This week's
Datingish Speaks deals with anniversaries. I've been dating my current boyfriend since January, but only until maybe two or three months ago did we start using the term boyfriend/girlfriend... it kinda came out of nowhere one day. He introduced me to his friend as his girlfriend Brittany and that was that. So now I'm thinking, when the hell is our anniversary and do I even care?
So I posed the question to the team: What is your stance on celebrating anniversaries? Do you mark the calendar month to month on a specific date, or is it more of a general, YAY we've been together for a year! Buy me something pretty!
Fiona (FionaMay): (Summon: Coldplay) I take it back to the start. It's not an anniversary at first - I can't exactly celebrate the first date I have with every date I ever meet (doing so would be a little bit pathological) - but once I'm official with someone, I think it's OK to think back on where it all began and celebrate it. So if you started going out in January, but weren't official until May, you celebrate your "5-month" anniversary in June (i.e. June marks the fifth). Your one-year is then in January. The dates are much easier to figure out, this way, too - the first time out was probably near other events that you remember dates of, and so the math goes.
Alexa (TheCatinTheCradle): Honestly, I only celebrate big anniversaries. The first six months, then every year (I'm obviously the "in it for the long haul" kind of girl). It drives me up a wall when girls update their Facebook every month to let us know how long they have been dating their SO (blah blah "I love Cody so much, happy 4 months, baby" etc). Seriously, no one else cares how long you have been dating, as long as they know you just are dating.
Anyway, the boy and I both know the specific date we embarked on our relationship-- which is impressive for me, because I can't remember any dates or birthdays-- but we don't limit ourselves to celebrating just on that day. When you are in an LD relationship you just have to accept that you will be a part even on dates that are supposed to matter, so we celebrate whenever we see each other again, but we also will send gifts to arrive around that date.
Madeleine (stateofhart): I've never been one to put too much emphasis on anniversaries. As far as month-by-month ones go, I usually just take note of the date as a small, personal milestone. Sometimes I'll mention them to my SO or vice versa, and we can share in the warm fuzzies together (ha, cuz who doesn't want that?) Just the other day, actually, I casually said to my SO, "Hey, we made it through our first tri-mester." Ha. That freaked him out for a second. I think annual anniversaries are a bigger deal, but expecting a celebration every month just seems a little unnecessary.
Michelle (MichelleNose): Because my boyfriend and I are always if not often away from each other, anniversaries have become significant in our minds, even if not in practice. We celebrate each month that we have together, hoping for many more. For our one year, he got us tickets to an off-Broadway show and had Brazilian BBQ. Maybe nothing TOO special, but we like to just remember that we are both lucky to have each other every single passing month :)
What is your deal with anniversaries?
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Comments (12)
Unless it's one year and above, I don't celebrate it. I already know the date because it's the time that a particular game came out..lol , nerds we are. 3/ 9/10 ; my bf is the one that keep track. I don't really so much but hell, I'm happy to be with him =) I treasure every moment with him..hahaha
I like to keep track, that way if someone asks how long we have been together I know how many months its been. We don't really celebrate though. Well, we used our 6 month as an excuse to go to get dressed up, but that was it. I'm sure that we'll celebrate the one year though if either of us has money for it.
I keep track of them. We did monthly for the first year, then a year and a half, then two years, and we haven't really done anything since. After two years we got shaky because we went to college, so we dated on and off. We don't celebrate anymore though.
I'll admit I'm sentimental & I remember the dates of little things. Not all guys do but at the very least, they should know the anniversary of when they met & birthdays. It shows you care about the person & value their relationship.
Today is my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he's doing everything he can to disappoint. Weeks ago, I asked him if he would just plan something for today. Something simple, something fun, and just let me know when to be ready. This, because he isn't very good at planning ahead, and I often feel like an afterthought.
So he still didn't have a plan, as of yesterday, and I got upset. Eventually, I calmed down, and since he's had about 2hrs of sleep every night due to work, he asked me to help. Essentially, it turned into me planning everything. I got over it soon enough, swallowed my pride, and set to plan a simple dinner on the beach, and he says he will pick me up at 5:15.
It's now 5:40. He just called and left a voicemail saying he's jumping in the shower now and will be over after that.
I'm so sick of it. It's an anniversary, it's not an official holiday, and we aren't married, but I just wanted to celebrate with him, and it doesn't seem like he cares.
@ELIZerson@xanga - omg this reminds me of my exbf during v-day :( our first. sigh. he wanted me to plan everyting. i didnt. and guess wat? he didnt either. it was the worst v-day EVER. especially since when i passed him his gift he said' oh no, now i have get u smt'. i think, in my opinon, you should tell him how u feel about him not doing anyting and how it makes u seem like he doesnt care... justlet him know kinda thing
My ex boyfriend didn't even remember our one-year anniversary. I told him a week later and he was like, "Whaat? Really?" I just brushed it off and felt like it was okay because I didn't believe that I deserved anything special, I was just thankful he was kind enough to be with me for a full year.
With my current boyfriend, in about 9 days, we will have been together a year. I'm kind of scared. I'm pretty sure he remembers, I reminded him a few weeks ago, but he IS a guy. I'm not even asking that we do anything, I just want him to remember. :/
It's hard to track when we became a couple. We are also a very private couple so we haven't really introduced each other to anyone. But he likes to say, "Well, I was pretty sure I liked you from the day I met you." So that's the beginning from his perspective. We don't put alot of emphasis on exact dates but there are many significant places in the city that are hallmarks of our relationship, so every once in a while we will go to one of these places. One of them is a Panda Express restaurant across the street from the grocery store we both used to work (and where we met).
My girlfriend and I had a similar problem of not knowing when our actual anniversary was since we started to date, and one day we magically became boyfriend and girlfriend. So a month before our 6 month anniversary we decided to choose a date. We came up with the 25 of every month would work best for both of us. Maybe you and your S.O. can work together in figuring a date both of you like. It was a really fun activity and I would recommend every couple who is a little fuzzy on their anniversary date to try this method :)!
Ha I actually was able to go back and find out when he asked me because I happened to blog about it on the night he first kissed me. (: We've been together six months and because I see him all the time, our monthly things kinda turned into "well, I'm definitely seeing you that day... dinner, maybe?" It's casual, but it's fun, and I like that we're both sort of into it. It's not really a big deal to me though. The time is what's important, not how you mark its passing.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - I resent that kind of thought "but he IS a guy." I know I'm in the minority here of hopeless romantics, but I can't forget our anniversary. While I did pick an easy date (14th, like Valentine's Day) to remember, I also remember our first kiss and other little things too.
@heladocontenedor@xanga - Well, that's good, don't ever stop being that way. I thought movies had caused me to expect too much from the male species, so I underestimate them, that way I'm not as disappointed. No guy has ever done anything "romantic" for me, although I did get candy for our one-year anniversary *wootwoot*. I realize that sounds like sarcasm, but I really did appreciate that candy.