Thursday, 15 July 2010
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An Oral Situation
Well, geez, oral sex is just awkward to me, both giving and receiving. The strange thing is I would rather receive than give; I've just never been comfortable giving. Before anyone boo's me, hear me out:#1- I am a tiny person in general. Hell my tongue is only 3.5 inches before it goes into the back of my throat where my uvula stands in the way of the rest.
#2- I have the worst gag reflex. 'Nuff said. I never want to put myself or my boyfriend in that awful situation.
#3- Guys pee standing up, when they're done I assume they just "shake it off" and then hopefully wash their hands. When I think about what men and women going to the bathroom and then possibly giving/receiving oral, it actually seems really gross. I don't want that in my mouth, the place I chew food with to digest.
#4- Long story short, I was sexually assaulted by one of my mother's ex boyfriend's and he actually bit my vagina near the clitoris and made me bleed. I know it's gross and probably crude to mention, but I was traumatized from it. And I had to get a skin graph to patch up "down there" and it looks different now. So I'm a bit shy about it.
I have 2 ex's and I've never performed oral sex on either because of my reasons listed above.
Well, the first one, David, attempted to talk me into it and I just refused- what can I say? I was 15 and a nervous wreck, not to mention a virgin. He said he didn't mind and dropped the idea. My second boyfriend, Trevor, had apparently been quite experienced with oral sex. He often bragged about girls who "begged for more" when he would perform, and he also enjoyed getting head. It didn't bother me as much until I thought how he wasn't getting any of that type of action from me. I tried to perform oral on him, but I chickened out. It just didn't feel right, and I'm glad I didn't- he stopped talking to me after the first time we had sex, so I was basically used.
Now I'm with Christian, who is a big sweetheart and we haven't had sex yet (we haven't really had the chance to, I've been gone for 2 months but it's helped strengthen our relationship in a way). He said he wanted to wait, but that didn't make him any less sexual. He started talking to me about how he wants to pleasure me with oral, because he believes that the ladies come first. This immediately made me explain, once again, why I wasn't comfortable with it.
Well, he told me (and my ex's never said this before) that he was perfectly okay with it. "I'll love it either way. "Anything that's apart of your body, I will always cherish" are his exact words. Awww. He told me that he preferred me not to perform oral on him, which surprised me because he is the only guy I've met so far who has rejected getting head. It's really weird, but I think it's sweet.
Does anyone else have a problem giving oral? How do you feel about it?
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- From: Shayla
- Name: Shayla
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- About Me: I consider myself wonderful and optimistic. I Always keep my issues to myself and handle them so I'm not pushing them toward my family or friends (that's just not nice). I adore turtles and bunnies and I love companionship.
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Comments (140)
im open to it, i like recieving.. and every guy ive been with likes it. so i do. im just not super good yet so am hesitant lol.. but i explain it and the guys never mind and the skill will come with practice
Aw, if you dont want to do it because your not comfy than your boyfriend should accept it. No matter what. If he doesnt than he's not worth it!
Everyone who has premarital sex, sleeps around, and does all the sick variations should be destroyed.
from a frustrated, raging virgin.
Good day.
Awww (:
Actually the guy I lost my virginity to (who I was with nearly 2 years) didn't like head, and never let me do it.. Maybe he had bad experiences he didn't wanna tell me about.. Hmm..
I've never really met anyone who was comfortable with it immediately. A lot of girls, especially virgin girls, don't exactly jump at the chance to have a dick in their mouth. It's not the most comfortable position for either partner, but when done right, it's a selfless act of intimacy, with one partner pleasing the other without receiving mutual pleasure.
@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - Yes! :D Go you ^.^
I'm the exact same way. I tried giving my SO head once, and it lasted for all of 3 inches seconds before my gag reflexes kicked in. He tried going down on me once, and then realized it was dark, we were outside, and his parents would probably be coming out soon, and he had no idea what he as doing. Haha. I have to agree though. I'm much more open to receiving than giving. I don't really know why.
never received. *I think* I have an unattractive vagina (if that's possible at all, sorry if that's like really gross or weird to anyone or anything) I don't know, I just feel like I would be way too nervous with that happening.
