Thursday, 17 June 2010
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"You're Like A Man To Me."
Last night, I went out for coffee with my ex. We're trying to be friends; you know how it is. While we were sitting there and talking, he told me that I was like a man to him, that's how good of friends we are. And I thought to myself... excuse me?
I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing.
We dated for over three years and we were basically in love with each other for nine years. Does this mean that he doesn't look at me and see a girl anymore? I was actually pretty insulted and I retorted by saying that fine, he could be a girl to me.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever been told this? Would you be insulted, or would it be a good sign of a friendship on the mend?
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- From: materialactress@xanga
- About Me: I'm just a tacky college student. I'm studying HDFS in order to be a relationships counselor, although my relationships could always use a little work. I'm obsessed wtih Star Wars and koala bears, and I'm very tall but, no, I do not play basketball or volleyball.
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Comments (49)
Oh man I hate that! I've been told that I'm just "the cool guy with long hair...and boobs.' I think they mean it as a compliment, but thats not exactly what I want to hear!
loll that pisses me off more than anything. "Hey, Kirsten. Go long! Come on! Catch like you've got some balls!" FCK you guys. I don't have balls.
Guys truly do say the darnedest things. We don't often think before opening our mouths, working out all the logistics of what we think might be the greatest compliment for you to receive.
I know I've let fly some doozies that had my gal up in arms.
He probably meant well but I can see how you'd find that annoying.
that guy is an idiot -_-; they don't often think before talking...
Nah, never had that happen. I'm too much of a girl..or my friends didn't say of that? That's probably why.
i hate guys says i can hang with the boys. i mean, i love the fact that i can, but i still want to be seen as a girl.
he means it in the best possible way though, dont worry
He means it in a good way, he's just put it really badly. Probably didn't think it through at all ^_^
If someone said that to me I'd say the same as you and then guilt-trip him into letting me put make-up on him, after which we will both agree that neither of us want sex changes thank you very much (..unless of course the experience changes his mind o_O)
It's not an insult. That's basically the highest compliment a guy can give a girl. So don't think so harshly about it.
Wow, I'd be pissed if a guy said that to me, I'd be like, "No thanks, I'm a girl, and I like being a girl."
I'm sure it was intended as a compliment--but the statement itself implies, "you're not a woman because I can't be friends with women," which raises a few red flags. I HATE when anybody says this shit, because it implies that being a woman is bad, etc.
lol... I'd be a little weirded out.
Maybe he has to force himself to think of you on more manly terms because otherwise he'd *still* be in love with you. Perhaps you're just so awesome that he has to psychologically put you in a different gender category so that those old feelings won't come back to haunt him since you are such good friends and thus probably pretty close.
i honestly dont find it a bad thing to say.. at all.....i have been told that many times. But i mostly hang with the boii's i have more really good guy friends that i adore than girl friends and when they say kayla your like one of the guys they arnt saying "hey yuu look like a dude" or yuu smell like a dude they are jus implying that you are cool to hang out with. its just like saying to a guy who likes to hang with more girls, your like one of us its playful humor that shouldnt be taken seriously. :)
They need a better choice of diction. I wouldn't know how I'd react if someone said it to me. =T
My best friend is a guy, and he's definitely had his missteps around me. Once, we were in an argument and he said, "I forget you're a girl sometimes...". I didn't really know what to make of it...I still don't. It's just one of those things where both sexes have different mindsets, and messages can be "lost in translation", if you will.
I'd be happy. I'd prefer that to being told I'm like all the other "crazy," "manipulative" women out there.
I've had the inverse done several times. Multiple women I've been close to have commented that I'm 'like one of the girls' which always leaves me feeling awkward. It's understandable why you'd have a negative reaction, I don't particularly enjoy having people apply the incorrect gender to me.
am a guy so that has never happen to me but i might have done a thing twice to a hundred times with the nastiest compliment or the weirdest cuss i just open ma mouth and let it flow and trust me freestling is everything in ur mind coming out without filtering and ma mind is the nastiest so GUILTY as charged lol
IF he actually means it, it means he just doesn't see you as a sexual interest anymore. He got past the sexual tension that is so typical between men and women (often even when they're just friends) and can have a purely platonic relationship with you now. I think this often happens after serious relationships break up. You've come to know each other so well, have became so comfortable with one another that you're usually also best friends. After the realationship ends (if it's mutual and no cheating etc. is involved) this aspect remains intact, but the realisation that in the end you didn't work out as lovers is enough to lose the sexual side of the relationship.
He probably thinks of you as a man cos he's so comfortable with you. It's not a completely bad thing, but it is bad if you still have interest in him. He might not see you sexually attractive anymore ;x
Well it's bad if you want him to think of you as someone he wants to have sex with, but personality wise I am fairly sure I know what he means and I'm almost certain you should take it as a compliment.
Check out my dating disasters:
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Are you sure you aren't just overanalyzing his words?
They say men are a lot simpler than women; if he's giving you a compliement, then he's giving you a compliment.
I know if I said it, it would definitely be a compliment. Tomboys are so much better than girly girls. Hell, I'm more likely to want to date a girl if she's more like "one of the guys."
I've gotten similar comments, but only from close male friends. Because most of the girls they interact with are so bitchy, I found being called "not really a girl [to me]" very flattering.
... What? xD
I would've left.