On Sunday, on my way to celebrate Father's Day, I got a text from my SO saying that his dad had asked why I hadn't called to say "Happy Father's Day." Wait, what?
At first I didn't know whether to laugh or to feel bad for not calling. I reasoned that yes, my boyfriend's new sister-in-law should have called (which she did), but me? I'm just his girlfriend, not a daughter-in-law obligated to bid him a happy father's day. Right? Of course, he is still a father, but I thought it would just be weird if I went out of my way and gave him a call on the hallmark holiday.
But it made me wonder nonetheless. I have spent time with my boyfriend's family throughout our relationship, even going so far as meeting his immediate and extended family. His parents, especially his father, always hugs me when he sees me, and I know that his parents are beginning to see (and love) that our relationship is getting serious. If we weren't always away from home and doing long distance, I know that I would spend more time with his family.
So while I am not a daughter-in-law by any means, I wondered if it would be okay or even good to call my boyfriend's parents, on Father's Day or just any other day. I know his parents like me, but there are (and should be?) boundaries in my relationship with them just as there are still boundaries in my relationship with my boyfriend.
What would you have done in my situation? Did you wish your SO's father a happy father's day? Do you talk to your SO's parents or family members regularly?
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Comments (19)
My boyfriend's dad doesn't like me no matter what I do so.. It's really up to you. Do what you want to do.
Yes. I still msg my ex's mom on significant things like mother's day and her birthday... she's a nice lady!
both our dad's effed our families over, fairly recently .... sooooooo. ... naw...
lol, well from a family that isn't suffering from drama... i didn't call my man's dad. nor did i call his mom for mother's day.
very good question though
I live with my boyfriend and his parents, so I do see them regularly. I bought his mom some gifts for Mother's Day to show my appreciation, but I didn't buy anything for his dad this past Father's Day for two reasons: I had no idea what he would want and I felt awkward, and I didn't buy my own dad anything. That would have seemed strange to buy another person's father something, in that case. And I only did not get my father something because of personal family issues.
My SO's parents are lovely, wonderful people. I did SAY happy Father's Day, if that counts?
Well if your relationship is as serious as you say it is, then why should the way you treat his family now differ from how you would treat his family if you were married? Its just a phone call. You're not obligated to get him a gift or anything.
I posted on my boyfriend's dad's wall for Father's Day! I like his parents, and his parents like me. I haven't IMed with his dad lately, but I enjoy being around them at his house and at church. Family dates are fun.
I spent the morning with my father, then went to my grandmothers house with my dad for fathers day.
Then after, I had dinner and a movie with my SO and his parents.
My SO and I have only been dating 4.5 months and I've already gone on 4 dates with them :)
I think for your situation a call would be good because you are that close. A call will not break the boundaries, and it shows that you care enough about his family to say Happy fathers day.
@beanything37@xanga - Wow! That sounds great.. I've only spent time with his parents around the house or at big family functions. I would love to go on a date with him and his parents soon. Thanks for your comment!
@Katja88@xanga - I agree :) I love going over when his parents are around
@wideopenskies@xanga - Yeah, I think it would really have been weird had I gotten him a present!
I sent my boyfriend's parents Mother's Day/Father's Day cards.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years now, so I've gotten to know his family pretty well. He left for the Navy last December, and his family has really reached out to me since and included me in things even though my SO isn't here. It means a lot to me, they really are like my second family. I felt it was only right to send them a nice card :)
Well, I live with my SO's parents and I've known them for eleven years. He's my future father-in-law, so of course I say Happy Father's Day. I guess it depends on your relationship and how close you are with the parents.
I wouldn't say as a general rule or anything that you should or shouldn't, it would depend totally on how comfortable you and even they would be with that. It sounds like you probably wouldn't mind, so if you had thought of it first, why not?
Uhmm.. No. Lol. My boyfriend's dad isn't around much and when he is... he only talks to me when he's drunk.. =/
I talk to his step mom most days. His family situation is kinda complicated. Lol.
@XxXiXLoVeDXHiMXxX@xanga - I see. Yeah, sometimes there are just complications in the family, which is always understandable.
I miss my ex's dad so much. I wish i could've called, but my ex would've freaked. such a bummer :(
If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't had called either bc like you said, I'm just the girlfriend.
@michellenose@lovelyish - anytime (:
I texted him, actually. I love my SOs family. They're amazing people. (:
We've been dating for almost three years, and when we first started dating his parents absolutely hated me. But over time they started liking me. His dad even invited me to spend the night on New Years. (Of course my mother promptly turned down the invitation for me. rawrawrawr)
I'd only do it if I was engaged or married to him. Otherwise, that's a bit creepy. The only people I do that for are people I'm related to and the people I babysit for.