Wednesday, 23 June 2010
-
A Relationship Is Not A One-Sided Thing
There’s so much that makes love work and each other them is vital, but lately it seems my thinking is outdated in many ways. I recently was shocked by the fact that couples nowadays don’t wanna give and only think of themselves even in relationships and it seems like this in every relationship I’ve seen. Lovingly or not.
The greatest part of love is realizing that you’re not alone, and that you’re not the only one in the relationship, but with another person; yet it’s treated like that and I don’t understand that. They act like they don’t understand the importance of sacrifice in a relationship, that they can do whatever and it won’t affect anything; of course that’s not the case. Because when you’re in a relationship, you have to be considerate about your SO’s feelings, needs etc; but these couples I see, don’t pay attention to that. They play love like a little game, even the long term ones.
It makes me sad to see love so diluted from such a pure feeling to something completely dirty and makes me believe that what I believe in old and outdated in some respects. I guess I just believe in being selfless in love, and thinking of others before myself (as I’m not that much a selfish person) and sacrificing something when needed be for the relationship, whether it be something small or so big.
Of course I know two couples that are like that.
It’s sad to see how, love has become and that people might of forgotten about it entirely and say it’s love, when it’s not.
What do you think makes love work? And would you be willing to do anything for you SO, whether it be a sacrifice, big or little?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Hinase@xanga
- About Me: I'm just a weird, crazy and creative person to the max ;P
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 19 Views: 0 47321 Comments: 0 645 View all posts by Hinase@xanga
Comments (17)
Communication makes love work.
Plain and simple.
Love is diluted now a days. And sometimes games is all it is.
Its really sickening!
@aeriebaby88@xanga - i agree with you i actually had a friend who took the guy i like cause i should have "stepped up my game". yeah i ended that friendship. i had looked at her and said exactly what game am i attempting to play? i dont play games.
I just don't like when someone says "What do you want?" it's a two way thing and I want your opinion in the matter, I can't be alone in this.
My last relationship was very one-sided. I was trying way too hard and letting myself become way too emotionally vulnerable, while my SO was detached. There was a lack of communication and honesty. Both of those things are vital for a relationship to work. Obviously, not every couple is compatable but you need to actually put in effort to make it work.
Love is no different today than it was yesterday. People have always been selfish, reckless creatures. And frankly you have no business criticizing other people's relationships. There is no one "right" way for two people to love each other, as long as both are happy. We all have our own formulas for success in relationships, but it's up to the parties involved to decide what is and isn't working.
There are many things required in a relationship to make it work and to make it last. A relationship not only requires love, communication, trust, compatibility, and respect. But it requires a commitment from both sides - from the man and from the woman. Each gender brings something unique to the relationship, something that the other simply cannot bring naturally. That is why a relationship will not work if only the man or only the woman is putting effort in to the relationship. For example - think of an airplane, it would be extremely difficult and even impossible for an airplane to stay in the air if it only had one wing. It would be the same for a bird.
Justice For Love
@soulfuric@lovelyish - It has changed immensely..though it's all merely an opinion and observation..and the study of other couple friends.
I think I base a fulfilling relationship on two things: Happiness and Communication...both of which desire Selflessness and Sacrifice.
@soulfuric@lovelyish - she has every right to criticize it, as long as she realizes that people can only change if they want to and that she has no control over it. there may not be one "right" way, but i think the point of this was to say that if a relationship is one-sided you simply WON'T be happy, or at least both people won't be.
@Hinase@xanga - I think it's because people are afraid they will get the short end of the stick. No matter how much people preach equality, it's impossible to achieve. Someone will always be a little more selfless than the other, so that person loses. It's also hard to find a nice balance between being selfless and being true to yourself at the same time.
@Kittyluve@xanga - Very true..we're not perfect beings for sure, but we should always try to be better than ourselves regardless, try. People won't hate us much for trying, especially so hard.
But if you're being selfish on purpose...then yeah...I don't mind being the only one sacrificing, I just wish he'd show his appreciation every once in a while.
my bf always tells me that communication is what makes our relationship work and it's definitely true. when we communicate with each other and say what we need to say to each other, the relationship is smooth and it's like we're both so happy but when there's misunderstandings, we always end up in a fight.
the other day, my bf and i were in a disagreement, i got pretty emotional and i told him how i truly felt and asked if he felt the same for me and it wasn't a response i wanted to her. i'm the type of person that puts everyone in front of her to make sure they're happy and feel good first before myself, but he's the complete opposite. he likes being taken care of and thought of but wants to be the only one.
love isn't complicated but we make it out to be because we're selfish beings.
@Hinase@xanga - I doubt you were alive over the centuries to monitor the relative quality of romance. Movies and literature are hardly concrete methods of measuring the reality of love. I think people were just more willing to settle in the past, or more afraid to seek something better, which usually equated to unhappy married women who put food on the table and shut up when their husbands hurt them. I agree with your overarching message that no one should feel neglected or stretched thin in a relationship without their lover putting in the same effort, but I think it's ridiculous whenever people pretend that love was somehow ever "pure," or that it is "dirtier" than it used to be.
@soulfuric@lovelyish - Your opinion of course =)
that's not love. that's infatuation.
big difference.
everyone want's to be in love and to be loved. they'll settle for lust and infatuation. now i'm not saying it's all heartless. they may, yes, care for this person, but if they don't give it their all, entirely without question, then it's not real love. simple as that.
how to know for sure? ask yourself, "would i die for so and so?"
......if two seconds have passed and you haven't answered yet, then it's not true love.
Not interested in doing all that right now. If I were married, sure.