I just read an
article about some very famous and young celebs. Perhaps you might have heard of them? The Jonas Brothers? Yeah, they've sold a record or two.
Anyway. Apparently, Joe Jonas broke Taylor Swift's heart a while back and recently did the same thing to Demi Lovato. When Taylor heard the news, she rushed to Demi's aid - she sent her a comforting text that said something about everything happening for a reason, that the break-up would only make Demi stronger, and that if Demi needed anything at all she should not hesitate to ask Taylor.
Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift are now, according to various articles, "New Best Friends."
This triggered a couple of other stories in my mind. One was fictional, it was on
Lost (if you don't watch this phenomenal program you need to get on that ASAP - episodes are free online). One woman has a child with a man who up and leaves her for no reason, and another woman learns of this first woman through the man himself.
The second woman and the man have a brief romance, but she runs to the first woman for a source of friendship - the thing she's really searching for. The woman takes the other under her wing, assuming they had shared the same broken heart and using that as a starting point for what turns out to be a very strong friendship.
The other story that sprung to my mind was real-life. It's therefore not quite so...cute (though it initially had potential). My friend fell in love with the guy she had been together with for about 6 months. He then cheated on her with another girl, a mutual friend of all of ours. My friend dumped him upon hearing the news, and he started a relationship with the other girl.
He then cheated on the other girl after about a year with yet another girl. Upon hearing the news, my friend was reminded of everything she had gone through just a year before. She sent a facebook message to who had once been "the other girl" saying that she understood what that girl was probably going through, she had gone through it once herself; that it is 100% the guy's fault for hurting people he knows love him, and that if this girl ever wanted to talk about anything my friend would be there for her. She had so wanted someone to be there for herself when she had gone through that very same ordeal.
This wasn't received well at all. The second girl wrote back a very defensive message, claiming the guy's love for her was stronger than it had been for my friend and that he was going through a phase. She said nothing about their relationship was over, and she wouldn't need consoling - but thanked my friend anyway. The girl is still with the guy, FYI - fully aware (as everyone else is) that regular cheating episodes continue to be the name of his game.
OK, I know that girl #2 certainly seems to have maturity issues. Nonetheless, what's the correct code of action when these potential opportunities to console what you understand arise? I am a strong believer in the value of girl-to-girl friendships, which I think are absolute rocks you can hold on to as you either relax upon or climb steadily upwards in life. Girls are socialized to understand and empathize with one another, to unashamedly reach for a deep connection with other people.
But when a guy has been shared, is it better to keep distance from the all-too-familiar pain brought upon the most recent broken heart? Should you offer your assistance to the girl that was once you, or is it simply too suspicious? Shouldn't girls just...trust each other? Shouldn't we give each other
reason to trust each other?
What do you all think? Have you ever become friends with your ex's ex?
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Comments (15)
taylor swift is just amazing.
THE GIRL THAT GOT DEFENSIVE IS ONE REASON WHY I DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS IN THE FIRST PLACE... UNFORTUNATELY GIRLS ARE A BUNCHA CATTY BITCHES... BUT YOU ARE RIGHT WE SHOULD AT LEAST BE CIVIL WITH EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF FIGHT OVER SOME STUPID ASS IDIOT THAT LEFT US BOTH AND FIGHTING OVER NOTHING BASICALLY...
I love that you tied LOST into this post. :)
Thank you for adding another reason to my extensive list as to why Taylor Swift is one of the greatest celebs ever, and a great role model to boot.
Also, girl #2 sounds like an immature little bitch. Seriously, your friend could've been like "Well that's what you get for being a whore and being the other woman when you knew he had a girlfriend, how does karma taste, bitch?" but no. She extended a hand of friendship. Geez, people make me so mad.
And this is why I prefer to hang with guys than girls- I had to break up with my bf because he was saying he loved my best friend- but now he's alone trying to flirt with all my friends but getting painfully rejected haha...poor him.
Yes! I am friends with two of my ex's exes, actually. The three of us dated him in succession to each other (I was the one in the middle). I actually met my ex through my friend who was dating him at the time, but then she dumped him and he called me up and I dated him for a couple of weeks. He then started dating this other girl, who I later became friends with because we had the same friends. It was weird...
Since I never dated him for that long, I don't think it matter as much though. And my first friend got pissed at me for dating him, but now we're cordial at least when we see each other.
Yep.
It's not a big deal, though.
I only dated him "officially" (we were seeing each other non-exclusively for about 3 months) for a week and a half before I found out he was cheating on me.
But the "other girl" thought she was the only girl. And I feel awful for her because...he broke her heart. Me, he just pissed me off for a day or two.
Anyways, we're pretty good friends now. We text all the time, and I still support her and try to help her with her problems with him, because she hangs out with him at times.
My ex's ex is one of my best friends, but it went in a different order. We became really good friends mostly after I dated him, and by the time they were into each pther I supported it, because, well they were cute and I was over him. They're broken up now, and I;m still friend with both. I'm weird with ex's, I usually prefer to be friends with them after enough time because hell, we were friends before and I'd rather not lose that entirely.
Hah!
This is more of a "misery loves company" deal-spiel where you can have little pity parties where you can get together to gossip and complain about your common ex.
no.
1. To whom are you referencing in Lost? .___. Why can't I remember anyone who fits in the story you told?
2. Sounds like John Tucker Must Die :)
@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - i KNOW! and also....how can anyone be dating this guy? furreyal.....
@Ni_Shi_Wo_De@xanga - Yeah, it's funny because oftentimes the exes of one person will be somewhat similar - or at least have things (besides the ex himself) in common. Ex boyfriends can be great social networking tools, if we let them!
@xXDC_luyouXx - Oh please. That sounds like vanity loves no one, to me.
@Jenn - Cassidy and Kate!!! (with Sawyer)