Sunday, 06 June 2010

• Make Sure He Divorces His Mother Before You Become His Wife: Men & The Mother Complex

  

  A good friend of mine got engaged a few days ago. I am completely excited for her big day. My friend is dedicated to her lover and their relationship. There's just one small big problem--his mother. Fortunately for my friend, she has very little convincing to do in terms of her fiance's relationship and his mother. My concern is for other young women who compete with their partner's mothers for affection. To be frank, some men have unhealthy attachments to their mothers. In fact, some men rove the romantic world in search of some maternal replica to marry. It's quite off putting. Men need to divorce their mothers if they desire to have a fulfilling marriage with their wives.

  A popular rant of young women today is the boyishness of the opposite sex. I think some young fellows have Lost Boy Syndrome. They think they live in Never Never Land. They fight society tooth and nail against the pressures to grow up. Sadly, most young men are successful. All young men have one thing in common. They yearn to be nurtured and taken care of. They're looking for their mommy.

  Genesis 2:24 reads: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Some of the greatest men of the Bible left their mothers and never turned back. Abraham was ordered by God to leave his family and to go to a new land. Abraham took his wife and we don't read much about his mother after that. The only maternal figure in the Bible who sticks out to me is Mary the mother of Jesus. Jesus was single though.

  In essence, women should ensure that their fiances' have divorced their mothers before getting married. The bride to be should not be in competition for her groom's affections. Some overbearing mothers still seek their sons attention well after he's become involved with a woman. Mothers shouldn't seek emotional validation from their soon to be or already wed sons. It's not fair to their son.

  I know a woman who perpetuates an unhealthy relationship with her children. She'll call on them for every little thing that she needs. She'll say things like "You're the only one who understands me". By repeating these phrases, she's perpetuating an unhealthy emotional connection to her children. She's manipulating her sons into a psuedo husband role. That's unacceptable. A man should love his wife more than anyone else. That's not just my opinion either. It's Biblical.

  Have you encountered a man who has an unhealthy relationship with his mother? Is he seemingly "married" to his mother? Is it effecting his marriage or intimate dating relationships?

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