I really wish people would quit telling me to not say I won't get married and that marriage is not in my future.
First off, I'm not really interested in marriage. Marriage is called an institution...well, so is the state correctional facility. I group the two together as I seem them much the same.
I'm not really into the idea of spending all my time with someone-- I'd rather just take off on my motorcycle, go on a spontaneous fishing or hunting trip. I don't want to check if it's okay to drop four hundred bucks on the newest game system.
I'm a very difficult person to get along with most of the time. Not necessarily on purpose, but even my friends would agree that with that statement. I'm intentionally brash with people, I have an easy temper (though I am slow into violence, unless it is absolutely necessary), and I am the owner of a very strong Type A personality.
Seriously, I'm just an asshole and I rejoice in that fact.
All the crap people go through with dating, weddings, and then when they're married... it is not something I want to be involved with.
My own past dating experiences have sucked. The people I see married are never very happy. I mean like never. Sure they have their moments, but most of the time they are on each other's nerves. Don't give me the b.s. that only "happy and comfortable couples" fight. Gee, if that's happy and comfortable, I'll stick with nailing random women who I never see again.
I've also heard that, "Marriage is dealing with someone else's crap. That's just what you do!" Oh, really? Thanks for the heads up so I can keep the hell out of there.
Now, along the lines of all that, is the fact that I can barely stand people for any length of time. I'm slow to make friends, on purpose, and most of the women I meet are good for a short bit of company.
Some people just aren't marrying material. I was once asked, "What makes you think you aren't her type?" I easily answered, "I'm nobody's type."
As I've been told, as I believe, I will always be alone-- but not necessarily lonely. I accept it, so you should, too. You'll regret keeping me around.
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Comments (31)
lol at least you KNOW you're an asshole. I don't really know if i'll ever marry, but I DO like the thought of sexually aggravating men who come into my life. Just think... whoever I marry is NEVER going to get his rocks off.
It's true that some people just aren't the marrying type- read Pygmalion, the more realistic piece My Fair Lady was based on, to see that.
But assholes are perfectly able to be happy in marriage, once they find the right bitch to chain themselves to. Everyone isn't unhappy in marriage- I know a few shining examples.However, I agree- not caring whether or not you find a girl and marry her is a great frame of mind, and whatever happens, happens. And people are annoying about insisting that everyone should marry.I'm not ever going to get married either. Though I'm not an ass. I just don't see the necessity of getting married to someone. If you need something so symbolic to make clear you love one another than I feel sorry for you. I think it is perfectly possible to be with someone for a long, long time, never marry and still love one another. I don't need a ring or a white dress to believe I love someone and believe that they love me in return.
Everyone I know is either divorced or they've been single their entire lives.
Marriage is not something that everyone NEEDS. Nor should it be. If people realized this maybe the divorce rates would go down.
Marriage is not for everybody. It even talks about this in the bible.
I personally, probably won't go there. But i never say never.i don't think i'm the marrying type either. i live with my boyfriend and that's barely tolerable for me. i don't think i can do it forever. he actually suggested the other day that we get together with a couple friends for a "board game night". it made me want to run away from home, i hate boring couples stuff like that, stuff you see married couples doing on sitcoms. i don't even know how/why i am in a relationship at all. LOL
In the scheme of things, personality flaws rarely outweigh basic human needs. Your tune will change once loneliness completely consumes you, when all your friends are married off or when you realize you will live and die alone.
There are better reasons to reject marriage.
With your fatalism about the old ball and chain, I'm sure you will find in your company a girl as bitter and misanthropic as you are.
I've been in a relationship for the past four years with the same man. We're both 24. We get so pressured to take that step and get married --- yet neither of us want to. You shouldn't feel forced to get married or be told you won't get married. Sometimes it just isn't the right time, and people need to understand that. =]
I don't think I'm the marrying kind either. I'm a complicated, annoying person, I hate kissing, and I don't really see any benefits to being married. I don't think people have to be married, or even have a romantic partner, to be happy. (even though, if they want to, I don't see why they shouldn't have at it.) I enjoy my unmarried life and can't imagine wanting to spend the rest of my life with any particular person.
I get the "you haven't met the right one" speech a lot. I always want to say, "maybe I don't particularly WANT to meet the right one." If I do, I'm open to the experience. But I would be perfectly happy if it didn't happen.
i think in life, you will always have a choice. though, if you chose not to marry, it is best not to break someone's heart while you go on a conquest because that's just not nice and that you might get into trouble. then, it would always be a little like an institution. though, if this is your excuse for not telling someone you like of your feelings then you are actually cheating yourself out of the time that you have now. there would always be regrets later if that's the case. anyhow, good luck in life.
