Monday, 21 June 2010
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Between a Hot Wing and a Hard Place
A few days ago, one of our wonderful contributors, michellenose@lovelyish, posted this lovely post that detailed her dual romance for her SO and hot wings. Ah, sounds like a match made in Buffalo Wild Wings Heaven. :)
Reading through the post, though, it got me thinking. I have always had this weird thing about eating in front of guys. Let me preface this by saying that I do not suffer from an eating disorder, and this post really isn't meant to pertain to anything anorexia, bulimia, or binge-eating related.
Me? I love food. I love to cook, bake and eat. In fact, just last night, I baked three different types of cookies, just for the heck of it. There's also something about being in a relationship that makes me want to cook and bake even more. I'm a gift giver and acts of service do-er by nature, so one of my favorite ways to show I care is to whip up something delicious for my SO. In fact, the reason for last night's over abundance of baking was that my SO is leaving on a short trip with his guy friends for the next week, and I wanted to give them a little send off treat to remember me by. Well, for as long as the confections last, that is. Which, now that I think of it, probably won't be much longer than the duration of the car ride. But I digress.Back to michellenose's post, though. Reading about her hot wing hot date night, I was confronted by a small twinge of jealousy. I've never been THAT comfortable eating around my SO. I've gotten much better, but there's still something about scarfing down a double cheeseburger in front of him (or most guys, for that matter) that makes me cringe. I can and will eat in front of my SO, but I feel stupidly pressured doing so. Like I have to be lady-like or something.
I also have a weird tendency with eating out, where I classify certain foods as more "date appropriate" than others. Let's just say hot wings don't make the cut. Steak? No way. Hamburgers? Probably not. My date-safe food? Usually chicken (er .. just not wings). How weird is that?? What is it about chicken that I associate with being more of a "feminine" dish than beef? Excuse my rant, but even I don't understand my psychology behind this one.
I suppose it's just a quirk that I'm bound to overcome, but it's ever-present in the back of my mind nonetheless.
Datingish readers: Do you have any weird food related dating ritual quirks?
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- From: stateofhart
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Comments (18)
I'm a vegetarian, but I know what you're talking about.
I wouldn't eat any of my "weird veg" food infront of a guy. This will probably change after I live with someone, but until then, I'll keep my Tofurkey out of sight and stick with something safe.
I love food too much to hide it. I used to be hesitant to eat a lot on dates but then I realized that it was dumb of me to bar myself from my favorites for some guy who may or may not stay with me forever cause eventually he'll see me eat normally! One guy I went on a date with actually told me "wow it's so unladylike to eat so much food", I was about ready to punch him. -__-"
My current boyfriend loves food as much as I do and doesn't mind eating 30 meals a day with me. :) We go out and eat 18oz. steaks every other week and scarf down 1 pound burgers at Fuddruckers.
Eh? I eat whatever I want in front of my guy. He doesn't care. I put ketchup on turkey (oh the horror!!!!) and he just chuckles.
I'll preface this by saying that I am in recovery for an ED, but I have gotten way more comfortable eating around people. However, when around an SO or on a date, I tend to be a really slow eater and I try not to get too much to eat. I always get dessert though. It also depends on how comfortable I am with the person. On my first date with my current SO, before I started recovery, I was ridiculously comfortable eating dessert and everything. I'm afraid of the boys judging me and thinking I'm a weird eater so I try to be as normal as possible.
I had an ex who told me a story about this girl he dated who ordered a huge expensive salad, ate 2 bites, and said she was full and he wasn't happy about that. He always told me that he'd rather me order a steak if I was going to eat it all. Ever since then I really didn't care about eating in front of guys. One the first date with my now husband we went to Steak & Shake and I got chicken tenders & 2 orders of cheese fries. I never use a fork with cheese fries, I use my fingers. So I was picking them up and plopping them in my mouth and getting cheese all over my fingers and a drop or two on my jeans. He thought it was hilarious and even today I tell him that he fell for me because of how I ate my cheese fries
Not really. I just eat normally and without any rituals. Though I still don't understand why girls are afraid to eat in front of their boyfriends O.o; I never got that. it's like they are going to be judged or something..if I'm hungry, I'll eat. Don't care who's there.
