Thursday, 17 June 2010
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The Challenge You Face In Your Relationship
What I notice about relationships is that you WILL always have some sort of challenge and someone is most likely to interfere. It doesn’t matter how long you been with your SO, how much you can trust your best friend, and how easily you can ignore the things people say. Lets just face it, we WILL always have some sort of challenge.Lets just say you’ve been with your SO for over two years, everything is perfect all except one thing, someone is trying to interfere. You will always meet people who always claim to be better than your SO, trying to point out all the “problems” you’re having with your SO, and what your SO wouldn’t do even if their life depended on it.
So this person who can be anyone from your best friend to a complete stranger will do anything to turn your head. That would include showering you with gifts (happened to me before), compliment you constantly, and if they are the shoulders you have always cried on they would say something like this “if I was your man/woman, I would never treat you this way.”I believe for a minute we start to think “is my SO really worth being with?” and we just become confused. We don’t know who we want or what we want, and we will always end up trying to compare the two, which is also easy to do. I believe the mistake that some people make is leaving their SO for someone who they think is better only to find out that this person was never truly faithful. I mean, there are people who do leave their SO for someone else and everything turns out fine. So I guess it goes both ways, either you’re happy or just miserable.
Sometimes I believe that the challenges you face in your relationship is just a test, a test to see how faithful you are, how honest you are, how much you truly love your SO, and if you’re really worth being with.
What challenges did you face your relationship? Was the challenge really worth it?
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- From: NeoSoul
- Name: NeoSoul
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Comments (14)
I had to face that a lot when I was with my ex..my advice is to not anything in your mind or else doubt will happen. And doubt is not needed especially when you're having a great relationship .Just don't allow things to bother you...It's hard but it's possible..
I think it just makes sense to look at a relationship from a logical perspective to see if it's worth staying in the relationship. If the benefits outweigh the costs, stay. If not, leave. And make this determination regardless of any other people around you that you would potentially date. These peolpe are putting on their best face to get you; they aren't as perfect as they seem.
Another guy/girl would never come between me and my SO. I've had guys try to "get at me" and he's had plenty of girls come after him, and we just brush it off. However, we do have a road block we're currently dealing with, which is his family. They are jealous because he's never been so serious with a girl and they know they're losing him to me. :)
The distance is definitely a test of our love. Because of it, we've both had times when we've been tempted by others and could have gotten away with cheating. But, our relationship holds strong, and stronger still because of it.
Distance has been the biggest test to my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm happy to report we are currently passing with flying colors! :)
Its true nothing is ever smooth sailing. There were two women who came in between us. Trying to show him that they are much better than me but for some reason Im the one my bf wants even after 5 yrs of dating
The past is probably the biggest roadblock for my SO and me. It comes at us full-force, but I have to reassure him that I'm not going anywhere.
Distance is our challenge, but more than that we've never even met in person before. So really, it's more like our challenge is overcoming the past 3 years without each other, and another one to come. As soon as we get through it, then we'll get to have the rest of our lives together. (:
Me and my boyfriend have been living together (at my parents house) for nearly 6 months because he was having trouble saving money at his last place because his sister was a bitch and stole so much of his money. We've been together for two years this september, which is my longest relationship and i've never been in a smoother relationship. Don't get me wrong, we've had our arguements. Usually about him going out as he's a year older than me and i couldn't go out to the places he went. Its not that i didn't trust him, i just didn't trust anybody else that was there. He's such a friendly guy, meaning he met so many people when he went out, along with alot of girls who i got jealous of simply because i was having self esteem problems.
Then he started getting angry with me because my best friend is a guy, but we've moved on and were amazingly happy at the moment. Considering nobody thought we would last because he was somewhat of a "ladies man" before we met, i think we've done pretty damn good.
In my last serious relationship, our challenge was that we were just too freaking different. We tried as hard as we possibly could to understand each other but it just wasn't happening; we made each other miserable, so no, it honestly wasn't worth it. I loved him so much, but it just wasn't healthy to be with someone who so deeply did not understand me.
