Days turn into weeks turn into months of fighting, and instead of thinking how to win the next argument, all you wonder is when it's all going to stop. And slowly, as your desire for peace grows and the fights still persist to rule your conversations, the only means to reaching a peace settlement seems to be to break up.
This may make sense to a lot of you who have been in relationships that eventually led to wars and then to breakups. Of course, everyone can suggest to just not fight at all, but hey, we're human, prideful, stubborn, and if American, always right.
But not every single relationship that experiences the normal spurts of arguments--and even those that are filled with more frequent fighting--end in breakup, divorce, or separation. So a girl has to wonder how she's to know if the end has come, or if she should keep fighting for the relationship to end all the fighting.
After being apart from my boyfriend for a year while I was in Paris, I thought that everything would be peachy and romantic once we were reunited. But the adjustment period that has taken up these first few months of the summer have been filled with nothing but arguments on end, complaints about each other, criticisms for each other's actions and character.
There were times, of course, when I thought that our relationship had come to an end, that it would be pointless to continue dating when all we did was hurt each other. But my boyfriend, bless his sane soul, reminded me soberly why we were dating, of the joys and fruits of our relationship.
There are still rocky days, and I'll wonder, every once in a while, what would let me know if the end has come to our relationship and how anyone really knows.
So what do you say? How do you know the end has come to a relationship? Is it always a clear sign or do your feelings just disappear one day?
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Comments (26)
when you're bored or when you can't bond anymore.
i think the end is when you just don't simply get along with them anymore.. who wants to have a relationship only full of fighting? i've seen a lot of people get so tired of it and just forget about the good times they had with the person, and their feelings disappear.
once you don't feel like bothering anymore, or when the other party doesn't.
Whenever the relationship is no longer balanced and/or a positive experience.
You feel that way because you don't feel as connected to the person anymore, which can happen if you guys didn't do a good job informing each other and staying intimate while apart.
I would suggest you try and give each other a chance before you throw in the towel. Do something fun together, look into each others eyes, tell each other a secret (something personal about yourself - basically opening yourself up to the other person again) and then stare at each others eyes again. If you feel like the spark is really gone, then decide to end it or something. But definitely give each other another try before calling it quits or u might regret it.
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I agree with most of the comments above....
When you start drooling over other girls or guys and know you could cheat. End the relationship asap
I always get this awful feeling in my gut. That kind of realization that things are never going to get better, there's nothing you can do, so you might as well end it.
When the fighting has dragged out and there's just nothing left to say at all. But that's if you're fighting... If you're not fighting at the relationship is just going it's tough.
I'd say when neither of you can come up with a substantial reason why'd you date them if they weren't your partner already. ie I'd ask you out because you're pretty cute and I can't believe you LOVE Freeziepop's just like me!
That's just an example but if there's nothing left for you two to get excited about eachother than there's nothing left in the relationship. (I think)
when I don't even feel like arguing anymore and just don't care enough because it is a lost cause.
When you start saying or doing things that you hope will hurt the other person, possibly enough to get them to break up with you. That's a big sign.
When one of you gives up on the other.
Every couple has doubts, that keeps the relationship in check and leads to growth. But when it just seems broken, and there's no way to fix it, and neither one wants to try.
When the relationship no longer benefits you or otherwise contributes to your health and happiness, it's time to go.
@NymphaeHecati@xanga - I agree 100%!! Very well said.
I could use this answer right about now. I feel like it's when you give up and you don't have the will to keep fighting for the other person anymore.
Sometimes there isn't a way to know. In some relationships there isn't any arguing or spiteful actions, they could just grow apart. It's really hard to know when to let go and move on sometimes. I guess when you realize this is when it's time to break it off.
@BoxesOfRoxes@xanga - I've never gotten a feeling like that... where does it come from, I wonder!
@lovezpassion@xanga - I think you put this so well, however simple it is..!
The end comes when you decide it does, like someone above has said. Do what you think would be the best for you. In the end, it's your own happiness you should search for, because only you have to live with every decision you make.
If you're asking what I think you are, then you're wondering when the end to a relationship has come instead of how to know when you should end it. In which case.. speaking only from personal experience.. its when, during one of those monster fights you get used to having all the time, you simply don't find yourself thinking "i wonder if he'll call" and no longer have that nagging urge to reach for the phone yourself.
:[ this is making me think...
i think its just when you dont WANT to deal with it anymore. the ends arent justifying the means
I could also, definitely use this answer. There's no fighting, or arguments. He loves me, I love him, but things going on in his life right now are causing me to get depressed, not see him often, and this has been making me very unhappy being with him...and I don't see these things changing any time soon. Honestly, he's perfect for me. But I feel like if I stay with him even while things are so hard then what's waiting for me after that? Did I never get to live and have all those experience other people had? Any advice here?
You know the end has come when you go back to the places the two of you frequent and you don't feel any sadness or miss him at all.
Just because you two fight all the time doesn't mean that it's time to call it quits. At the end of the day, it comes down to whether or not you can talk it out with your bf and if the two of you are willing to make compromises for each other. Even if you do break up and go into another relationship, if either one isn't willing to make compromises, the whole cycle will start over again but just with a different person. When it comes down to it, everyone is human and no one is perfect.
when there are way more fights.. not petty little fights but major ones.
lesser dates, your partner's more brutal in their words to you (if they havent alr been in some cases)
and lesser sex?
i dont know.
my last rs just ended because we both just "lost it"
i guess it differs.