Ahhh Wedding Season. The glorious season of big white dresses, gorgeous flowers, delicious cake and the unity of two people that love each other. Weddings are amazing. I love almost every single detail of a wedding. I love the flowers, the color schemes, the food, where the reception is held. But most of all I love the way the bride looks right before she is going to walk down the isle and the light is shining right behind her and the look on the groom's face when those doors open. It's all incredible and beautiful.
However, I also hate weddings. I hate what happens before the bride and groom walk down the isle. Before the bride and groom get hitched, they go through hell.
Well, a lot of brides and groom's go through hell. Soon to be brides turn into Bridezillas and their grooms believe it or not turn into Groomzillas. Everyone knows the Bridezilla is a bride that wants everything to be perfect. Every single task is easy. A bridezilla thinks a 3 tier cake with tons of piping and 3 different flavors is the easiest thing in the world. She also thinks that making floral arrangements for the church, reception hall, cocktail room, bride, and bridesmaids is simple. Bridezilla is basically crazy. And Groomzilla is the type of groom that tells his crazy bride that he doesn't care what she does and she can make all the decisions as long as she's happy. She can make all the decisions? Are you nuts? The least you could do is sit down and help the bride. She might say "I don't need your help," but she actually does. She just doesn't want to bother you because she thinks asking you to pick flowers with her will break your arms or something.
I hate the fact that some grooms just don't care. I don't like that sometimes the bride doesn't allow the grooms family to participate in some of the planning because clearly it is their son that she is going to marry. I dislike how crazy a bride can get because she thinks everything is so simple. I also hate it when a Maid of Honor doesn't know how to be a Maid of Honor. For gods sake, you're her best friend or sister or cousin or whatever, but you should know her from head to toe so it shouldn't be that hard to a damn Maid of Honor. I also really hate it when the mom of the bride makes the wedding all about herself. Helloooo, it's your daughters big day not yours! And I also very much dislike serious family drama that causes the family to hate one another during the planning and the wedding day itself.
For some people planning a wedding brings the worst out in families. For example, when my cousin Patty was planning her wedding between 2005 and 2007 there were so many family problems that it broke my cousin down. Her mothers side of the family decided to go over her house as much as possible and rearrange her seating arrangements so they wouldn't sit next to people they didn't like. And the second my cousin told them what color the bridesmaid dresses were going to be, it was hell. They didn't like her dress because it was strapless and too revealing. They didn't like where the reception was being held. They didn't like anything. Finally the day of my cousins wedding arrives and it is going smoothly. It was beautiful and amazing. And when I and the rest of the bridesmaids arrived at the location the reception was being held, we noticed that my cousins party was downgraded to one of the smallest rooms because instead of having 125 guests, my cousin had 90 guests. Thirty-five guests didn't show up because there were family problems. Her own godfather didn't show up because he refused to sit anything closer than 20ft from his ex-wife.
Maybe not all families are like this. Some families just agree with everything so the planning could go smoothly and so the day could so smoothly. They agree with everything to keep everyone happy and if someone isn't happy then they could shove it! But I have been to my fair share of weddings and there has always been a pile of family problems. Whether it be that the family doesn't agree with anything or that distant family has nowhere to stay or maybe that the grooms family feels like they have no say in the wedding. Either way, there is always wedding drama. And even though I absolutely love weddings from start to finish, there are always those times where I just want to tell the people causing the problems to shut the hell up and go plan their own wedding.
So my fellow Datingish readers, what do you love and/or hate about weddings?
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Comments (17)
We haven't really had that problem with planning our wedding. The main conflicts were all at the beginning (originally we didn't want a Catholic wedding, but we compromised with some Catholic elements, for his parents.) After that, it's just been a matter of keeping on top of our timeline.
