I found this
article on Shine (written by a dude) about things that turn guys off when they are just getting to know a potential SO and was rather surprised.
Do guys care about our nails? What we eat? Our problems?
Changing your relationship status on Facebook after the first date "I am not lying when I tell you – this has happened to me. The first date went well (we were all over each other) and we definitely drank more than our fair share of wine. I was definitely excited for the next date. Next day, I got a very interesting notification in my mini-feed saying “Sharon is no longer single.” I didn’t call her for that second date…"
Eh. I think this go for both sexes-- you don't have to be a woman to be crazy. Seriously people, don't get that over confident-- you're begging for fate to give you a swift kick in the ass.
Only ordering salads when we go out on dates"You’re not a rabbit – you’re a human. By all means, order a salad as your starter, but there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to chow down. I’m not telling you lick your fingers clean at the end of your meal, I’m just telling you to eat like a normal person! A girl who has eating issues is a red flag, and something that we’d rather not get involved with."
We've covered this topic a few times in the last few months and this is pretty consistent with one message-- men like a woman who is confident and will eat what she wants, or a lot of it. As far as EDs are concerned, I hate to say it, but that's a pretty fair way to look at it. If a girl has an ED she has some issues she needs to work out and it and probably has a few other unrelated problems. And not every guy can deal with the pressure of trying to help a hurting girl.
Bad manicure (or lack thereof)"I’m going to go ahead and say that it’s worth it to spring for a pampering session. Though you might think we don’t notice, chipped nail polish or chewed down nails can be a quick turn-off. It tells us that you don’t care. I was on a date with a girl who seemed to have given herself a manicure while driving on a bumpy road. I mean…really?! I don’t mean to be “that guy,” but it just wasn’t cute."
This one surprised me, because I feel like I've read a lot of mag articles saying "blah blah men don't care about how your nails look they just want to get laid blah blah." However, if men really do feel this way I totally understand-- who wants a gross, dirty hand touching them?
Career-Obsessed"Nothing sucks the excitement out of a relationship more quickly than when I’m wining and dining my lady and she whips out her iPhone so she can promptly answer emails from her boss. I’m all for a woman who works hard and enjoys what she does, but there’s a time and place for it – and it’s not when I’m trying to look into her eyes over a candlelit dinner."
Who hasn't been guilty of this at least once? But it's true-- it's incredibly rude to being checking your email or texting when you are grabbing a meal for two. Texting your friend quick updates discretely to because you are nervous is OK, but ignoring your dinner partner is a no no.
Body hair"Men are bestial creatures. We’ve been hairy since adolescence and are forced to shave every morning if we don’t want to look like a hobo. One of the most refreshing things about a woman is how smooth she is. Don’t ruin this fantasy for us. Shave your legs and underarms. Take care of any awkward facial hair you may have. And groom your nether regions!"
I get it. Smooth skin is feminine skin. But you know what? I shouldn't have to be perfect all the time, especially if it's OK for you to have random tufts of thick chest hair or the dreaded mutton chop facial hair. If I want to wait a few days to shave my leg hair, you will live.
Baby-talk"Don’t resort to a baby voice to try and get something you want out of us. I’m not dating a 5-year-old, but a mature woman. Sometimes little girls use this tactic when they want extra spending cash at the mall. I’m not your dad. If you are missing something from me in a relationship, tell me in your real voice and be confident – don’t cover it up because you’re scared about what my answer might be."
Um , what? I don't think a lot of women do this, especially mature ladies. Maybe the author is dating too many ditsy girls?
Deodorant issues"Of course you look stunning in your little black dress, and I certainly appreciate your classic choice…BUT, before you leave the house, make sure your deodorant hasn’t rubbed off on your sleeves. There is nothing worse than being distracted by a girl’s pits. Also, those accumulated clumps of deodorant on your underarms. I know it’s hard to prevent, but be mindful of it before you leave the house!"
I have never heard a man make a comment about anyone's deodorant pits, but I agree that I get a little distracted when girls have clumps of white under their arms. However, it is by no means "deal breaking" material.
