I don't think it's fair to complain about his lack of affection at night, if he's affectionate during the day --cut the guy some slack, he's ASLEEP.  It's hard to undo sleeping habits, I wouldn't read too much into it. 

As for the sex, is he turning it down or just not initiating?  If it's the latter, why don't you initiate then?  You don't always have to wait til he starts it.  If it's the former, then just tell him how it makes you feel, and tell him you would like to have sex more often.  If he just can't get it up that often, I see nothing wrong with taking things into your own hands (literally) and masturbating. 

@Anonymous - Forgot to add I haven't had sex with my partner since May and it pisses me even more off that he's right here and it doesn't take much effort at all to see me.  11 days is nothing.

I don't think there's much you can do about the sleeping thing.  Like someone else said, he's sleeping, and sleeping habits are hard to break.  I'm the same way, I'll fall asleep with my girlfriend cuddled and everything, but once I'm out, I move to the edge of the bed and face down.  I can't stay asleep comfortably unless I'm in that same spot.  My girlfriend usually gets mad at it, but there really isn't anything that can be done about it.

Maybe he is addicted to porn or something that he's hiding from you. Maybe he has an on and off sort of addiction that explains the lack of sex and intimacy with his previous exes as well. I hear it's pretty common, the overuse of porn thing... Maybe he "doesn't need sex" because he's jacking off to it so often. Might be worth looking into, I dunno.

I suspect I have a higher sex drive than my husband. It does seem like I want it more often than he does. He's really quiet and laid back and while he does want sex, I'd like some sort of sexytime (not necessarily intercourse) every day at least and he is cool with maybe every other day or slightly less. We do all right, though, because he's happy to oblige or pleasure me when I tell him I need it.
Also, I am sorry to hear about his lack of coziness in bed. My husband is very snuggly (like you and your ex) and I love it. But then again, some people are the most affectionate in the world while awake and then they like to sleep with their backs to each other just because they find it more comfortable to have utter freedom of movement while at rest. My parents are that way. But it sounds like he's not that intimate most of the time, so, hmm. I hope you find out what's wrong! Good luck.

Hahahha, you think 11 days is horrible? Try 2 years. We had an amazing sex life for the first whole year we were dating, like 4 times a day and at least 3 days a week. He started this thing about feeling guilty and wanting to wait to have sex anymore until we're married. I mean, every now and then we do everything but sex, but he just doesn't want to actually do that. He has a long list of other reasons: I'm not on the pill, so he doesn't want any accidental pregnancy happening. Says the same thing about not needing it to keep a relationship going strong or whatever. I guess those are legit, I can agree with them .. but I still want sex :(
I totally want to marry him; we're talked about it. And part of me thinks when we do, sex will be normal and everything will be fine, no guilt. But then part of me thinks he's gone so long without it that it won't register has something important.

There's not really much you can do. I mean, you can voice your concerns, but you can't do that too much, or it'll sound like you're complaining. Just gotta get over it.

On the part about him sleeping away from you: I do that too, I actually push my boyfriend away from me sometimes, just because he loves to cuddle, but he puts out wayyy too much body heat, like a freaking werewolf (ooooh Jacob, yum). It's nice in the winter, but I get so hot during the night, plus I just really like a lot of space while I sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love to cuddle, but I just can't do it while I'm trying to sleep.

@HollowTendencies@xanga - same with me and my boyfriend - except I'm the fireball.. I like cuddling before we fall asleep, but when we're actually sleeping - don't touch me lol I just wanna sleep!

'Rape' him.. Jk.

@BlehhItsTu@xanga - haha! that sometimes work eh. it gets them going, so give it a try.

I have a higher one than my boyfriend for sure. Twice a week is my ideal sex life, but usually between once a week and once every two weeks. I can't imagine every day. He has sleep issues and gets stressed about work pretty easily. I'm starting to learn to let the sex issue go. He will come around when I don't think about it, for example this weekend he was on a trip whereas I had to work all weekend. He came back after about 4 days of not seeing me and was raring to go. So having alone time away from each other helps, as we live together. 

I've been having this same exact problem for MONTHS! we used to have sex a lot but now we rarely do....(we've been dating for almost 2 years btw) every time I bring it up he turns me down. occasionally he will say yes, but I feel like he's doing it just to make me happy. "I don't need sex to be happy" is his excuse also. but I do!! I want to be intimate and close and make each other feel good! when he turns me down I feel ugly and unwanted. he's my boyfriend, shouldn't he WANT to have sex with me? ugh. we never fight, but this is the only exception. we have yet to figure out a solution to this problem. I'm glad I'm not alone.

I had a higher sex drive than both of the guys I have really dated,.  The boyfriend I have now is 7 years older than me, and yes, we had more sex at the beginning of our relationship than we have now...  And while, every once in a while, it bothers me, I've learned to accept it as a fact of life.  As someone else suggested, maybe try to seduce him.  Dress up like a naughty nurse, buy some handcuffs and lock him (or yourself) up, or something else that you think will turn him on.