Saturday, 19 June 2010

• Popping the Question: When Was The Last Time You Were Tested?

   

  Sexually transmitted diseases, infections and viruses are a reality for all who partake in risky behavior. Risky behavior is engaging in any and all sexual activity. Whenever you enter the sheets with someone, you're putting yourself and the other person at risk. No prophylactic or protective barrier is 100% full proof. Do you always protect yourself when you're sexually active? How do you pop the biggest question of our lifetime?

  It's no longer awkward to ask about your partner's STD history, the date of  their last sexual partner and STD test. These questions are mandatory and your entitled to the answer. If your partner gets defensive about answering any of the above questions, you have your answer. Don't take it there with them. A person with nothing to hide can answer these questions unhesistantly.

  Getting regular check-ups every 6 months should be a non-negotiable facet of every sexually active individuals annual regimen. If you're active and not getting tested regularly, please do so. It only takes one person at one time to spread a deadly disease that can infect hundreds of people.

  For me, asking is never enough. I am the woman who demands the print out from the last test. I'm not even close to being facetious or funny. "I can show my blood work! So where's yours?" I can say to someone. Be confident in your entitlement to documented proof of medical condition. If you'll allow someone to fondle and pentrate your genitals, s/he should know what both of you are getting into.

  Don't wait to catch a man with his pants down on this. In the moment, anything to advance the process for your partner will suffice. Realistically, some people don't feel obligated to disclose their HIV or medical condition to a partner especially if said partner is a random hook-up. Be aware that some people are jaded from being infected unknowingly also. People operate on different moral compasses and the only moral compass that you can trust is your own. The only person who is responsible for protecting and caring about you is you.

  Contracting an STD or HIV affects a person and the relationship that s/he's in. I imagine that s/he feels upset, betrayed, and unhealthy. I've heard some cases of a person learning of his or her status and remaining in the relationship with the infectant out of fear of never being wanted by someone else. That's a shame and my heart goes out to these people. Manipulation and coercion plays the main role in these infectant and infectee relationships. Safeguard your psyche from this trauma.

  Show you partner how much you care about them and your relationship by getting tested together! Your relationship will be rooted in honesty, transparency and trust. Building from such a strong core leaves hope for a fortified future! Be safe not sorry.

  So, how do you pop the big question? If you had a medical condition that would affect your partner, would you be upfront about it? Would you feel insulted if someone asked you to get tested with them?  

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