Hey, not everyone's built for marriage. At least you realize it. I do want to challenge your "no married couple is really happy" statement. 'Cause I'm married and very very happy. Not just comfortable, or settled, but in the way that I look at him and feel genuinely happy. Our disagreements are few and far between, and get worked through quickly and reasonably and then we go back to the happiness. So, it's very possible for married couples to be genuinely happy. But I also know marriage isn't for everyone and that it shouldn't be pushed on anyone who doesn't want it.
-Katie
I've thought about this for the past year-and it'll be by a miracle if I of all people get married. I've weighed the pros/cons of doing it but as ironic as this sounds I'm STILL open to it
It just sounds like you're an independent person. It makes sense, but just don't the assumption that every person you would date is going to intrude on your space.
I am definitely the type of person that likes to isolate myself. Most days I just want to do my own thing. My fiance gets that about me. In fact, she is the only person that doesn't piss me off on a consistent basis when she comes into my house.
You sound really bitter about this. hm
its just a piece of paper, that allows to do everything!
sex, go on holiday together, etc etc etc..
at least for me anyways. i only want to so i can finally go on 1 single holiday or spend the night with my bf.
already did everything that im not suppose to except for the holiday.. its not fair!!! so as soon as he proposes we will get married in court and go on a holiday!
thats what it means to me. i don't know what it means to him
The idea of marriage makes me cringe kind of, too. Sure, I would like the idealistic idea of having a loving and caring spouse who understands you inside and out, but that doesn't always happen. As James Marsden said in 27 Dresses, "Marriage is the last legal form of slavery."
@Gorrific@xanga - I agree with you. I think he has some anger issues that are not related to marriage, dating or relationships at all but rather himself....and nobody should rejoice in being an asshole.
Well... at the very least you are a male and no one will think twice if you are thirty-five and still unmarried. A woman, on the other hand, can hardly get away with being 28 and still unhitched. When I say "people's opinions" I'm not referring to the mass populous- I mean employers/landlords and other such people who affect your life in a significant way.
So, good on you I guess. I don't want to get married ether :/
TYPE A PERSONALITIES ALL THE WAY!
Hmmm. . . I've considered whether or not marriage is right for me too, but not for the same reasons. Just because I'm a really independent person. I can only endure being with people in moderation. But yeah, I don't think your issue is with marriage itself. I think there are some underlying issues beneath all of your excuses that you have yet to address. You're just a little to bitter and cynical about it all.
@her_phantasmagoria@xanga - I respect your opinion but its a little irksome how you make it seem as if anyone who gets married is just 'reassuring' themselves that they and the person they're marrying are in love. Personally, I want to get married because I see it as a romantic experience that you only get to have once. I don't feel like it will make me love the person any more; it just seems like a fun way to celebrate our union. And that's what it should be--a celebration! Love is worth celebrating, so why not do so? I hate all these dumb wedding shows on WE and other channels that make weddings into some stupid, superficial, money flinging fest. It's so sad! Weddings should be about happiness and love and looking forward to your life together. I dont' think you should feel sorry for me having a wedding, because I'm going to be quite happy to do so, thank you very much. The ring and dress don't assure me of love, they don't represent the love I feel--they're material objects that are meant to be symbols, not definitions, of your relationship. They're just there! I wouldn't be devastated if I COULDN'T have them, I'd still love my man just as much, but it is nice to know I can have that celebration if I want to.
@StillNotaPrettyGirl@xanga - What's so wrong with board game nights? I have them all the time with my friends, and I love it! I collect board games, actually :P
I think your decision not to marry...is a very good one.
Please, don't get married...ever!
Christy
@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - I didn't mean for it sound like I look down on people who want to get married. I don't. It's just not for me. And, honestly, for a lot of people it probably shouldn't be for them either. I can understand how it could be fun. And I understand the symbolic aspect of rings and ceremonies. Hell, I even understand that marriage has it's benefits (taxes and such). However, it seems to be expected for people to get married. It's as if it's just naturally something everyone should do which is what a lot of people do and than they end up hating each other and regretting it. Generally, I don't care if anyone chooses to get married. I pity the people who feel they need to get married (I do know of these people). I pity the people who feel like it will secure a relationship (I know these sorts too). I probably shouldn't have spoken so generically about it. I'm sorry if I came off as pretentious and willing to stereotype all marriages. Some people get married and they love each other just as much as before. They stay together for the rest of their lives and nothing changes except their single status. I'm not denying that this happens. Marriages are something people should choose. I choose not to and I get really frustrated when people tell me I'm going to change my mind or regret it in the future.
@her_phantasmagoria@xanga - Yeah, I do agree with you that it is an 'expected' thing. a lot of people get married because they feel like they're 'supposed to', like that's what normal people do. I have struggled myself with the idea that I need to get married before my parents die because they're older than most of my peer's parents. But I'm trying to remind myself to marry for love, not parents being there :P I do see your point, it makes sense. Marriage isn't for everyone, but I've seen more examples of it working than not, fortunately
You sound like me during the first 25 years of my life...
...but I've since met someone who has changed everything. I absolutely never thought that would happen and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it.