Wednesday, 30 June 2010
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Why, Exactly, Do Women Fake Orgasms...?
I can honestly say that I have only 'faked it' once. As it was one of the first few times I had ever had sex, I thought 'faking it' was something we women were just...supposed to do. Afterward, my SO thought he had just done an amazing job and promptly fell asleep, while I felt wide-awake and frustrated. All I could think about as I laid there the ENTIRE night was why I had just sabotaged my own sexual satisfaction, and what the hell did I really gain from it, anyway?
I hear left and right that most women fake orgasms, but I just do not understand it. Sex for me isn't a chore; it's fantastic, wonderful, artful, passionate, and (hopefully) pure bliss! Not to mention that it's a proven stress-reducer and makes me sleep like a baby afterward. Why on Earth would I not want to feel this way?!
Ladies, try taking some responsibility. If you have to fake an orgasm, you can only blame yourself. Instead of pretending that you're feeling fantastic, why not just make yourself feel fantastic, by taking some initiate. Help him help you. Try getting on top and being in charge of your own pleasure. Or if he just doesn't know how to push your buttons, try showing him just where they are. (Not only are you pretty much guaranteed to climax, but you're ensuring your 'little moment' for every sexual act after that. {Remember "If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime"..? It applies right here.} Not to mention the fact that he will absolutely LOVE it.)
Being honest about your sex life is the first step to improving it. But be gentle, because most men view sex as a literal performance, and nobody is really going to like hearing that they don't get you off. So instead of coming out and telling him that you're not satisfied, just try [discreetly] helping him out a little.
What about you, Datingish readers? Have you ever faked an orgasm? Why or why not?
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- From: MyMianaMania@xanga
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Comments (132)
To get him the fuck off of me so I can go back to sleep.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - Damn straight!
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - Beat me to it.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - exactly.
I've faked when I just couldn't take anymore and wanted it to end.
There's a reason I'm still with my boyfriend of three years :].
I have never ever faked an orgasm, thankfully. I thought about it though...the first boyfriend I had tried so hard to make me orgasm with sex and I just couldn't. I still never have been able to unless there was some other stimulation involved (like mouth or fingers). It's cool though, cuz I love sex, it's just a little bit tougher to make me go. A guy really has to know my spots, which is a good thing :)
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - i think you just about hit it right there .
& i don`t understand otherwise . you`re not doing anyone a favor , soooo . . . i can understand like ONCE , to get him off , but don`t do it over & over , cause you`ll be stuck in a pleasureless sexual relationship . seriously , the guy thinks he`s doing fantastic & he`ll keep doing it , he`s got no problem . so , there ya go :\
Because they think men actually care if they orgasm.
With my man now I have faked once or twice coz I wanted to go to sleep and he is obsessed with never finishing unless i have orgasmed multiple times. (I have no problem with orgasms so its not exaclty an issue for me to fake).
Faked it with other guys coz they placed so much importance on it. I didnt care but they were really upset that they hadnt made me come. So i faked to give them a confidence boost.
@Nominatim@xanga - guys i been with seemed to care! it was annoying they have an obsession with making sure i come.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - hahaha. yup. hit the nail right on the head.
The times I've faked were because I was over it, tired, clearly not going to get off during that round.
@Nominatim@xanga - Good call, man.
This title is such false advertisement. If you're going to put a question like this as your title, then bloody well answer it in the post.
@PsychoAnne@xanga - Honestly, it sounds like the men you were with have insecurities with their performance. Women aren't like men, they don't need to orgasm to enjoy sex. They either don't understand that or they are terrified they have an inadequate prick.
L M A O
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - Exactly. My husband is one of those guys who won't stop until I orgasm. Or he thinks I do. Usually I actually do so it isn't a big deal, but if I was never in the mood in the first place it doesn't matter how amazing he is, I won't orgasm, I'm just not into it, so obviously once he is happy I want it to end. It doesn't ruin anything in the long run because he is amazing and knows all the right buttons to push, but somedays it just isn't going to happen so I just pretend so I can get him the fuck off me so I can go back to sleep. lol
Actually it is the days that I am honest with him that I didn't orgasm that hurt our sex life cause then it hurts his confidence and that just isn't a good thing.
I've never faked an orgasm. I've never needed to; I orgasm easily. I actually get the reverse situation... I orgasm so quietly that it's not always obvious when I have. To the extent that he's actually asked if I did afterward.
@Nominatim@xanga - I find that sex is *much* better if I do orgasm. Sex isn't a waste of time or altogether bad if I don't, no, but it's not as good. If I don't get off at all, it just means I get put more on edge until I do. So... it matters, at least to those who can/do get off to penetration.
@Nominatim@xanga - looks like i can pick them then hey?
If he's done with me, I'll fake it to make him feel better.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - HAHA
on another note, i heard from some girls that they do it because it makes their guys feel better and turns them on
WOW, what depressing responses and concurrences. =/
I don't fake ever. That would be stupid haha.
i've only ever faked it once. and that was because i wasn't really in the mood anymore and i just wanted to get it over with. haha. that sounds bad . it wasn'tt.
Woman, you TELL IT LIKE IT IS!!!!
Goodness, I can't believe the number of people who commented that they "just want him to get the fuck off". I actually LIKE sex, so the idea of faking it just to get it over with is a dumb idea.
Honestly, anyone who fakes it doesn't really deserve one in the first place.If i'm not feeling it, I don't fake it... I just don't moan or show any emotion to non-verbally tell the man he ain't doin anything for me.