Tuesday, 15 June 2010
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Cheating At a Game I Just Can't Stop Playing!
I got an email from this guy that I used to..."fling" with. Basically, we met, talked a lot, went out once or twice, then were pretty much just fuck buddies for a while. The attraction was pretty deep, he was smokin' hot and incredibly good. The problem with it was... I was already married to my guy throughout the whole thing.
It was a mistake, a big one. I know. We cut ties about a year ago, I deleted his number, his email address, and I deleted him off of my friend list from Myspace and Facebook. About six months later he sent me a private message on Facebook and said that he really wanted to see me.
If you have read any of my previous entries, you know that I am not happy in my marriage; I messaged him back and hooked up with him one more time. He is the only guy that has ever given me real butterflies in my stomach.
After that night we added each other as friends on Facebook again, only this time I saw that his relationship status was "In a Relationship". I was pretty surprised to see that, and I asked him about it. He told me that he'd been dating her for a couple of months, but that he just wanted to see me.
A month later his relationship status changed again: "Married." I was shocked and honestly, a little jealous. I was secretly crazy about him, he was the one guy I wanted but knew I could not have. I drew a breath and decided to be the better person; I cut ties once again.
He emailed me today and asked for my phone number, but I was reluctant to give it to him. Guessing that he'd probably deleted it and wouldn't fess up, I simply told him that it was the same one as always. He asked how I was doing, I told him and said that my man was going to be away on business for a while and that I was going back home for a visit.
He immediately said he wanted to see me again and that he'd even fly to my home town to see me. Several emails were sent back and forth of him trying to convince me to see him. I haven't said yes, because I know how wrong it is, but at the same time I WANT to see him really badly.
So if anyone reads this, you should tell me how bad this all is to help me pound it into my head. I know I need to be good and I know I need to try to fix the relationship I have. My marriage needs help, this wouldn't help it and I know it.
I feel so torn. What do you think I should do? Has anyone ever been in a similar position?
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- From: LikeABirdSings@xanga
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Comments (79)
You already know what you need to do. You just need to do it.
Advice from someone else, will never the appropriate. You must do what is right for you. Do things that will make you happy long term and you will be able to be proud of when you look back on it.
someone shoot this girl and chop off the dude's nuts.
You already know what you're doing is wrong, yet you continue to do it.
Does your husband even know you're not happy with the marriage?
I don't know anything about you, but it is pretty obvious that you got married before you were mature enough to handle the responsibility. That said, you have no excuse. Wedding vows are extremely important and to be taken seriously. If you are not happy in your marriage, END IT, or at least separate so that you don't leave your husband in the dark. You need to get over your selfishness and grow up, because this is going to come back and bite you hard in the ass. I hope for you and your husband that you can figure something out to be happier, that doesn't involve hurting each other.
What should you do? I don't know, get a divorce? Separate?
you need to resolve the issues with the one you're with. whether this resolution is separation, counseling, or whatever it may be, you need to be faithful to the vows you have made. you've messed up before. now is your chance to do the right thing. if you're with the wrong person, leave.
Cut ties with him. You know what you are supposed to do.
I think you should stay away from guys until you finally grow up.
Yet again, I am proved right. Women are sluts and whores, man.
you should fix your marriage... theirs a book called " Fireproof" also a movie, (ever heard of Kerk Cameron) I mean who hasn't ? he's in the movie! it's about marriage, and about how you can save it, I highlyrecommend it!
@atmaster@xanga - ahahahaha
:-X
all i have to say to this post is...
WOW
@Revolutionary22@xanga - Uncalled for.
That's a generalization.
Not all women are like that thank you
I'm not gonna bash you like others will b/c I read through some of your Xanga entries. From those, it sounds like that your man isn't a good husband or a good father. Having to raise a child yourself when the other parent won't help out must be emotionally exhausting.
Having said that, I still think you should stop seeing the other guy. Even though you have butterflies for him and he for you, it just prompts that big question -- why marry someone else when you two only had each other on your minds this whole time? At least, that's what it sounds like from what you wrote. If you keep cheating, not only is it wrong, but if your husband finds out, he may very well initiate a divorce and can end up suing you. And there also may be legal custody of your child. That ugly potential right there.
Ideally, you're going to do what's right (stop cheating), and communicate to your husband as to why you're so unhappy with him. Will that make things better? Maybe/maybe not, at least not immediately. Will it be easy? Unlikely. There are no guarantees that things'll be lovey-dovey even if you act right, but at least you'll be doing the right thing.
maybe you need a marriage counselor. or a divorce. or an honest conversation with your husband. But who knows...
@atmaster@xanga - agreed
maybe this is just me, but not being happy in a marriage doesn't give anyone the right to cheat...also before you can tell your husband what you're not happy about him, you need to examine yourself first. you can't take the plank out of someone else eye if you have a plank in your eye too
I could tell you to cut ties, but who knows how long it will be til you give in again.
First off you need to be honest with your husband. Tell him everything.
And then decide if you really want to be with him..cause honestly, if you're so prone to cheating on him, even if it's just with this one guy, then you probably don't want to be with him as much as you may tell yourself you do.
Either you decide that you love your husband and only want to be with him and stay faithful, or you decide to divorce him because he's not the one you want and move on with life.
Stop cheating. Seriously. Figure out what you want and work towards it. You're wasting your life away by playing this little game.
@Revolutionary22@xanga - Because men never cheat.............
@Bacardii_Qween@xanga - Prove it.
@valeriexoxjoleen@xanga - Never said we don't. I can say I don't. Not in a committed relationship,
I think you should get a divorce. This marriage is obviously not working out for you. And even though your husband might be a douche or something, it's still wrong to cheat on him.
you're a terrible and selfish person. i hope i never find anyone like you or the guy you're cheating with.
@Revolutionary22@xanga - I can also say that I have never cheated. When I'm committed to someone, I'm committed to that person and that person alone. And I'm a woman.
o___O
@Autumnxx3@xanga - Agreed.
@Revolutionary22@xanga - You're an idoit. A man is doing it while he's married too but he didnt tell her himself that he was engaged/married. Get over your stupid sexist view. People in general a whores. You're probably secretly a whore. LOL TROLL!