
@Nominatim@xanga - I think you have a fair point, but it's possible that this person for them isn't necessarily someone romantic who loves them unconditionally. It could just be a friend who will never leave their side and always be there for them, and that could be enough.
No. I don't. I believe that there are some people in this world who just aren't meant to get married.
And the whole divorce thing. Love isn't something you fall in and out of. It's a choice. And when you make those vows on your wedding day it's a choice for life. Not just a choice until you don't feel like loving that person anymore.
i hope so, or i'm fucked.
Love is just nature's trick to get you to reproduce. I wish people would see 'love' for what it really is... damn romantics; you all make me sick to my stomache.
@sugar_mama@xanga - Bleh, the "soulmate" term. It's just a word that is used by people who are more in love with love itself instead of another person.
no. i think its more... if a person is open and takes care of themself and works for it- they will probably have a good handful or more... we have lots of potential soulmates. but whether they are 'the one' is all about circumstance, chemistry, lifestyles, goals... lots of things.... and some people can be magic. but there isn't just one, there may just be 'the one' whos perfect for you for the time, or maybe your entire life..
There are some people who are perfectly content being alone.
But for those who aren't, there will be at least one person out of the tens of thousands of people they interact with who are equally discontent with being alone and happen to be compatible with you. You just have to keep your mind and your heart open for them.
My longtime girlfriend and I broke up recently because I'm leaving for college; we both knew that despite the fact that we loved each other, our differences made us incompatible for the long term and we needed to find other people to love and be loved by as we took different paths down life. We both told each other that we looked forward to the day that we met each other's future husband/wife, because they would be lucky people indeed.
You'll find someone. Just keep searching.
(read more about it at my blog :D)
John
No I don't. Why should there be. If there was then that means Mother Earth has a partner which means we are not alone...(although does Father Time count?)
Yes I do believe it.
Statistically, there should be. Besides, it depends on how you define "The One". I define it as the person you fit with best. So by my definition, there has to be someone out there. It doesn't mean perfect, just best.
But, if your question is, will you ever FIND "The One" then that's another story. I believe most people who stay together for a long time, like the whole lifetime, are couples who found pretty good matches. Maybe not perfect, but good.
There are exactly 5.95 soul mates per person. There are exactly 25.3 compatible
people per person and 19.0 people with commonalities and chemistry with you.
Finding them depends on what you search with. Your mind will bring you what
everyone else wants for you. Your body will bring what makes you and only feel
good. Your heart will bring you connection but with an attempt to control but
your soul will find you someone to change the world with.
I honestly believe this.
what a heart breaking story -- I think that it is especially interesting because she had obviously loved before (your father) but this love-- was much deeper or more profound.
this is just one of those things that is beyond human understanding; but theres a meaning by why everything happens - just by god. Maybe in a few years, she will recover from her mourning period and be ready to be loved again
I think there is a certain person you can click with at different points in your life. So if you count, there will be several "the ones" throughout your life.
You just have to keep your eyes open and know when to take the opportunity.
I don't think so. I've been single the last twenty years and it doesn't look like its about to change anytime soon. If I can't even get a date, or a boyfriend, whats the chance of ever actually meeting the one? (and yes I am twenty... if I was in my forties this would be really sad, because deep down, I hope I'm wrong.)
I have to.
Yeah.... No. I don't have any reason to believe this shit. Marriage is an outdated business deal.