Don’t talk about your problems"Everybody has them – it’s just part of the human condition. Save it. Don’t dote on them and make them the only topic of conversation, seeking my advice or approval. If you’re having problems with your family, your ex, your hygiene…it’s just kind of a deal breaker. I’m out with you and trying to get to know the best you possible, so bringing unpleasant skeletons out of your closet leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."
Alright, I agree mostly with this. You shouldn't lead off with all the awful things in your life or complain a lot, because misery is a mood killer and your date will have no choice but to try to cheer you up. With isn't easy and not what they had in mind. However, I don't want to "know the best you"-- I want to get to know the good and the bad early.
Don’t forget your manners"One of my main rules as a man is classic chivalry. If I invite a woman out for dinner or drinks, I always pay – pull out her chair, and help her with her coat. It’s how I was raised. Don’t forget to say a simple “thank you.” It lets me know that you were raised with good manners, and that you appreciate me. When a woman feels entitled to any sort of special treatment, it tells me that she is just a mean-spirited person. Manners are a must!"
Thank your man if he is a gentleman! When he pays, opens doors, drops you off, whatever-- let him know you appreciate the gesture. However, guys, please know that if a girl doesn't, she isn't a bad person-- it could likely be that she feels uncomfortable with you doing all this stuff for her, so don't just assume the worst.
Only talk about yourself"Don’t forget that there are two people in a conversation. I listened so I could score a first date, and because I was generally interested. Once you’re out on a date, I want to know that you’re also interested in getting to know more about me. Sometimes in the nervousness of the moment, it’s easy to forget to reciprocate questions. Be mindful of it."
Another gender neutral rule that can be agreed on! Also, how awkward is it when you ask someone questions and they answer, but don't ask you? Do you feel like they just don't care about your thoughts?
Guys, are these accurate? Ladies, are you surprised? What else turns you off early?
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Comments (40)
Fuck that shit. Especially the nitpicky crap about fingernails and my choice of food.
Agree: Career obsessed is a definite turn off. Even for people who continuously check on their phones during a date. It gives me the feeling they're bored or something.
Body hair...what can I say about body hair? Keep it at a minimum..... Also during the winter too where women don't feel like they have to shave their legs *shivers* =X Deodorant just goes hand in hand, but then again I would just add in smelling how a girl should smell like (before you all ask me how a girl should smell like or if there is a particular girl scent, there isn't) but I usually imagine a girl to smell good or yummy lol =D
Disagree: I don't really care about the salads or the manicures or pedicures. Maybe the girl is a vegetarian for all I know eh? But then again that would be weird since I'm a carnivore haha! And honestly I barely look at a girl's fingers so unless it's filled with dirt or it's so long that you can easily give me a cut or just so overly done (in the case of those fake long nails) I honestly don't care as long as it's clean.
nope. not surprised.
just don't complain when we go out to a restaurant and i order my usual of a caesar salad followed by a 10oz steak and mashed potatoes.
i'm a girl that *can* eat ;)
boys that want groomed nether regions better be damn well groomed down there, too.
oh! also, if i ask you out, i pay. this chivalry crap is ridiculous.
This is pointless. This is common sense and almost all of it can be applied to the opposite side as well.
who cares about nails anyway guys actually look?
I can understand shaving legs/arms/underarms, but some boys (including the moron who wrote some parts of this list) clearly don't understand how annoying and irritating grooming nether regions can be.
I knew a girl who used to talk to her boyfriend in that awful baby voice all the time. ALLL the time, no matter who was around. It was annoying and made me feel like we were with a 4 year old...
Interesting..
Most of these are good, but I find a lot of guys don't care about the hair down there. But if a guy was to expect me to shave down there, I would expect him to have very short hair down there. I'm not going to go down on a bush ahaha.
The salad thing may be a little much. I mean, if the girl has an eating disorder, then worry but nothing wrong with a gal eating healthy once in a while.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - amen!
