I can't wait to be engaged. I think it will be like the honeymoon period of the relationship all over again. So many exciting things to plan and a whole new life in front of you. I'm really just looking forward to the whole thing. So when I saw an article titled
"5 Engagement Nightmares You Won't Believe," I clicked the link ever so hesitantly, dying to know, but wanting to protect my perfect image of engagement all at the same time.
And, shock me shock me, but the I really COULDN'T believe what I read. In particularly.... :
“My engagement was marred shortly after my fiancé proposed to me. He made the mistake of phoning his mother immediately after to tell her the good news, but unfortunately our engagement was disappointing to her. She was loud enough on the phone that even my fiancé couldn’t hide how upset she was. So, instead of being happy that my boyfriend proposed, I cried whenever I told people I was engaged.” —Bobbi, Houston, TXI was MORTIFIED for poor Bobbi. And now I have a myriad of questions about engagements gone wrong. Help me out, Datingish...
What would you do if your fiancé's parents don't approve of your engagement? Or if the situation was reversed, would you re-think an engagement if your parents didn't see a future between you and your SO?
What would you do if you were Bobbi? Confront the in-laws? Or just do your best to prove them wrong?
And to end on a happy note, are you excited for your engagement? Tell me why and brighten my day.
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Comments (11)
if you or ur SO's parents do not like u two being together, wouldn't u notice it already prior 2 the proposal? ( assuming you would date a extended amount of period before thinking about marriage).... If Bobbi never known her SO's parents don't like her until her So proposed...then I guess she didn't try to get to know them enough.. and maybe that's y they don't like her???!!!
If my parents didn't approve of my engagement and/or vice versa, I wouldn't re-think the engagement because it's my life. Sorry, but they don't call who I can get to spend the rest of my life with or not.
If I was Bobbie, I wouldn't confront the in-laws. That would even tear the relationship more apart. Instead, I would do my best to prove them wrong and if I can't/don't, I would just mind my own business and so should they.
I was excited for my engagement because I knew that my significant other wanted to spend the rest of his life with ME! :)
There are so many things that should be talked about before getting engaged.
I have been engaged 3 times. I have been married 0 times.
1st time...he(#1) proposed while on the phone with his exwife and I was trying to pack my things to run as far away as possible. To make this even more special his idea was to move back in with his ex AFTER we were hitched for at least a year till his youngest child could understand that daddy was not with mommy anymore.
Of course this just made me pack faster.
2nd time...at dinner with his (he#2) entire family and his parents told him (26 at the time) that he was too young and if he insisted on going ahead with the question they wouldn't be at his wedding. AND they would cut off all the money they supplied him with.
3rd time he (#3) proposed on the phone while we were on the phone with his mother. We had been dating a month. I didn't say yes or no. He and his mother planned out the whole wedding with what colors (my least favorite colors) who was going to be the bridesmaides and grooms men, date, church, minister, what to eat. By the morning he called my mother took us out to get the dress, picked out a horrid thing, made sure it was paid for (yes I was protesting), picked out the invites (still protesting and wanting to run far far away), ordered the cake,... within 40 hours everything was set and I still was saying I wasn't going to marry him (he was treatening violence on me and my son). He called it off and I thank God that he did.
If my SO's parents didn't approve, I'd be terribly upset, but at the same time, they'd be my in laws soon enough and they don't have to see me all that often. I'd keep my head up high, and express my concerns with him, so he can express them to his parents. It's not up to me to confront them, because they won't listen to me. The best thing to do here is to just ignore her anger. Same with the reverse.
Do my best to prove them wrong. If they don't think I'm a great cook, I will prove them wrong. They don't think I'm perfect enough for their son, prove them wrong. It's my job to host, plan, and create the wedding. They just show up and get walked down the aisle. Every aspect will be done for me, by me, and I will hope that their minds get blown.
I'm extremely excited to become engaged. I don't have Bobbi's Problem. My future in laws adore me. I've got some of the wedding planned already (cake, where the ceremony is taking place, and flowers). I've pretty much narrowed down my bridesmaid selection. Now I just have to wait for my SO to propose. We're getting married after I graduate college but I want him to propose now. =P Most of the wedding is gonna be DIY, so I'm going to have an absolute blast. =D
With my particular parents, if they didn't approve of my engagement, it would be because no one is good enough for me™. So I would disregard and tell them to be happy for me, or else they weren't invited to the wedding. I'm here to make my own mistakes, if it would be such a terrible one.
If in-laws didn't approve, I'm sure I could charm them- I'm good with parents.I'm kinda getting to the stage in my life where I'm about ready to settle down and start thinking about the future- plus, all my friends are getting engaged/married, so it's not like it would be Sex and the City up in here, it would be "Christina's the only unmarried one, let's set her up on a blind date with that confirmed bachelor/douchebag-we're-sure-can-change/guy-who-lives-with-his-mother-and-is-40." So, yes, I'm excited to get engaged, provided I can snag the right guy.
When it comes to my relationships, my parent's opinions are totally irrelevant. I love them, but if they don't like who I date, they can kiss my ass.
when i got engaged it was everything Id hoped for..his mom new and we came home and told my parents and my dad got the biggest smile iv ever seen. we also had been dating for almost 4 years so they all kind of new it was coming.
I highly advise against picturing and perfect ANYTHING in a relationship. Whether it's engagement, marriage, honeymoon, children, whatever. Life sucks and most of the time your never gonna get what you imagine.
However to be more on topic there is a two ended sword about your/his parents not liking the other. On the one side, it's your life and you should do what it takes to make you happy. On the other (at least it should be in most cases) your parents are still trying to look out for whats best for you and still want to help you. So sometimes asking them what they don't like about your SO is helpful sometimes.
im the type of person that would get the cold feet. && my mom is chill enough that she would care who proposed. i think its so dumb when parents who already had their time fuck up a perfectly good moment for someoneelsebecause it was to their standards...
I'm super happy to be engaged. :)
My fiance called his parents soon after he asked me to tell them I said yes and his mom got on the phone with me and said congratulations and that's she's so happy and everything. So I never really had to worry about that part anyway, thankfully.
I'm getting engaged later this year and I know for a FACT his mother will not like this,but we have been together for almost 2 years.
My parents know we are getting engaged later this year,but I know they will also be a little iffy about it when it actually happens. It really does not matter to me because we will be engaged for almost 5 years(personal story), but it's whatever. They will all know before it happens though.