The words "seven year age difference" do cross my mind. *SIGH* Obviously beginning to date a 21 year old when you're still in your last few months of 8thhhhh grade sounds pretty creepyweird, doesn't it? Yeah, I was 14/15, he was 21/22...I can't even explain it..>_>
This will be lengthy: I lost all of my close friends except for two at some point during the relationship because of disapproval, etc. (they all came back eventually), and a lot of friends that I had beforehand just up-front told me I was being ridiculous and never talked to me again. My father and I have an extremely strained relationship now because he disapproves of the boy and he has tried to forbid me from even talking to him multiple times, which made things pretty difficult. There were a few months where we had to sneak around behind everyone's (family, friends, the law) backs just to see each other once in a while. Half of my family doesn't even know his real age because they would beat him to a bloody pulp if they did. He's been hardcore threatened by both our familes, actually. I can't hang out with him and his friends too often because I'm so much younger. I've got a weird reputation at my school. Some of his friends don't even know about the extent of the relationship because I guess he thinks it'd be too much on them. Etc. etc. etc.
And yet we lasted through all that and much more for about a year...and all of that only made us so much stronger. It was ourselves that messed things up. We're in a really weird not-officially-dating-but-somewhat-trying-to-work-things-out-between-each-other-anyway phase right now.
My boyfriend and I have been having major financial problems. We moved in together, but he got laid off at one job and was fired from two after that for flimsy reasons and under circumstances that were not fair or reasonable. Because of the trouble he's had getting back on his feet and overcoming the trouble in his past, my parents have had some issues with trusting that he is the best choice for me. My mom especially I think is concerned that this job cycle will continue and that it's because of something he's doing wrong.
However, I see firsthand everyday how incredibly persevering and hard-working he is (both of us are attending school full-time right now also), and I know that he needs support more than ever right now and that he would do the same for me. He has never had anyone very supportive in his life, but I know that sticking with him through this will be well worth it. And at least through having all these crappy jobs with asshole bosses, he is learning how NOT to run a business and how NOT to be a good manager, which is knowledge that could come in handy later.
God, I know I've been asking myself that question lately.
Our only problem, though he doesn't realize it, is how serioulsy OCD he is. Everything has to be his way and just so. I've lived with him for over a year now and I can't have anything of mine in his room- because it doesn't have a place. Everything has to have a place, be put up or put back. I can't even leave a book on a table without him sighing about it.
All he does is play video games all day or hang out with his friends who only talk about girls, subs, rap (hate it), getting fucked up...etc. So all I can do is lay around and read or sew. No computer, no TV, no phone. So, I sleep a LOT. He gets mad about me sleeping, but come on, what else am I supposed to do? Talk about chicks?
And he's always pissed off about something, always ranting and raving. Usually he takes it out on me cos I'm the only one there. I take it, cos I just want him to get it all out, but hearing that all day makes me miserable. Man, I've cried a lot.
He's really sweet when we're ready to go to bed, and I'm overwhelmed with love then, or random moments in the day when everything is calm.. but other than that I'm like "Jeez, I need to move out."
I need to talk with him about this, cos, we're engaged and I really don't want the rest of my life to be like this. I love him but it's got to change.
@quicktofall - That sounds just like me and my fiancee! We've got like a whole 10 things in common. that's a BIG problem in our relationship. We can never agree. What he loves, I hate and vice versa. My life and my soul is writing, but he hates it so it's like he can't even know who I am really. x_x But you really did love him? Like a lot? Cos I know I love my fiancee, more than anything... but we are really effing miserable.
@EdieUnderground@xanga - I loved him as much as I knew
how. How we thought of the world for each of us was almost exactly the
same, which was a good similarity to have, but we move through life in
completely opposite ways. It made it really hard for us to move through
life together. And you know what's weird? I'm really into writing too, and he tried to be a writer so we'd have something in common, but... he really sucked at it and he knew it. It was just another thing that pushed us apart. Yeah, I do still love him, and maybe part of me always will. But I couldn't be in a relationship with him; it was toxic for the both of us. I don't know if your situation with your fiancee is at all like mine was with him, but if you're really that miserable, I'd say get out of it. I know it sucks, and it is going to be really hard regardless of what you decide to do. I hope you'll figure out what's right for you, and that it works out all right <3