Easier than your mother.
I won't say that most men are fools, because they aren't. They just enjoy hurting themselves by lighting their bodies on fire or watching Twilight with their significant other. But when it comes to women and understanding their foreign language called "speaking", we are left either confused, with a black eye, or gassy. So here's a little cheat for you men out there who are still trying to figure out what the heck your woman is saying.
I swear I was on the pill...honest! So what color do you think we should paint his/her room?1. "We need" = I want
2. "This Kitchen is so ____" = I want a new house
3. "I want new curtains" = and carpet, and furniture, and ...
4. "I need a new pair of shoes" = the other 40 are all the wrong color
5. "I only need a soap dish" = We'll check out ALL the sale items
6. "Those are a bargain" = Did you bring your checkbook?
7. "Does this dress look OK?" = I need a new wardrobe
8. "Look at this coat!" = Is VISA maxed out?
9. "You're so attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
10. "It's just... I'm soooo tired" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
11. "It's been such a hectic day" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
12. "Hon! I just did my hair" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
13. "Are the kids asleep?" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
14. "Won't you be late for work?" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
15. "Turn out the lights first" = My thighs looked flabby today
16. "Of course I like making love" = Is this gonna take much longer?
17. "You're ... so manly" = You need a shave and a shower
18. "You have such a manly scent" = For God's sake. Use some deodorant
19. "My, don't you look comfortable" = Go put on a shirt, slob
20. "So nice to see you relaxing" = Don't sit around in your underwear
So, are you happy or upset? Really.21. "I'm not upset!" = Of course I'm upset, you moron
22. "I'm not emotional!" = You'd be too, if you married an idiot
23. "I'm not mad at all" = I can't believe you're that stupid
24. "Yes, I'm still talking to you" = I can't believe you're that stupid
25. "I'm not being quiet" = I can't believe you're that stupid
26. "No" = No. Never.
27. "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
28. "Do you forgive me?" = You'll be sorry
29. "Well, I was upset" = You'll be sorry
30. "Well, I was tired" = You'll be sorry
31. "Well, I had a headache" = You'll be sorry
32. "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later, big time
33. "Do what you think best" = You'll pay for this later, big time
34. "You know more about it" = You'll pay for this later, big time
35. "As I recall, it was your idea" = You'll pay for this later, big time
36. "Yes, I've calmed down" = You'll pay for this later, big time
And it's THIS big. Oh, don't give me that face!37. "I realize it was my fault sweetheart" = You ain't seen nothing yet!
38. "It's your decision" = The correct decision is obvious
39. "Sure... go ahead" = Don't you dare, you clown
40. You like this recipe? = It's easy to fix
41. "Do you want to eat out?" = I forgot to go grocery shopping
42. "What do you want for dinner?" = I don't feel like cooking
43. "You seen that new restaurant?" = I don't feel like cooking
44. "It's your Mother's recipe" = You'd better damn sight eat that
45. "You liked that the last time" = You'd better damn sight eat that
46. "Don't want to talk yet" = Go away, I'm building up steam
47. "Just need some time to think" = Go away, I'm building up steam
48. "We need to talk" = I need to complain
49. "Learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
50. "I am not yelling!" = This is important, you idiot!
51. "Are you listening to me???" = [Too late, you're dead]
52. "Our anniversary's coming up" = When I think of the guys I could have married
53. "The kids were so bad today" = Your gene pool needs more chlorine
Ladies, help a brotha out here!
True 
Comments (27)
Ah CaKaLusa how I love you. =D
@Starshine_Faerie@xanga - sank you.
LMAO hahaha. nice 10-14
@CaKaLusa@xanga - wuu ahh velcommee. =D
Haha yeah a lot of these are true..
I can't send this to my boyfriend fast enough.
Some are true and the others are quite funny.
oh man this made me laugh so hard, and that first pic with the caption is hilarious!! this is so funny cause its true!! i love the - i can't believe you're that stupid hahahaha
Funny, and slightly true.
"You'd better damn sight eat that" <-- what does that mean?
L.O.L.
hahaha nice list so many of them seem so true...some of them worry me!
Men translated:
Don't hint to us; just tell us directly!
This . . . is . . . GREAT :)
LOL!
Awesome haha.
Funny, where's the one about her Aunt Flo visiting?
Lol a lot of these are actually true.
haha...I laughed through the whole thing
this was halarious! lol
54. "No babe, I've got it." = You'll pay for this later, lazy ass.
@Xx_evergreen_xX@xanga - Yess!!!! that's the best one, why isn't that on there?!?!?
HAHA, awesome :P
haha! I can agree with some... =) others may need more time to develop...
HAHAHA @shayne_xx@xanga - right?