What I love about my upcoming wedding is doing the planning myself & above all else the fact that I was lucky enough to have found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Everything else I basically hate. I hate having my mother involved because like you mentioned she thinks for some reason it should all be about her. I hate that my parents just finalized their divorce last year and don't get along, so that causes lots of fun drama. I hate that people expect to have a say over the wedding, such as my family and his family, yet we're the ones paying for it not them. I hate the fact that I have to invite over a hundred people when all I wanted was a small wedding. I hate the fact that etiquette is supposed to play such a large role. Why can't I send the invitations out early when it is convenient for me, not at a predetermined time that is going to have me in finals at grad school. Why can't I have people RSVP online when I know they all have the internet since I get bombarded with Farmville requests all the time. I could go on and on. (I apologize for my rant, I'm kind of PMSing today)
Overall the thing I hate the most is that it seems like everyone wants us to know how they want it and don't really like what my fiancé or myself want.
the apostrophe in 'em is in the wrong place.
i love weddings because they're so beautiful and even if someone thinks it's all not going to go the way they planned it, it's usually smooth. i don't like them because if you know the bride or the groom or both and you're single, the relatives always come and ask you when your turn will be.
I wouldn't know. I've only been to 3 weddings in my life. Relatives are very far away, I'm the oldest in my family...yeah. All 3 weddings I was just a mere guest and I knew them as a friend in college and/or through my boyfriend. Most recent one I attended was very laid back, since the groom is in the military and is being shipped off to Afghanistan soon. Had a simple ceremony in a pretty park, then later in the day went to the courthouse to make it official.
I know I want a nice wedding. It will be small (family and friends). It will be outside. And I know it will celebrate the love and friendship my boyfriend and I have. And I'm sure we'll both try our hardest to fend off our families wanting a say in our wedding.
I'm threatening elopement if family and friends get batshit crazy and try to take over my wedding. If myself and my husband are the ones having to pay for the wedding and reception, such as seating arrangements and color schemes and letting family tiffs get the best of them then I'm done. I'm all for having help but the wedding day is about mine and my husband's happiness, not everyone elses.
Shoot, I sound like I might be a bit of a Bridezilla when the day comes. Now *I'm* scared.
I was too young to remember the wedding that I've been to in the past, but I recently attended my cousin's wedding. I like how the Bride and Groom sparkles with happiness while getting married and how a lot of people gather to celebrate their joyous moment. However, the preparation for the wedding was a big headache. I wasn't even part of it, but hearing them talk about it made it sound tiresome. Also, I took part in the ceremony and it was long and exhausting. Since it was a Cambodian wedding, it was very different. I woke up at 3:30AM for hair and makeup because I was a flower carrier and didn't get to eat until around noon. It was hot, but I felt really sorry for the bride, the groom and their parents because they were the main characters, I knew they were exhausted, but had to continue with the wedding. After the ceremony, the bride and groom would have to prepare for the wedding dinner, so they hardly get to rest. So I dislike the amount of work and stress involved in a wedding. However, at the end of the day, when everything is over with, they get to rest. I like the ending of a wedding because it means, their future together is just starting ^.^
I love weddings! Yep, I'm a hopeless romantic. I love ceremonies and the pretty details (dresses, flowers, decorations, personal touches). The only thing I would have changed from my wedding is less MAIDZILLAS. Geez, if these girls had to share a hotel room for the evening, surely they would have come out hobbling, hair amuss and missing teeth. I made everything simple for them: GET A DRESS, SHOW UP ON TIME AND STAND UP AT THE ALTAR WITH ME. That's it! I did the invites, placecards and other DIY projects. Bought them jewelry, shoes and lovely bridesmaids gifts but all they could do is argue. Another thing I hate is all the "help" you get while you're planning. Everyone offers to go with you, give their advice, etc but when it came down to it (and I didn't hardly need any help), none of them could help. I went on my merry way, met with the coordinator (day-of only) and let them duke it out.
@looloo11268@xanga - You sound perfectly reasonable with your requests, especially since you and your soon-to-be husband are paying for it. When someone offers you their advice, take a minute to listen to it. If you like it, thank them. If not, just tell them you appreciate their input and will take it into consideration. Don't do anything you don't want to. Don't be afraid. Just remember your wedding is just one day. Your marriage is forever.
