My girlfriend is going on a ranting and raving rampage about the latest guy she thought she was dating only to find out he keeps her hidden from the outside world. So to him, she's good enough to bang but not good enough to bring out to socialize. She has every right to be hurt and to wish STD upon him but I can't quite join in on the bashing of her man.
You see, not long ago when I was single, I did exactly the same thing.
I had broken up from a long relationship and the last thing I wanted was to get tied down by the same dick again. So deciding I was going to roll with it, I found myself a F-buddy to keep me satisfy at night and went out chilling with my friends during the day. Knowing my friends wouldn't approve of this, I never told them about F-buddy.
Everything was going fine for a month or so until F-buddy wanted me to meet him in broad daylight with some of his friends. Or worst, asking me if he can join me with my friends for happy hour. If you're wondering why I couldn't intermix him and transition him from F-buddy to boyfriend? Well, he's fun in bed but quite annoying outside. He's the loud obnoxious frat boy that everyone stares at wondering which zoo he escaped from. When around people, he likes to strut around and puff out his chest and imitate a silver back gorilla protecting his territory. I worry he might accidently lift his leg and pee on me if I brought him out. Point is, he's not boyfriend material in my eyes.
Anyone else ever experienced being on the other side? Has this ever happen to you where you thought you were in a relationship only to find out it's one-sided?
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It's not right to treat someone like a fuck buddy, if they aren't in agreement with the situation BEFORE it starts.
Never, at all. I'm always in relationships...and if I want, I just take a break from the whole dating scene for awhile then get a fuck-buddy.
Vibrators were made for a reason.
Besides, you never just have sex early on. There has to be that mutal respect for each other early on, otherwise it will never be there.
I wrote a post how I had a f-buddy. he told some of his friends about me but never hung out with me besides his house and like once or twice we hung out in public but that's only because we ran into each other there. i was in agreement with the f-buddy, but he would make it seem like he liked me more than that, and when i finally told him how i really felt he said he didn't feel the same. he would ask me all of the damn time if i was messing with someone else or not as though he felt insecure or something. i would be fine with the f-buddy if he would stop asking me if i had been with anyone else. he shouldn't need to ask that considering just how much he knew i liked him...lmao i told him i dreamed about him a lot and stuff, and he still really has to ask if i've messed around with anyone else?
i kind of hate the f-buddy thing now because this one felt kind of like a relationship to me. if it was just a f-thing, no need to ask what else we do when we're not together at the moment. i think he likes me more than he says he does, but since he's a guy and all...he can't admit to that. like really...why can't he say good bye to me if i was just a f-thing for him? he told me i had to say it to him in texts or drop off stuff at his house. ridiculous. if i was just a f-thing for him, it would be much easier for him to say good bye and then move directly onto someone else if he was just looking for that.
I've had a fuckbuddy or two, though one might even be considered a fling, I don't know. Either way, I've never been dumb enough to not know what was going on with the relationships.
I mean, unless somewhat flat out lies and says "Yeah, we're together", never assume anything like that. People have to learn how to think about their emotions and not with them.
If you' re not ready for a relationship,is not a sin.in the past be'in the man that I am that I'M .I used to hit it and quite it .like my boy would said,got me a kid do'in it,but i learn from my mistake,for all young men outter there,built a friendship with ur love one. traite the ladies like they deserve ,and for the ......ladies do the... same. if you think i'm crazy let me know
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I've been on both sides.
For this reason, I don't do sexual things until I know we're in a relationship. I'm not old fashioned, but it makes things simpler, and it keeps my feelings from getting hurt.
I don't see how he used her unless he said he was interested in forming a relationship. I know plenty of people who do lie and do what is necessary to score. If that was the case then maybe she has right to be upset. Otherwise she might need to learn how to use that fucking organ inside her skull.
I've not been on either side of the situation, but I have had a friends with benefits. It actually turned into a relationship, and one of the best I've ever been in. Given, it doesn't happen that way for everyone. I can understand how your friend feels, because I thought my relationship was going to be that way with him, before I talked about it.
That sounds like your own problem. You didn't tell him straight up you weren't interested in a relationship.
I'm not sure why everyone is treating this like a problem. Go you for getting what you want. I did it in college too - I had a f-buddy and he and I were were both completely cool with it. Although we did hang out as friends, we never had anything romantic between us. As long as you both know what it is going into it, there shouldn't be any problems.
It does sound like you should be honest with the dude, though. Tell him what's going on and even if he doesn't like it, he'll respect you for being honest.
It'll be easier to decide to be mutual f-buddies, that way no one gets played
I hope that I never end up being someone's "f-buddy" and I don't plan on ever treating someone that way. There's such things as friends with benefits, where the other person actually knows and is in agreement with you about how the relationship is. Using someone for sex is just low. Two mature adults should be able to compromise and agree that a relationship is just physical.
hahaaha your fuck buddy sounds a lot like my ex boyfriend. and i currently have a fuck buddy, occasionally i'll invite him to parties and stuff but just so i don't feel too guilty because i know he wants more, but won't ask. which works out ok for me!
I have never done that...or had that done to me. I've met the friends of everyone I've slept with and vice versa. I don't think anyone has ever been ashamed to be seen with me. And I've really only have one person that I sleep with that I've never had romantic feelings for. He's really nice, but way too much of a manwhore for me to fall for.
i think i start most of my relationships out that way. it was all a closed door thing but eventually and only if and when the guy initiated that he wanted more than just sex that i open up my doors and accept some feelings. maybe its a way of protecting myself from getting hurt emotionally. but it worked well.
my current bf, he wanted me to meet his parents. he wanted to meet my parents. he wanted me to hang out with his friends.
i didn't want to do any of that.. even now. i think i rather not.
LOL at your description of him HAHAAA
I've never been on either side, I can't really do anything physical unless I have an emotional tie, I would just feel so strange and grossed out haha, but I am not insulting you or putting you down for your opinion, I like your honesty/openness
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nope. @swtaznxtc90@xanga - agree
it's not even that i don't like him, because i do, he's just not someone that i could ever take seriously as a boyfriend. i'd prefer people not to associate us in that way. but, i still do enjoy spending time with him not in public.
No, my f-buddy quite knew he was a f-buddy.
I've got a fuck buddy back in the town my college is in. We pretty much just established that we don't want anything romantic, and just went from there. We actually hang out in public a lot, so it's not really anything like the situations you described. He's a really sweet nerdy guy, and I'd probably be romantically interested in him if I was at all ready for that, or if he wasn't still hooked on his ex. There's really nothing wrong with it as long as both parties know what's up.
Haha right there with you! I found myself in your exact position; I thought he was good in bed but not quite boyfriend material; he was way into himself (he checks himself out every 10 minutes or so on my bathroom mirror) and is just.. kinda boring to talk to. Then he wanted to go movies, leaves his toothbrush at mine, meet my friends and hold hands in public... NO. I refused and he was all sulky and I hardly talk to him now. Good luck :)
@sexliesandcoffee@xanga - I totally agree with you.
If you have sex first, then pursue a relationship, it's difficult. It's like , "Why date when I know you'll put out?" There's no respect.
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