We eat together, so that works.
I'm a very slow eater. I mean it, I eat like an old person. I don't want to be rude though by holding up my date when he's finished eating and then he has to wait for me to finish.....so whenever we go out, I order from the kid's menu. Yeah, he will giggle at me. The portions are smaller (and sometimes you get a free toy!) and by the time he's done eating so am I! haha ^_^
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - I really love the way your ex put that anecdote. It's something I'll have to keep in mind.
@Hinase@xanga - Well, I think you just have to consider that everyone is going to have different levels of comfort when it comes to everyday situations. I may not be comfortable eating in front of people all the time, but public speaking or wearing a bathing suit in public doesn't faze me. I think it's more just about your personal comfort zone rather than trying to "get why."
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - I really love that anecdote that your boyfriend shared. I'm going to have to keep that one in mind!
@stateofhart - That's true. Though I would usually think eating wouldn't be such a big thing, but maybe some people are bothered by it. I guess I never cared because I do love food xD I can understand now why people wouldn't feel comfortable about eating around their boyfriends or whatever. I didn't think about it like that either..the whole level of comfort thing. LOL
My boyfriend encourages me to eat more if anything. He always eats a ton and always acts shocked when I'm not hungry when he's about to eat his third lunch. He's almost 20 though so maybe he'll slow down. He is type 1 so he can't really keep alot of weight on himself. I eat whatever I want, I don't really like meats and I love dessert. I am thin so no one cares if I order a hot fudge sundae, I'm not judged.
I'm allergic to cheese, makes going for pizza weird.
i'm a big foodie. it's quite a plus when a girl isn't afraid to pig out with me. i highly doubt i'm alone on this. i think girls care more about that than guys, seriously.
Hmm. I guess from someone else's point of view, my date-eating habits could seem weird because I'm impossible to take anywhere for food. I'm a vegetarian, so it's weird to tell someone straight out, "We can't go to ______ because they don't have anything for me that I'll eat." I usually just go wherever I'm taken and suck it up, order a salad with chicken and either give that away or take it home for someone else to munch on later.
I don't mind eating in front of guys/dates, but I HATE eating in front of ANYONE at work on break. I HATE when I go to the breakroom and there are already 2 people having lunch there, and then I have to sit down and make small talk and eat whatever in front of them. It's weird for me for some reason :( Also, if I'm out eating somewhere alone and someone I know comes along and is like, "Hey sjhgiugjdfkg, do you mind if I sit with you?" I always say no. I want to eat alone, don't watch me eat!
Whenever I'm eating with other people I get very picky, as in, I will pick apart my food, especially burgers. I'll eat the lettuce, the top of the bun, the patty and usually leave the bottom part. Makes me feel a little bit more lady like than chomping on this big burger.
haha guys know i eat a lot no food is date friendly when im eating because i end up with the stare and then the phrase "you eat a lot for a girl" .... but i usually get pasta
Maybe I'm just...weird... haha! My SO and I are total foodies, from quality Italian to even wings. I never really knew anyone who had a sort of foods that she wouldn't eat in front of a guy.. I just don't think I could ever do it (I love meat too much). I'm sure your current SO would love it if you guys could have a hearty meal together (not just chicken)... try Brazilian bbq! It's so fun and I'm sure he'd totally love seeing you eat other meats than chicken :)
I generally eat exactly what i want to eat, it doesnt matter who is watching. i eat "weird" vegetarian food too but I would never be afraid to eat that in front of a guy. I mean, i'm the kind of girl who will on a regular basis buy a whole chicken and eat it herself. I am very passionate about food/eating. you just can't hide that, and you shouldnt.
The only time i feel like i should make a conscious choice about what I'm eating is if i want to make sure I'm not eating anything super messy. Finger food i feel should be avoided unless your at a bar. i mean who wants to get all messy when your dressed up and sitting at a table in a nice place? :)
I used to only have a drink when I went out with my then-boyfriend. Soon however I began starving when I was out with him and would be more embarrassed by my stomach growling than actually ordering food. So I decided to order food and eat it! Best choice whilst dating. :) No matter what it was I couldn't just not eat it.