Tuesday, 15 June 2010
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Why Hasn't He Texted Me Yet?: The Woes of Texting
I don't have that much experience on the dating scene, being only 18 years old. However, from experience of my own relationships and others, texting is one of the most troublesome forms of communication you can have with your date.
Picture the scene: After your first date, your date is dropping you off at home. You sit in the car outside your house, thanking each other and expressing how much fun you had. He leans in, and the butterflies start fluttering. You lean in, your lips meet, and you have your first kiss. You skip away from the car to your front door, let yourself in and collapse on the floor in a pile of bliss. You go to sleep dreaming of wedding bells and basonettes. The next day you wake up, and look at your phone, expecting to see a text from your date proclaiming that he's never had a better time in his life and he can't stop thinking about you. But this text you so desperately crave isn't there.
Throughout the day you're left hoping and praying that he texts, and every time your phone beeps, your heart skips a beat. After a few days, you've convinced yourself that you must be a terrible date and have buried yourself in your duvet, refusing to come out until you've nursed your broken heart. Then, when all seems lost, your phone gives a little tinkle. HURRAH! It's him! He asks how you are and explains that he had a great time and would like to do it again sometime.
What was all the fuss about?
Texting (or a lack of) causes a ridiculous amount of worry, heartache, jealousy, concern and a whole heap of other emotions that you had no idea you could feel. What happened to the good old days when people weren't constantly worrying that they'd been ignored, forgotten about or worst of all, that they'd been a mistake and their date regretted ever going to that restaurant with them in the first place?
So what do you think? Are texts worth as much hassle as they cause? Do you stress over texting, whether receiving or sending one?
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- From: My_Immortal00x@xanga
- Name: Ciara
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Comments (61)
...I've never assumed that someone would text me to say he had a great time. That would be like assuming that he would be outside my window with a boombox the next night.
But then again, when I first started dating, there wasn't very much texting going on, and I had one of those giant cell phones with the midi files for the ring.
I feel so old all of a sudden. :(
that exact thing happened to me.. when guys text too late i go crazy
Chill the fuck out. That's really all I can say to you in regards to this.
Texting isn't a problem when you don't make it out to be a make-or-break action. I mean, isn't it at least routine to wait more than a day to make contact with your date again? Personally, I don't really care about the rule, but if most people know it, shouldn't it be applied to texts too?
Frankly, I prefer to make a phone call when it comes to dates. Texts are pretty impersonal which is that last thing that I want to be seen as.
Lastly, this guy JUST told you how great of a time he had. Literally, just hours before. Do you really need that much confirmation? Just saying, this makes you out to be a bit needy. Not a lot, but just a bit.
haahhaha i know exactly how you feel.. Texting makes me SOOO anxious.
I hate texting. With some of the people I've hung out with, they wouldn't have even talked to me at all if I didn't have texting. I missed the old fashion days of phone calls only.
I especially hate texting when it sometimes takes people hours or even days to reply back, heck, I've been guilty of this myself.
I thought I had finally found someone who liked calling me, but we text so much now he doesn't bother to call me anymore, ugh. lol.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Agreed.
it just makes the girl seem needy.
errr, you realize girls have been doing this from the dawn of time? its not texting. its how we think. people did it with calls before texting.
@softaswater@xanga - Exactly.
But, anyways, the only reason I freak out over a guy not texting me is when I haven't heard from him at all for days, because that usually means I won't for weeks, which has turned into months. Ahh, that is stressful for me, but I understand why he does it.
Aaaand I sound like a doormat. Oops.
I think what sucks more is when they text/chat in general a whole bunch when you first meet them so you're like "Oh, what a great guy!" ...and then they randomly disappear from the face of the earth for no reason whatsoever. That's a load of fun.
I'm actually caught in this right now. God I wish she'd text me.....I've already texted the first few times and don't want to come off as desperate. GOD TEXTING, I HATE YOU!!! YOU GO TO HELL!!!!!!
........anyway...
@mirrorslie@xanga - That's the worst! Then you expect it to keep up and it doesn't and then you just get disappointed. I'd rather know that he's always been that way than him stop.
@nrb2233@xanga - Yes! Exactly! When I first met this guy two months ago, I thought he was so great. He'd even send a "goodnight" text every single night! Then he went to Russia. I guess he has a decent excuse. :P ...but it still sucks!
i hate when im waiting on someone to text to me! Esp a guy, i go crazy!
That's why I don't text when it comes to dating. Texting is too impersonal, and allows for a person to say things however they want it to/proofreading it over and over even if it may not be exactly what they want to convey.
It's too complicated, and that's the last thing I want in my already complicated and busy life.
If a guy wants to go out with me, or wants me to know what a fun time he had, he needs to properly use the phone, and CALL. It's a shame that SO MANY GUYS/GIRLS don't use the phone to call anymore nowadays.
nobody likes a clingy girl
I feel as though texting has become one of those things that makes someone accessible at all times. People feel as though if someone has a phone and they don't text you the minute after you leave them, or they don't text you the same day then there's something wrong, when in actuality maybe the person left their phone off, or just didn't feel like talking to anyone. People need to remember that just because someone has the ability to contact you doesn't mean that they have the responsibility too, and sometimes it's just better to wait and contact people the old fashioned way. I hate how portable I am with my cell phone and often times I'll find myself ignoring texts until I have a better way of communicating with them so that it doesn't feel as impersonal and I don't feel as though I am having my space invaded every three seconds by someone texting, and me checking my phone. I hope that cell phones are just a fad and eventually they burn out, because I think they make people crazy in most situations.
@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - Except us - err.. I mean, those desperate guys.
I think it's not just texts but how instant communication has become (in the form of texts, emails, instant messages, etc.). We constantly crave reassurance in the form of messages. I'm definitely guilty of this. It's become to easy to show someone you care or that you're thinking about them (really, it takes no more than 30 seconds) that we feel neglected if someone isn't able to even take those few seconds to show they care. It really shouldn't bother us to the extent it does, but that's life!
I don't give a fuck if a guy texts me. I'll call that player up and be like,
"Listen here, you want a second date, boy? Well alright then let's go."
For some reason, in my head, that sounded like George W. Bush.
yes i long for his text too... i hate feeling hopeless about having none of his msg. and, if the text doesn't pop up within a day, you can assume that that's all done.
i only hate when he doesnt respond to an important question, if he's been texting me all the time up to the question, OR when he tries to have a "fight" or explain feelings over a TEXT. come on, call or face to face for fights, that's all.
I stressed at the beginning, but over time I've realised that he is not much of a texter. For the past several months I've stopped worrying when he doesn't text back for a while simply because he doesn't check his phone. And I know I'm the only one who texts him xD I guess I'm just secure... Hahah
Hooray, this is the story of my life right now! And by hooray, I mean, shoot me. Or him, whatevs.
if he does not text back he suck! >.<