I don't have a problem giving though. It's my favourite! I was SOOO scared to do it for the first time, though. I only did it because I actually really liked the person and wanted to make them happy; but not in a negative way where I was pressured into doing the service for them, you know? I had had a couple boyfriends I had been close with and always been pressured, but I never want to do anything I don't feel comfortable doing. If the guy doesn't understand that, fuck him, especially when you're young and doing things for the first time. If he wants to keep you, he will let you gain the courage to perform in your own time. If you care a lot about him, you'll find yourself wanting to do it :)
I don't really like oral.
That's about it.@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - Wow. That was kinda harsh. I mean, it's cool that you have an opinion and you are passionate about it, but do you really have to be so mean as to say that *everyone* should be destroyed who has premarital sex? Does that automatically make people evil/bad or something?
Take it or leave it, its all sex and ends the same way. I do agree with you, I'm a little apprehensive due to hygiene and past partners (going down on a girl is the equivalent of going down on her last partner). However, when the time and person are right it will take place.
@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - Hahahahahah.
i think it's great he isn't pressuring you to do anything you don't want! i wasn't comfortable about giving it for a long time, but, well, practice makes perfect. also, i am completely in love with my guy and finally truly comfortable with my body and having sex. it also took me a long time to be ok with receiving oral, but now i want it all the time.
I got over my apprehension about giving oral..or receiving it. It just takes some time getting used to and you have to be real comfortable with yourself also. That's a plus.
I'm glad you brought this up. The first time I got heavily involved with a guy, we had talked about these types of things, ruling out intercourse because I knew I wasn't ready for it. He had performed oral on me twice before I asked to return the favor the night of the second time. To my surprise, he declined, just like your boyfriend. I really wanted to though, so after a little bit of prodding he let me, but not for that long. After asking further I could tell that it was something he really preferred me not to do. I thought it was sweet but I wondered why he was so against it, when he was willing to go down on me.
Anyway, I understand your concerns. When I'm sexually active again I want to make sure everything is clean before they're dirtied up again!
I'm just lazy... my boyfriend loves it, but I only seldom really WANT to give it. I have no qualms or uncomfortable feelings about it, though. It's just a lot of work, lol.
I don't mind taking control during intercourse, though. :]
@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - Nice!
i don't mind being on either end. i actually like it. though i won't swallow. i'll spit it out.
I have an entire standup comedy routine on oral sex. I'd make some of the lewd comments from my act here, but since I'm in a competition in a week I'm afraid of someone finding it and I don't want to be caught "plagiarizing myself."
I wasn't a big fan of it first but I got used and comfortable with it. I don't do it all the time, but only when the moment is right - and if I feel like giving it. :)
I think it's fine that you rather receive than give. People should understand and accept it because if you ain't feeling it and they are trying to talk you into it, it won't be a good ride, anyways.
Oral's fantastic. I prefer giving to receiving. ;)
(Then again, I'm a big fan of sex altogether, so I'm biased. Ahem.)
I have no problem giving it or receiving it. I feel it is a natural part of the experience of sex. Things start out slower and build themselves up. Its all about the tension and release. Oral sex is part of that process.
I'm sorry to hear about your past experience with your mother's ex. That is horrible. An ex girl friend of mine had a torn labia and it never bothered me...I dont think any of her other ex's cared either.
What's most important is that you do not let your insecurities hinder the potential you have to feel something wonerful. All things will come with time.
@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - this.
...Yeah, uh, I don't think I have this problem, barring practice with complex yoga?
(Though given my mild neurotic tendencies, the concept of getting my mouth dirty is...well, I can't handle it mentally.)
@FunerealOwlblood@xanga - You must be soooo proud of yourself! :D You flaunt that virginity, girl! Work it! But not too hard! Don't wanna lose it! Then you might be a slut that deserves to be destroyed right off of this earth!! :O