Tuesday, 06 July 2010
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Why Is The Word "Single" So Frowned Upon?
You look at the question and think to yourself, "Single isn't an option for me."I have to say that being single is an option -- Just like how you have the option on weather or not you want Chanel Boots or Jimmy Choo's. I believe in our society today that it is most common that you will hear your friends talking about there new relationships and how much it is effecting them and making them happy, but then they are so happy they end up single, and with someone else the next day. Everyone believes that being in a relationship is elegant, sophisticated , and most importantly perfect. Just like Cinderella and her happy ending, but that's just what everyone says.
How do we know that she didn't end up getting a divorce with prince charming because she then realized that being alone wasn't such a tragedy?
I wont lie, I myself can get tired of just having friends, me, myself, and I. Sometimes I just want an other, like anyone else. Having someone understand you and make you feel good. But it doesn't feel good when it's just something like wearing a sweater just because you know you have one and everyone else has one too. It can be good to be single it would almost be like finding yourself and just being happy with what you have. What's so wrong with that?
Do most of you feel like todays society make being in a relationship a need? Or is just me?
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- From: nightfall231@xanga
- Name: annonymous
- About Me: Hi im A... Im a person that is all for simplicity without it, i just fall apart a little inside, im usually not online, but usually when i am i must have something important to talk about. well at least to me it is, i hope you enjoy what i type, thank you:]
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Comments (41)
I've noticed it, too. Back when I was single, when people found out about it, they gave looks of pity. And when they learned I hadn't yet been kissed--well, that was such a shock. Doesn't *everyone* get kissed by the age of 17?
I wonder if it's a new thing. I don't think it is, actually. Thinking of, say, medieval times, I feel like it was expected to get married and people talked about you if you hadn't by a certain age.
Look at me! I'm all rebellious and independent! I can totally be on my own! I need no man to make me happy!
No shit Sherlock. Only the super crazy think we really NEED to be with someone. No one actually thinks being single is a horrible tragedy.
But I'm sure we all recognize that being with someone we love, especially one who loves us back, is at least a little bit nice.
I would LOVE to be single right now. I wish I could afford to be!
I think being single has such a bad rep not really because people dislike it for simply being what it is (Not dating someone) , but because when people think of being single they often think about what lead to them being single or they think because they're single they have to be lonely which isn't the case at all.
I'm happy either way really. Both have certain things about them I like and dislike. I like being able to go out and do what I want without worrying about a significant others feelings being hurt or feeling neglected. I don't care for the fact that when I am single however I constantly have people who feel the need to act like I must be flawed or that I'm weird because I don't want to jump into another relationship immediately.
On the other hand I also like being with a girl or guy. I like doing things to make them smile and spending time with them and knowing that I'm theirs and their mine. I love the petnames, the holding hands, the crazy feeling I get when I'm first falling in love with someone. I don't like the drama most relationships bring into my life the microscope over the smallest of details, the fact that when I am with another person people see it as a challenge to try to win me over which never works but makes things a lot more complicated and dramatic.
Both have their advantages and disadvantages, but I've come to realize while it would be nice to be with someone else for the rest of my life it would be just as nice to be single. Neither would keep me from the things I want in life. I plan to make a career in either photography or journalism and have a family. The latter at first glance may leave you thinking "But how do you expect to have a family if you're single?" That's quite simple since I'm a trans man I have no plans of having a baby the conventional way. I'm planning to adopt once my life is secure enough to give a child the best life they can have.
Yup....to me it seems like a "need" just cause the friends I hang out with are ALL coupled up and I always end up being a 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel etc etc. And it sorta gets repetitive each time we hang out. That and my friends are starting to question my sexual orientation hahaha!
But I've been single for a while (so I've had my share of single life already) before my last ex that I just broke up with, so I definitely want someone long term since I ain't getting any younger haha!
But to each their own, it also really depends on someone's age IMO.
Anyways take care!
@Wenglish@xanga - Wow that's nice of you. I'm sure your companion would appreciate how you truly feel of him.
