I just read an
article that a woman, after marrying the love of her life, was still unhappy. She didn't know exactly why, until she discovered that her husband was gay and using her as a front to depict a "happy" straight life.
I don't know. Cheating is one thing, but then
using someone to portray an alternative life? Not being honest in general?
I have no idea how I would approach the situation if I was in that woman's shoes. I would probably be hysteric, to find out that the love of my life isn't even attracted to me and leading two completely different lives. It just sounds like the most terrible nightmare.
Perhaps the man wanted to lead that supposedly white-picket life with a wife and children but knew it was impossible to do so because he was gay. To me, that sounds awfully selfish. How could he possibly want to lead one life that is kept away from the world and then use another person to lead a life of total deception?
Thoughts? What would you have done if this happened to you?
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Comments (14)
If he was filthy rich, I would put up with the front and then go find another man on the side for myself!
all i can say is what an asshole.
@Utoppia - Lol, what a slut. Grow some balls and just leave him instead of being a money-greedy bitch,
@Utoppia - Haha, you go girl. =P My gay friend and I talk about having a power alliance with men on the side all the time. ;)
I would flip shit.
awesome picture choice!
but in regard to the post..... i'd be pissed. i bet this happens more often than you think
I don't know if I'd be as devastated (or nasty) as some of you.
If he wasn't cheating, I'm not 100% sure I'd leave. I think it's heartbreaking that a man would feel as though he'd have to get married , creating such an elaborate facade but I don't think any guy would necessarily just go "eeiney meeiney mineey moe" and pick a girl to marry. There's got to be some kind of love there and I don't know!
I can't explain it properly but if he wasn't cheating and if he loved me (in some way, even as a happy friendship) - I'd rather be in this kind of marriage then a completely loveless or abusive relationship.
@TooLazyToSignIn - I would probably do the same thing and call it even. I mean, he is using me and if he was rich, I would use him, too! He can have his cake and eat it and so can I, right?
That's sad :(
He wanted to fulfill a fantasy and she was available.
This happened to my aunt. She found out after 10 years of marriage. She divorced him. If this happened to me, I don't think I would be very happy at all.. I would feel betrayed and very hurt.
I would probably divorce him and start new. Marriage is complicated and it just wouldn't work if he didn't love me that way. It doesn't matter if there is a friendship if he's not into me the way he is into men. If it was that easy then I could marry any platonic guy friend.
And just because I'm not in this relationship, doesn't mean I will be in an "abusive" or "loveless" relationship like someone mentioned earlier. Why does it necessarily mean we're settling for less here if we let go of this? To me, this is a loveless relationship whether you agree or not.
This happened to a friend of mine as well.
Yeah this is why we had drama in New Jersey not too many years ago. It was a power marriage, marriage for show.
But lots of men feel they have to hide from their homosexuality either because of their families, social stigma, or themselves. They go to the lengths to be something they're not to closet themselves in order to help themselves feel more normal.
My friend's father left his wife of 28 years because he finally came out of the closet. He went to church and even went into a "gay rehabilitation" program PRIOR to the divorce in order to fight who he was to preserve his relationship with his family.
I have another close family friend whose husband left her after 25 years to get a sex change because he always secretly felt like a woman.
Both of these families had adult children.
And honestly, you can't blame the men from hiding their homosexuality. We live in an intolerant world and it's not that easy to be gay as it is to be straight. I feel sorry for these men, at best.
I do everything in my power to make sure this would never happen to me when I'm in a relationship. I test the water to see if the guy had any homosexual tendencies. I don't want that mess.