@Shy___Away@xanga - yeah the whole religion thing is a big deal with most couples. I was raised catholic. I went to Sunday School and church right after Sunday school. I went to church every holiday and blah blah blah. In Portugal we visit Our Lady of Fatima. It's a big deal to get married in a Catholic Church in my family. However, I have told everyone that when I get married I will not be getting married in any Church. I like the whole beach or park ceremony. It's really cute.
@itscatwithak@xanga - Oh i feel your pain on the divorce. My mom and dad have been divorced for about 5 years and some how we always talk about my future wedding and she used to tell me that if my dad walked me down the isle then she wouldn't attend the wedding. She thought it was disrespectful because she has been raising me and my two brothers alone for the past 5 years. But she finally got over it. And she's very bitter towards my step-mom and expects me to not invite her but i can't do that cause well, she's my step-mom.
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - yeah well it doesn't have to be precise. thanks.
and to everyone else, thank you for adding onto the list of hates and loves. i know exactly how it is and it can get so annoying.
I think Weddings are more of a cultural thing then about Love.
I love weddings that are sincere, when it seems like it's just a big production filled with people who mean nothing (acquaintances) it doesn't really fit with what a wedding is supposed to be. It's a union of two souls, it's a beautiful amazing thing. I loved my wedding because it was the day I became my husband's wife.
But I hate the fact that women throw fits like they're undisciplined two year olds. Bridezilla-that's just putting a cutesy name on something incredibly distasteful and ridiculous. I say to any man if you propose and it turns your bride-to-be into a psycho take it as an example of what your marriage will be and RUN THE OTHER WAY. There's no excuse to act that spoiled and ridiculous.
Getting married is supposed to be an extremely emotional/spiritual amazing thing, a union of two souls forever, a profession of undying love and you're crying about tablecloths? Give me a freaking break!
@twenty_twenty_surgery - Ya when I first got engaged I got to deal with my mom saying she wouldn't come to the wedding if my dad was there. Now she's upset I'm inviting my aunts from his side & the fact that I'm going to have him walk me down the isle. She keeps saying how you don't have the father do it anymore that's just tradition, so I'm pushing that we are following traditions so I don't have to deal with her about it. We still have 10 months till the wedding so I'm sure more will come up before then. She has a boyfriend now so I'm sure that will come into play at some point. Oh the joys of having a parent decide they want to be young again & in turn act like a four year old.
@itscatwithak@xanga - Haaaa same thing with my mom. She doesn't want my dads side of the family there but it's so wrong to not invite them. I'll invite them and if they don't want to come then fine but they will be invited. And i'm pretty sure most if not all fathers look forward to walking their daughters down the isle. It's just a great thing. My mom's best friends daughter got married last week and my mom's best friend has a new husband and wanted him to walk her down the isle because she refused to let her daughters real father do it. There were so many arguments over it. But the bride won and got her father to walk her down the isle. In the end it doesn't matter. The bride has to be happy and there's no point ruining her special day.
There isn't a single thing I dislike about my upcoming wedding.
We are having 14 guests to our civil ceremony in a hotel, followed by a meal at the same place and then back to our house.
My mum is helping by paying for the dresses and taking charge of the (single) table decoration, otherwise we are paying ourselves.
All we really want is to be husband and wife. None of the trappings really matter, when it comes down to it.
I've never been to a wedding in my adult life, which is unfortunate.
I think the biggest problem is that anyone thinks they NEED any of the floral arrangements or fancy cakes. It would be so simple if they'd just cut down on the crap.
@twenty_twenty_surgery - I say that if your mom says that, you tell her how unfair it is to force you into choosing. Tell her it's their problem and they need to sort it out themselves. Putting divorce issues into a marriage ceremony is just horrible for everyone! (Good luck with that when you do get married).