Friday, 25 June 2010
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Media Corrupts All -- But What Of Love?
Here are a couple old expressions on the topic of love...
Gigi:
A little night music:The Miller's Son
Every Day a Little Death
I was wondering what common media representations of love you think best represent how people love today. In 'Every Day a Little Death' a wife mourns her lover's infidelity. In 'The Miller's Son' there are some perhaps antiquated notions of not always being able to 'upgrade' and so to cherish/love the one you are with. In "Gigi," the song 'I Remember It Well' a senile old couple recollect their time.
And in many songs written more recently there are notions supporting individuality to the point where dependence, emotional investment no longer exists, or at least "should" no longer exist; 'Since You've Been Gone,' perhaps 'I Hate Everything About You'; I was 'Love Drunk'...
What is love? Does it include dependence? Which songs represent love to you? and is it corrupted by media? or does the media just reflect our ideals?
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About the Author
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- From: lenybobsyouruncle@xanga
- About Me: prepared to love, but afraid that the want is obscure
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Comments (8)
love for me is mixed emotions kind of thing. Putting it into words would be difficult. You know love is there, you feel it.. no need for words. There would be a bunch of them, listing it would fill this page.:) it is for those people who have no clear concept about it, media most time exaggerates things just like love is a "super wonderful feeling, lalalala..." or if you get heart broken " I'd rather die, I am nothing..". Media does'nt show that love isnt just about being happy and getting hurt. Theres more to love than we see, hear, or read.
To me, love is a emotion you can have for anyone, not only your lover. You can love your friend, your "lover", your next door neighbor. I think it is accepting someone for who they were, are and who they will become. It is also giving them to space to grow, and heal themselves through life's up and downs.
In an ideal world, dependence shouldn't exist. I like to say that real love is going out into the middle of the desert and choosing every day to work together and support each other to survive. Then all the bs is filtered away, and the only thing left is the partnership between you and the other.
In these days of Twilight (frikkin' Twilight), I think we've lost sight of how important it is not to be dependent completely. Look at Pride and Prejudice- Elizabeth had to be financially dependent on Darcy, but she was emotionally independent. Look at Casablanca: where did Ilsa's dependence on men get her? Away from Rick. I'm telling ya. Kids these days.
"On Your Side" by Pete Yorn and "From Where You Are" by Lifehouse
I think love involves some level of dependence. Isn't that what trust is? You should be able to hold your own, though, for those times when your SO needs to lean on you.
@zippoe@xanga - from personal experience i can say that those are understatements rather than exaggerations; that may be just my experience though. XD 'fill the page...' thats the point... filling pages and pages with descriptions of ideals, dreams and portrayals of perfection. cause maybe you all know much more than me about love.
in all honesty, my request for help was to get material to use to double check my music. i want to make sure that though it is written about a non-sex love, it is still relevant to people... maybe love and beauty have drowned in an over abundance of sustenance.
@TatemK@xanga - acceptance; beautiful :D thank you for the imput.
@CrossYourHeart21@xanga - i whole heartedly agree. i believe mutual dependance is wonderful. and that it is better to be overly dependent than independent. why be with someone if you don't need them?
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - I'm a bit confused. Is love not needing someone but still sticking around (one should upgrade when given the chance)? Or is love needing the person in his/her entirety (flaws and all)?
Your second paragraph suggests we are looking at different traits. Let's take your example of Pride and prejudice. If Elizabeth is emotionally independent, does she feel love? In another phrasing: what are the requirements for love? I honestly can't fathom someone in love who is 'emotionally independent'. The imagery conjures for me daytime drama like 90210, with all of it's bad acting. "i love you" *stares at an object until s/he cries*... FOUR MIN LATER... *single tear*
(I apologize if I am not understanding the claims. The authors whose books you've mentioned are far from familiarity to me. The closest I've gotten is probably the author Descartes.)
@lenybobsyouruncle@xanga - I was just arguing against complete dependence. Like being incapable of doing anything without the significant other. (eg: Twilight, other terrible trash novels, some Lifetime movies)
Elizabeth is emotionally independent because she does not allow Darcy's view of her to change how she views herself unless it's something huge, which is really the way it should be. I would say that love is not the same thing as need at all. I can love without needing people (although my life would suck without them), so I guess I just object to the word "need" altogether. Love is finding someone to share life with, and finding someone who makes your life so much better that not having them would suck, and perhaps make life overall harder to get through. I don't consider that "needing" someone. As far as being able to "upgrade..." it's hard to know what is an upgrade and what is just boredom or masochism talking, when you've found something good. So I wouldn't consider that 'sticking around,' just valuing what you know you really want, and keeping it through maybe some rough patches if nothing fundamental has changed. I would say that no one "needs" flaws, but we all put up with them and eventually even find them endearing if we love the person as a whole enough.Now that I've written a novel, :P I hope I've explained myself fully.