I was once told that you can't be truly over someone, unless you're indifferent to them. You don't love them. You don't hate them. They are a part of your past. Since you can't erase them, you just file it away in the back of your head and forget about it. You're just numb to them.
I thought that made sense.
After all, when I hear my friend constantly talk about her ex, it makes me wonder if she's truly over him. She's not bashing him, but his name will come up more often than her own current boyfriend's name would. I've asked her before if she regretted them breaking up and she said no. She's fine with it and over it. Considering that they were only together for a short time, you can't even say they have history together. Yes it was very intense, but it was so short that if you blinked, you might have missed it type of summer fling.
Part of me does think back to certain past relationships. Good ones, bad ones even the crazy ones. But never for a long period of time. After all, I know it's human nature to remember things. Our brain is the biggest camera and photo album storage so I guess it's inevitable to think about your exes here and there.
So I wonder, if you constantly think about or talk about your ex, are you truly over them? Or are you just fooling yourself along with everyone else?
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Comments (30)
You aren't over them if you constantly think about and talk about them. But you can still have moved on with someone else...
hahaha under. nice.
im over him..because i dont love him anymore
You can have another boyfriend and not be over the last one. The heart expands to make room for even more love, doesn't replace love with different love. And past experiences shape us, so I see nothing wrong with telling stories that involve exes.
Indifference could also be defined as not caring at all whether or not the story involves the ex.Recent one I'm not over him... but it just ended a couple of weeks ago. All of my other ones are just a part of the past, so yeah I'm definitely over... or rather, indifferent to them. There is one that I smile about when I talk about him, but I don't MISS him... it's hard to explain. I'm not sure I ever really had him though.
haha ur so right. if you hate a ex chances are it'll be easy to get under him again=D HAHA. when i don't care anymore, wish them well, and okay with what happened in our relationship, i know i am over him.
im over both of them but one of them would still stir up bitter feelings if i were to see him again. i know he's a jerk so i dont like him but i SUPER dont like him because of that and because i never really had closure
If you constantly think or talk about your ex.. the answer is quite obvious, you still have strong feelings tied to this person whether they are feelings of love or hatred or resentment.
For the exes whom I don't care for and have their names in my phone.. on occasions I would forget and ask "who is this person". That's when you know, there is nothing you feel for him/her anymore. But then again, I've dated a number of guys.
But when it comes down to it, if seeing him again stirs any feelings at all... you are Not over him. Not entirely anyway.
I think this is a valid point. You do need to be indifferent, in my opinion, to be truly over them. But if I'm talking to another girl who dated the same guy for awhile, then we'll compare our current dudes together. It's not that we hate him, or even don't like him, I just personally know that I'm much, much better off with him completely out of my life - for good.
Well, my ex and I keep fighting and arguing all the time and it's really pissing me off... But I do think I'm pretty over him. Not indifferent yet, because he still makes me incredibly annoyed, but over him.
im indifferent. i was debating about deleting her off my facebook since i dont even look at her profile anymore and she was a bitch to me after the breakup but now i could really not care
so i dont even bother with it
I'm over all of my old ex's, but not so much with my 'recent' ex. He makes his way into my mind sometimes, haha.
I'm pretty much over all of my exes. There are definitely a few emotional scars that I carry, but they're more about how much I hurt instead of how much I hate my ex for hurting me (if that makes any sense?).
Because one of my good friends is currently dating my ex, it's hard for me not to think about him when I talk to her. Besides that, I think I'm pretty much over him. Before that, I had two other boyfriends, but that was almost 5 years ago, so I don't really think about them at all. School and boyfriend take up too much time (11 months today! Yay!!)
But deep down, I know I'm not over him... When I can still stay that have reoccuring thoughts, dreams, and sighs about him, it is all bad news. I don't regret the break up because we would not work out even today... But I'm most definitely "under" my ex and his spell on me.
The other two exes are indifference... I'm over them, at least
I'd say I'm over my ex. It's been a little over 6 months now since we broke up, but I haven't been serious with anyone else since, so I think that's why he appears in my thoughts sometimes still. At one point, I was really excited over a new guy I met, and my ex completely escaped my thoughts for that period of time. But all in all, he's part of the past and I'd be happy if I never saw him again in my life.
I'm not over my ex. I think that I'm over wanting to date him because he has changed and has become a really cruel demeaning stubborn person. I still love him though and I miss him, and I've never gotten the closure I crave, and I don't think I ever will. Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to say good riddance and be happy with the life I have without him. I think that if I didn't see him so often, it would be a lot easier to get over him, but since most of our friends are mutual, it's nearly impossible to avoid him. I need to get away or not see him for an extended period of time, and then I think that would help.
If you constantly think and talk about anything, you are definitely not over it.
I'm indifferent to all of my exes, but remain cordial with one.
I constantly think and talk about my ex, but I know I'm not over him. I'm in the process of trying to convince him to give us another shot we've been broken up for about two years now. I dated him during a part of my life where I was a rather large pain in the arse and I have a feeling this time around I could really make him happy. Really the only thing in our way is that he has a girlfriend -_- But I've waited two years so I think I can wait however long his relationship lasts. Unless it lasts forever in which case I suppose I'm rather screwed o.o
I am indifferent and over most of my exes. The one I spoke of above is the only person I've ever not been indifferent to after a certain amount of time. But I definitely think if you constantly talk about/think about an ex you aren't over them it may not be to the degree I'm not over my ex, but it's to enough of one that it's obvious you still need some time to really get over them.
I'm indifferent about my exes. I honestly don't care about them.
I used to think about my ex often. He was always a part of my dialogue with various experiences - new guys, work, and life in general. Looking back, I think I did that because I wanted to know why he cheated on me and how he could successfully start and sustain a long-term relationship with someone else even before he ended ours, whereas I couldn't. It was constant, and unhealthy, self-assessment of me and why I failed. In short, I wasn't over it. But it wasn't that I wasn't over him, it's that I wasn't over me. So even if your ex is embedded in your conversations and thoughts, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not over him. Maybe the problem lies elsewhere.
Personally, I know I was over my ex when I stopped wanting to know how he was. It was a type of peace, not indifference. I can say this because should he come to me with some sort of life-threatening problem, I would still care. After all, how can you ever become indifferent to someone who shared and was a part of such an intimate part of your life? This is the true delusion.
under as of a couple days ago hahahahah. after almost a year of not talking, i'm certainly detached, but i'm not convinced i'll ever be truly over him. ahhh one of those kinds of things.
Oh, darn, I thought this was a post about whether you liked being on top or on bottom!
Hmm I've been struggling with this myself. Me and my ex broke out and then tried to be friends, it seemed to work..but then fell apart. Now we don't speak anymore and I've stopped being upset and down about it but I can't say I'm indifferent now because I've got bad feelings toward him. I'd hope to believe myself when I say I am over him though. Men eh?
i think i am indifferent with my ex bf now. i was currently talking to someone else, but i know my ex will always be apart of me in some way. i do know that is best to move on b/c there cant be anything there. now i don't know what to do about the current one i am liking anymore either. love is extremely crazy for me right now. i still don't understand it and i hope that i will one day