People are biologically hardwired to seek mates. It's the same as the need to have friends. Nobody truly needs a relationship or friends to survive but it does drastically improve mental health.
I don't think our need of being in a relationship stems from society. I think the particular society of "dating" stems from our need to be in a relationship. No one wants to be alone. And everyone loves love, so that's just how it is. That's why dating gets so much attention- we love to see people happy and imagine ourselves happy in the same way.
totally agree... single status gives you more independence and you don't have to worry about choosing between your lifelong career and your SO... i want to get my shit together before i share my life with someone else...
Bah, I love being single. Just because you're single, doesn't mean you have to be alone.
I really think single has a lot better, more fun connotations in today's society. People ask those who are committed/married, "Why do you want to be tied down?" Single doesn't mean alone anymore. Welcome to the new single--it means independence and freedom, often with a jab to those who want to be with someone.
Hmm... I guess I'm totally oblivious to the social norms. I never knew being single was frowned upon. If anything, I get uncomfortable mentioning the word "boyfriend" if I have one. When I do have a boyfriend, not many people even know about it. Not to say that I've ever lied about it or am ashamed of it, I just don't find it a topic of conversation.
I don't prefer the 'single' or 'in a relationship' status over the other because they both have their perks and flaws. Whoever cares about someone else's love life obviously needs to work on their own. No one should sweat anyone else's opinions. Just do what makes you happy.
oh, singleness has its perks. :)
I love being in a relationship. We all need someone to love and someone to love us. What's so wrong with that?
@jenigrins@xanga - agreed!
i love being single! i can do what i want, when i want to instead of having to check in with someone else. i've never actually been in love so it might be different once i know what i'm missing
I think it's not so much society in general...rather your surroundings and your friends. One of my best friends has had a boyfriend for most of the time I've known her, and most of them were pretty long relationships. But she never rambled on and on about her SO or made me feel bad so I didn't really have any pressure. =P She had time to hang out with (just) me so I never felt like a third wheel or unwanted. The opposite of this is happening to another one of my friends, so I guess if that was the norm, I'd feel more pressure to always have a boyfriend too.
At this point, I've gotten to experience both single life and non-single life...and yeah, of course they both have benefits and downsides, but I'm hoping that the thought of revisiting the single life isn't that scary that I don't stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons. In the LONG run though? I hope I found my SO. :)
I personally enjoy having someone to share everything with, that has my complete trust and I have his. I honestly doubt that anyone over the age of 12 dates just because everyone else is doing it. Most people just want companionship and romance. It's a beautiful thing.
@unabridgedtales@xanga - I didn't have my first kiss til I was seventeen.
@insertcliche_sn_here@xanga - I'm banking that it would be different.
@Revolutionary22@xanga - I didn't either. I was almost eighteen, actually.
That was me failing at expressing sarcasm over the internet. xD
@unabridgedtales@xanga - its not really new.. i didnt have my first kiss until freshman year of college when i was 18 which was like OMGNOWAY to people. annoying but not much you can do about it.
@insertcliche_sn_here@xanga - Heh, yeah.
I had mine a month before high school graduation, when I entered my first relationship. For awhile it was OMGNOWAY, but now it's old news, since I'm in the longest-lasting relationship of my close friends.
"How do we know that she didn't end up getting a divorce with prince charming because she then realized that being alone wasn't such a tragedy? " --->lol, BeCaUse the story didn't tell us otherwise
Too each their own...if you want to be single, go for it. If you want to be in a relationship go for it. It's nobody's business but your own.
Getting married/having a romantic relationship is not only been a part of today's society, it's alway been a part of time.
single is alot easier .. i miss it xx
If it is frowned upon, which is up for debate in my view, it would be because culture puts a lot of emphasis on getting married and what not. Plus, we're always told (mostly indirectly via TV/movies/etc) that we'll be happier in a relationship. So, if we're not in one, people automatically assume that we're either unhappy or undateable.
Just kind of silly, really.
I love being with my boyfriend. I can survive without him, but I would be missing out.
I was fine before him, I know I could be fine without him.