Saturday, 17 July 2010
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Our SO's And Their Siblings: Love 'em Or Hate 'em?
From the very beginning of dating my bf and bringing him home to my mother...a rather weird side effect happened. My little brother of only 12 wanted to know about him and thus since more contacts, he's always trying to bond with my bf. (I find it cute and endearing.)
He's always trying to have sword fights and wrestle, among other things with my bf. And I take this for a very good sign as it means that my little brother accepts my bf and it will make it easier when my bf is integrated into the family in the later future. I just think my little brother will have a real male figure to look up to now because we, as siblings didn't have a good father in our lives and any males that offer some lovingly and caring support does some good, especially for my little brother. He's at that age when he needs it.
Yet this never happened with my other boyfriends, so it's a big thing in recent memory for myself. A cause for some celebration...in a small way.
I, on the other hand don't get along with my bf's younger sister due to different attitudes and personality style and other factors I won't get into here. His younger brother, I hardly talk to. He's light years from me as he has his own family and doesn't have to really worry about anything.
But I ask, how important is it for your siblings to get along with your current SO? Has your siblings ever hated your SO?
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- From: Hinase@xanga
- About Me: I'm just a weird, crazy and creative person to the max ;P
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Comments (31)
I don't have any siblings, but my boyfriend has 2 sisters (one whose 9, the other 25- big age differences). I love his sisters, they are amazing. I'm very close to his youngest sister, and she loves me. It's great.
my siblings have never liked any of my boyfriends. i've never been much of a family person, so i guess it's not really surprising considering they/we never really spent any time together. the only boyfriend's sibling i've ever really gotten along or had any notable relationship with was because we worked at the same place and so did his brother. i think i'm just bad at understanding the dynamics of a significant other/partner's sibling relationship.
I LOVE my boyfriend's sister. She's 18, so two years younger than us. But she's so silly and quirky. She's also a very good painter.
I think it's awesome when the two families get along. Our little sisters have been best friends since long before we started dating. So, I'm just another family member to them, and he's just a big brother for my sister. It's kind of a fun balance--no special treatment, but part of the family.
My whole family loves my BF and his family loves me. All of us spend christmas together :D its awesome bc when we spend the holidays at our hometown we can be with our families and with each other at the same time.
my bf's brother is 12 too, and it means alot to me when he always includes me in things he wants to do or show me.
My brothers are like 25...so they have no reason to be negative towards my bf, and do like him. : )
If my siblings didn't like a guy, I'd take it as a sign something about him may not be completely right for me.
I'm 21. My boyfriend's sister is almost 6. She's adorable and she loves me. The only problem is that whenever I'm visiting his family, my boyfriend and I become her parents.
My brother (26) on the other-hand is indifferent to my boyfriend and just says cruel things about me having a boyfriend. My boyfriend has expressed to me a desire to hang out with him but my brother is too busy with his fiancee and her family to even tell him. I have tried to express interest in hanging out with my brother's fiancee but they are always with her family. It's ridiculous and I'm losing respect for my brother and his fiancee because of this.
It's very important for my SO to get along with my immediate family: parents, siblings. I mean, its red flags of they make no attempt at it, or they full out hate my family, esp. for no reason.
And its important for me to at least attempt to get along with their siblings, ya know? My ex hated my family & I hated hers, which was whatever cuz her family hated me to. RED FLAGS! she's my ex now hahaha.
But my current SO gets along with everyone so far, so good!
It's very important, seeing that it is a potential future spouse and family relations. You've heard of couples where the family hates the one SO and family ties have been cut or are dwindling. For me, coming from a Chinese household, we place family as a number one priority. We are very close knit.
I love my wife's younger sister in Korea dearly. She and her husband (not to mention Oma and Haymoni) have always been very loving to us both....
I would like my SO and siblings to get along. Maybe not be best friends (even though that might be nice, too), but at least not dislike each other. My brother has had two girlfriends (that I've met so far). One was nice, but seemed to know just how to make me feel like she thought I was from outer space (probably not intentionally, though.) The other one is someone I really like. From a sibling's point of view, it's a lot easier to be happy for your sibling if you like the person they are with. And I would want my siblings to be happy for me, not secretly wishing I'd break up with my SO already.
There is someone I think I may be interested in now, and he has 7 siblings. That could get interesting...
