Sunday, 27 June 2010
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PDA: The Public Display of Affection or the Public Demand for Attention
Being affectionate towards one's partner is a reassuring sign of one's commitment to that person and the relationship. Hugs, kisses, and holding hands are outward expressions of passion. But do some couples overdo the PDA?
Sharing a chocolate milk shake at the local diner used to be the cute way of showing the world that two young people were interested. Now, couples have resorted to full out make out session in Times Square to prove their love. Is PDA a Public Display of Affection of a Public Demand for Attention?
Overly affectionate couples can be nauseating to some onlookers. The world gets you're in love. Now get over it. One has to wonder about the long drawn out lip service in the movie ticket line or the noticeable inappropriate touching on the subway. Is your affair everyone else's business? Shouldn't some things be saved for just the two of you?
When two people are in love, they want the world to know it. But, how much do you want the world to know? Some women and men are insecure in their relationships. Hence, they overdo the touchy feely nonsense in public to prove their mate is taken. These are the individuals who leave hickeys on their partner to "mark their territory". In my opinion, only insecure people leave markings on their mate. Furthermore, attention getters up the anti with the public demand for attention.
True love is something sacred. It's not something to be lived on Facebook, Twitter and in the coffee line before breakfast. Precious moments are in private. A public display of affection would be a nice kiss on the ferris wheel as it ascends into the midnight sky. What is romantic about locking lips on the corner of 8th Avenue & Everyone is Watching?
What are your thoughts on PDA? Do you think it's really a public display of affection? Or is it a public demand for attention?
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- From: EBailey@revelife
- Name: Eryn-Ashlei
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Comments (72)
Me and my bf show a lot of PDA xD but I try to make him limit it..so it doesn't disturb some people. We're just very affectionate.
not in public at home with visitors we allow a bit more. im scared of upsetting ppl who have a broken heart
i HATE to see couples locking lips in public. Holding hands, a quick smooch or a hug. I'm fine will all of that. But once the intensity rises above that, I want to puke and my facial expression shows that. I hate to see it and I don't want others to have to suffer because of me so my SO and I keep it behind closed doors.
I don't know WHY people are so adamant about sharing with the world.
I think holding hands and kissing is okay. It's when you start to make out that it's a little annoying.
I think it depends on the couple.
For instance, you mention hickeys. After I've been with my boyfriend for awhile, my neck gets marked up a lot. But... that's because I really like it when he does stuff to my neck. The marks are a side effect.
As far as full on making out? Well, were I to do that in public, that'd be because, well... I like making out, and it happened to happen in public. I don't make a habit of drastic PDA of that sort, but if it *were* to happen, that'd be why. There's no point to me "telling the world my boyfriend's taken"--we have different friends at different colleges and make it clear ourselves.
I do think that some couples do it for attention, don't get me wrong... But I don't think that it's fair to say EVERY instance of PDA is done due to insecurity. Some of it's just apathy to the fact that the couple's in public.
Personally, sexual acts around me don't bother me. If I saw a couple having sex on the street I'd probably just shrug and keep walking.
You ever try reversing the thought process? I have been on both sides of the equation. I am not a big fan of 'PDA', but i'm also a bit annoyed by the "I'm going to attack you with kisses and fondles b/c nobody's looking" bit. I don't see the point in hiding NOR overdoing PDA.
Hickies aren't a part of 'PDA' btw. If anything, it's more of a public result of something private, and a fading one at that.
holding hands and a hug is okay. anything else, no. nobody wants to see that crap.
I hug, hold hands, make cute faces and kiss my bf out in public... but never mroe than that. He liked to grab my butt sometimes... but only when no one is looking... >.> he says he can't resist... he has been at it for five years... so it isn't ever going to be stopped...
As for PDA having sex in front of my eyes is too much... anything else... meh people love people... `there is not enough love as it is. most people who don't want to see it are bitter... the others are grossed out... so if you don't like it don't look in my opinion.
I don't mind couples that hold hands or give one another a quick hug or goodnight kiss - everything else is a little over the top and not necessary in public.
@iamjustamemory@xanga - I agree.