What will turn me off is a woman's pickiness when it comes to food - I loooove cooking and going out and I want to share that and experience with her - if all she eats is salad - the maturity level is going to piss me the fuck off.
Dress like a woman not a girl.
DO Talk about yourself - TO A DEGREE...how else am I to get to know you ... obviously don't tell me overly personal things that I didn't ask about.
Hair Maintenience in public places is a must YES. But call me old-fashioned, not sure it's necessary early on because well, I'm not going to fuck you within the first three dates - sorry...I'm not that desperate and I don't see you as a sperm receptacle.
Men may like women who "eat a lot" but they (generally) do not like women who are chubby, and they tend to think women can eat like they do and stay slim. Sorry, but it's one or the other. A woman cannot eat steak and potatoes (or burgers and fries or nachos) every day and stay slim. If you want a woman who can chow down with you, better be happy with her being a size 12 or larger. If you like slender and dainty, it's salads and carrot sticks 6 days a week (at least.) Can't have it both ways.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - Seriously.
The guy who wrote this sounds like an ass: he insists on paying for my food, so he gets a say in what I can and can't order (I'm a vegetarian, so if you take me to Outback, fuck yes I'm ordering the salad!!), he wants me to do my nails and shave my legs, and assumes that women talk like children, because at the end of the day, dumb blondes are the only bitches that tolerate him.
Why should I have to be fucking perfect for a man that gets to live in his 'natural' state? I call shenanigans!
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - agreed; nails are the least of a guy's problems..
the guy that wrote this sounds like an ass..honestly..
That's one in a million. Some guys like girls who do some of that stuff. What's wrong with talking about your problems? Nothing. This article is not really accurate because everyone is different.
1) Agree. I can see how that would be creepy. I always make sure to ask the person if it's official before I MAKE it official on Facebook.
2) Disagree. Who gives a shit if I want to have a salad? If that's all I'm hungry for, then I'll order a goddamn salad. Deal with it, and start worrying about things that aren't so minuscule.
3) Disagree. ...Really? Refer to the last sentence of #2.
4) Eh. I can sort of understand this one. I can see how it would break the romance factor, but if I get an important text, I'm not just going to ignore it.
5) I knew my boyfriend was a keeper when he still had sex with me even though I didn't shave my legs for over three months. If he's allowed to be as hairy as a grizzly bear, then I'm allowed to keep my nether regions and legs hairy if I please.
6) Agree. I can't imagine how annoying that must be... jeez.
7) Ehh. Sure, it's a little distracting, but come on, at least we're WEARING deodorant. Why don't you be happy that we smell good despite the fact that we have white powder under our armpits.
8) For the most part, agree. It's bad on a first date. However, the bad stuff is going to come out eventually if you continue to date us. I understand that this is only talking about "when you start dating" though, so I'll just leave it at that.
9) Agree. People who don't know how to say please and thank you lose respect in my book. It's a bad sign for me on a first date too.
10) Agree. It's egotistical.
A turnoff for me is someone who'd come up with such a list.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - I agree.
-.- whoever wrote the article seems conceited. Many articles on "Shine" tend to brainwash and make people think that there is only ONE way of doing things. the guy was probably just sharing his personal opinion.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I couldn't agree more. If I get regular Brazilians he can trim a little!
really, chipped nails?! nail polish chips easily, and we don't have time to constantly repaint our nails; it gets tiring. we don't see you giving yourself manicures. also, you might not want a girl who's too focused on her appearance all of the time.
this seems more like the opinion of just one guy. because some guys really don't care about body hair, since they understand how tedious is it to always remove it, especially if you're hairy (like me, unfortunately).
@Zailla@xanga - agreed!
Manicure and food thing are a little much, but I agree with most of it anyway. A turnoff for me is when either date pulls out the ipod touch or iphone and playing games. It says to me I'm boring you. Another thing is when your date isn't being true to themselves. Like it feels like they have a mask on over who they are. Truth be told I wanna know you for you. Through all your problems and little quirks. I care deeply for people so I'm more than willing to listen and even help if I can.