Saturday, 12 June 2010
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What I Learned from Past Relationships
This list was created by Xanga user MDrabing83.
- Some things I have learned through my past relationships:
1.) Do NOT rush things in a relationship.
2.) If a man wants you, let HIM pursue you, all the way up until marriage....it's okay to call sometimes, but don't put yourself out there too much (keeps you from getting so hurt if it doesn't last).
3.) Know that NOTHING lasts forever in this world, & therefore a relationship is possible of breaking up (sadly, even in marriage)
4.) People aren't perfect. None of them are.
5.) If you date one person after another, you may be "heaping up pain upon pain," thus causing the need for more healing (time)
6.) Every time you date another person, you give a piece of your heart away that you have to work to get back for your husband one day to have you.
7.) Placing your hope in people can be tiring.
8.) Intercultural dating is very hard (my ex-fiance & my past 3 boyfriends before him are all Korean, and I am American)....if you choose to do this, make sure the other person TRULY KNOWS & ACCEPTS your culture - or, at least, tries to.
9.) We always hear that "love never asks someone else to change." From experience - I think this is wrong. If you love someone & they are doing something wrong (that may end in pain), you should correct them (as you should likewise do for a friend or a family member)....otherwise, they may never know it is wrong. It is not YOUR move to make the decision for their actions, but just to inform them.
What about you - what have past relationships taught you?
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About the Author
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- From: FionaMay
- Name: FionaMay
- About Me: I wish we could all stay in the "dating" part of relationships forever. It's the most anxiety-ridden part of anything serious, that's for sure, but it's also the most fun! I hope I can find someone who will date me forever...hey, he'd save money on a ring!
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Comments (27)
I want to date a million Korean boys, too.
How'd you get hooked up? Goodness.Past relationships have taught me way too much to list in a xanga post, let alone a comment.
This is really an addendum to your rule 1, but I'd say a good lesson is Do not, do not, do NOT force trust, and do not expect it soon. Be careful about giving your word and taking theirs, and overly romantic language.
6.) Every time you date another person, you give a piece of your heart away that you have to work to get back for your husband one day
I like this one.I'm not sure I agree with #2. Protecting yourself is great and all, but, particularly after a certain point, if the guy knows you know you like him, he's not going to want to make all of the moves anymore. Playing hard to get when you already know you have him--or appearing like you're playing hard to get--might just detour an otherwise potential SO.
Otherwise, I really like this list. Particularly #6.
Still now I haven't face any such situation with my relationship as I didn't have any past relationship and also hope that such situation don't comes to me but still I will keep all these things in mind as nothing is impossible.
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don't date gang-affiliated guys, even if they swear they're clean and only sells drugs
I learned that if your SO isn't sure about whether they love you or not, that you should move on to someone else. Someone better.
I've learned to trust my instincts and intuition when I feel something wrong is happening.
I agree with this list.
"Placing your hope in people can be tiring" - I cannot agree more.
Make sure you know if they're bipolar, clinically depressed, or have schizophrenia
It'll be easier to understand when they're doing things they normally wouldn't.
No.4 is very important to remember. Other things I've learned:
- Complacency is a killer when it comes to relationships
- Women like rubbish TV
- Three responses cover all bases when you haven't properly listened to what a woman has said: 1/ "That's unbelievable." 2/ "What happened next?" 3/ "What do you think's best?"
Check out my dating disasters:
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
My pasts have all been white guys. Honestly though, there really arent too many cultural clashes, because I was raised in America, therefore, I am more American than my own culture. I actually feel much more comfortable around non-asians.. weird huh?
Both partners must be invested in the relationship or it won't work. No matter how much you want it to work.
Build up a trust with someone before getting into a relationship with them. I hate being committed to someone and realizing later that he's a total jackass.
Also, make them earn your trust--don't just hand over your innermost fears and dreams without making them work for it. If you hand these things to the wrong person, your life can go careening off the tracks before you realize who pushed you. It's better to fall in love with friends than strangers.
@PMFoutofwater - That last list is horrible, and I hate to admit it, but it would probably work xD
#2 is completely bull crap really
@osbornoizziy@xanga - Agreed. Talking about putting yourself up on a pedestal. It's nice to be wanted, but constantly playing hard to get is, IMO, shady. Especially "all the way up until marriage". No one should do that, regardless of the gender.
amazing list. itz all soo true .. love is not for the weak hearted </3
Don't let him sweet-talk you into something you're not sure you're ready for/you don't want to do.
There could be something else underneath that "prince charming" demeanor.
Haha, incidentally, I'm dating a Vietnamese guy right now
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