My little sister and my SOs little sister are actually born a day apart. They haven't hung out together yet, but I'm waiting for the day cause I know it'll be amazing. I think all of us actually get along pretty well with each other. His little sister and me are BFF, and him and my little brother talk about Mario all of the time. We're pretty much perfect. =]
My brothers hated my last boyfriend (with good reason) but my whole family loves my husband. His family, on the other hand, sucks. His sisters are bitches, his dad is rude, his step-dad is a jerk, and his mom is sweet but oblivious. I can't stand to be around them for more than a few hours at a time, and that's pushing it (with the exception of his mom).
What is SO?
@yudesc@xanga - Significant other.
My first bf didn't have any siblings, and we didn't date long enough for him to get to know mine. My second bf had a brother and a sister. She was pretty cold and didn't say hi to me, but we didn't hate each other. We just didn't give a shit. His brother, however, was really friendly and fun and made me feel like part of the family. My brother and my second bf got along just fine but weren't particularly close.
My SO and I moved in with his family one summer, as we met in FL at college and he's from MA; his older sister let us stay with her awhile, and she and I get along well. His little sister is like the good twin of my evil middle sister, so I love her for that lol. His brothers we don't see often, but the younger one did give me a friendly shoulder-nudge which I suppose equates to positive feelings. Of the options, I suppose I love more than hate my SO's siblings :)
My sisters are both younger, and as mentioned the middle one is the "bad girl" of the family who I don't get along with at all. We don't see her often, but she's nice enough to my SO when we do see her. My baby sister loves my SO in the best way, asks him for advice sometimes, sends him pics of my nephew on occasion, and even said once that she hopes she can find a guy as good as him for herself someday. So yeah, its half and half with my SO and my siblings, but I think the positive with my baby sis allowing him to play uncle to her son far outweighs my other sister's issues :)yup i htink itz v.important for my silbings to get along with him and likewise with me and his sibling(s)
Oddly enough every bf Ive ever had has always had just one younger brother and Ive always gotten along. Ive only had two though(one ex and my fiance) that have taken the time out to get to know my 6 siblings and liked them. My fiance now has had 6 brothers and sisters but since him and his brother are the youngest they both live at home and thus ive only gotten to know the younger brother. Im close to his family and hes getting closer to mine.
My brother [18] thinks my SO is great, and vice versa. Rest of my siblings haven't met him.
His only sister is the same age as I am, and doesn't live in the same city, we've only met three times but I think she's absolutely fantastic
My current boyfriend doesn't have any siblings but I have 3. My little brother also enjoys bonding with my boyfriend, but so does my boyfriend. I love it, its cute and I get to hang out with my little brother more than I did. The only problem is when it becomes too habitual, my ex-bf referred to my little brother as a cock block.
Anyway, I think sibling affection with a family's s/o is important but not imperative unless there's thoughts of marriage. My twinnie and older brother for example could care less about my boyfriend.
My bf was friends with my younger brother before he was with me - in fact, we met through my brother. They get along fine. My bf has 2 sisters, one older and one younger, though both are older than me. I get along fine with them. In fact, they've taken my side in arguments rather than my bf's. I just don't really like my bf's parents, and he doesn't like my mom.... Siblings, no problem. It's parents we have an issue with.
I love my boyfriend's siblings. His sister is 2 years older and his brother is 3 years younger. I hang out at their house with them even if my SO isn't home. I work with his brother and we play COD together almost every day. It's amazing. I love them so much.
@laytexduckie@xanga - agreed
My brother hasn't said much about my boyfriend. Granted he's only met him a couple of times, but I do know that my brother likes my boyfriend best out of the past ones I've had (um, the other two I've had - only one he's actually met).
As far as his family - the one ex wouldn't even introduce me to his family (I figured it out after I broke up with him), and the other was an only child, so it was an experience for me meeting his whole family. They are close. I've never met his brother (and not sure if/when I will) as he lives in another state and isn't as close to the family as the others.
I love his two sisters though. One is about 8 months older than me while the other is about 4-5 years younger than me. My boyfriend and I haven't been dating that long, and I usually see his family every other weekend. His sisters include me, and I think they're great. I could see me possibly getting closer to them the longer my boyfriend and I date. I still have to get over a lot of my shyness. But from what he says, they like me, so... yeah.