Really don't care. If I feel affectionate I do it but it certainly isn't done to gain attention. I'm not a real cuddly person so it really doesn't happen that much though.
Personally, my boyfriend and I share hickeys because they feel nice. Idk what you're talking about with marking territory or whatever.
I have a friend from college who used to play with her boyfriend (who is also a friend of mine) in public. As in, handsy under the table. Very awkward and unnecessary to do in front of a table full of people.
My thing is, it isn't a demand of attention; it's just what I do. It's habit to hold his hand or kiss his cheek, and it's hard to avoid that.
Probably, though, it's because we've done the long-distance thing too much, and I have to make up for lost time. Maybe, after being in the same city for more than two months at a time, I'll lighten up on the PDAs.
Along that line, though, when we are apart, it hurts to see other "happy couples" and their PDAs. It sometimes makes me physically ill or just very angry that that can't be our reality at that time. So, for the sake of other long-distance couples, I try to keep it down.
I think holding hands, cute pecks on the lips and hugs are okay in public, however, making out is disturbing.
I don't think it's bad at all, as long as you're not overtly sexual (groping genitals and shoving your tongue down his/her throat); if you find it nauseating then look away! I think a lot of it has to do with jealousy. People are jealous when they're single! Just like when you get a new boyfriend and all your friends get clingy and say you're spending too much time with your new boyfriend. Get over it, let people be happy and show it.
@unabridgedtales@xanga - i would have written a reply to this post. but it seems youve done it for me. so just ditto.
I am fine with holding hands, quick kisses, and cuddles are okay in public. I, like most people, don't want to see other people making out. I honestly don't understand why people are so sensitive about pda. If a couple is having a cute moment staring at each other and looking cutsie, so what? Why is seeing two people in love so upsetting?
I think its cute when couples hold hands and or open doors for eachother it's like aww. But it gets super annoying and disgusting when you pull in a the parking lot at the mall and there's a couple parked in front fricking about ready to get it on or when they hug for 30 hours it's like are you kidding me this sucks more because I'm ehem single. Especially going into walmart on v-day I was like are you kidding me why these lovely individuals need to rain on my parade and spend their v-day at walmart XD
PDA doesn't bother me, and my fiance and I regularly show affection for each other in public. You have a neck, use it to turn your head. Seriously, who's weirder, the couple sharing a kiss in public or the creepy lady watching them?
@Gorrific@xanga - agreed.
I'm pretty limited on PDA with my boyfriend because of how grossed-out I get by other couples. To me, it's rude, ridiculous and the most attention whore-ish thing for one to do by acting overly affectionate in public (i.e. trying to eat their partner's face) where they know for a fact people are likely watching them.
I definitely agree that every couple should be allowed to be cute and cuddle with each other, stare into each other's eyes lovingly, etc. It makes me smile, even if I've recently been dumped on my ass. It's just what seeing other people happy does to me.
My boyfriend and I agree for the amount of PDA we're okay with. More than one kiss is fine, but full-on making out is just plain distasteful. And hugging is always in good taste, haha. :)
I get antsy kissing him goodbye on my front porch, because neighbours might be watching us. I wouldn't call myself old-fashioned in the slightest, but I like to think it's a matter of public respect when we limit ourselves.
I agree with this post..I do NOT like it when the couple is just about to toss theire cloths and do it! No that is just grose..a small peck and a hug is fine..holding hands is fine..but other then that no.
i never used to mind it, but since my roommate got a boyfriend, it's PDA all up in my face! plus the walls are thin and i can't sleep with earphones in my ears so yea, it's getting annoying, and making me hate PDA.
in public i limit it to just holding hands/small pecks but those are rare. I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable because there might be little kids running arund or people who aren't used to it. ALso, I don't really like seeing other people do that whole grabbing thing too much ,maybe because Iwas raised by parents who show no emotion to each other ><
not that i dislike the peple who do it, but I feel weird seeing that action. ANd I'm sure parents wouldn't want their kids to see that stuff either
kiss, hug, holding hands. that's probably about it.
i'm a cashier and the other day i was ringing something in for a guy and a girl and all of a sudden right there they started hardcore making out in front of me. so freaking awkward for everybody.