Monday, 31 May 2010
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I Used To Love You, But You Realized Too Late
I met this guy last year and we’ve been talking every single day for a whole year non-stop. I was there for him coping him through with his loss of friends, his lost relationships, and his broken heart. I even started to like him at some point and I nearly loved him until he got another girlfriend. Right then I thought “how could you be in love with someone who falls all over the place?”
After when he and his girlfriend broke up, I thought it would’ve been a good time to tell him with the little bit of feelings I still had that I use to like him. When I told him, it was like he was shocked like he was saying to himself “this girl liked me and I didn’t even notice. How could I be so stupid?”
But then all the sudden all these feelings he didn’t have for me were suddenly there. I couldn’t listen to any love songs because he thought I was listening to them to remind me of him. We couldn’t have any regular conversation because he will always end up telling me how much liked me and how he can see us as a couple. I guess he didn’t hear me out when I told him I use to like him. So I had to tell him again.
I just told him that I don’t go backwards for anybody, and that when my feelings are gone there’s no way that they are coming back. And that I would rather date someone I don’t know but want to get to know to which he replied “he would have to catch your attention pretty quickly then or you wouldn't bother with him”
It's not that I wouldn’t bother with him. I just don’t bother with those who never wanted to bother with me until afterwards.
Have you ever been in this situation?
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- From: Passion
- Name: Passion
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Comments (23)
Yes, I have. Mine is/was a lot more complicated than that, but the basics are just about the same as yours. Except, I finally gave the guy a chance to prove himself and... well... let's just say it wasn't meant to be. HOWEVER, I feel a lot better about the situation with him. It was always something I wanted to try, and if I never tried it, it would've been something that bothered me for the rest of my life, and I would've always wondered, "what if?" So I'm glad I tried it, because now I know what it "tastes" like, and now I'm satisfied. I think you should give your guy a chance as well... for all you know, it COULD work out, and if it doesn't, then at least you gave it a shot. Don't let this opportunity get away from you. Just give it a chance, give him a chance, and see how things turn out.
Good luck.
Basically... yes. This just happened to me.
My opinion is always "you can't go back now"
I think you are being to hard on the guy. I think that maybe you two could make it work if you tried. I'm not saying you should force it, I'm just saying he seems like a good guy and it seems like the only reason you are not giving him a chance is because you consider it "back tracking".
I'd say give him a chance. Some guys are just clueless in general. If you were going back to an ex, that would be a different story, but I don't see the big deal in going backward in crushes.
yeah, a few years ago, I liked this guy a lot, and he gave indications that he was interested as well, but he found himself another girl instead. After over two years, I had gone out with a couple of guys and realized what I wanted in a guy. Recently, he contacted me, we hung out, and he wanted to get together. My feelings for him had gone, however, and I know they're not coming back, but he's still hopeful. >.<
This isn't even fair for the guy. You told him you used to like him when he was at a crappy point at his life, and since he didn't instantly go for a rebound I'm going to say that he seems like a decent guy. I'm going to guess that he didn't want to try to push anything until he had his self together, and you're just being ignorant to not wait it out.
I think the only reason he is saying that he "likes you" and suddenly as "feelings" for you is because you told him you liked him. If he liked you before, he would have said something, but he didnt. He seems like one of those people that goes for anyone that shows any sort of infatuation. He seems like he jumps around a lot from one girl to another.
i loved this guy for four years and then i shouldn't have. and he realized that he should've treated me better and he told me that he wanted to grow old w/ me and i broke his heart. tricky situation. i want to call him and tell him its over for good and i want to tel him the reasons for it but i realized ive done that 4 times before and it fueled him calling even more.
end of rant. realized i went off on a tangent
Love is difficult. If you are at the opposite side, you will surely hope you can get together with the person. and he would think why you only come back into him now after he expressed himself. The reasons he rejects you can be as what you said "the feelings are gone" or simply it is a stubbornness that he thinks he is not that kind of person to be getting "picked up"
But if it is the latter, people should let that go. To give up a potential good relationship or someone because of a moment of stubbornness is not a wise choice.
Love is never a reasonable thing, so if you do some unreasonable things like giving up your pride and get together with the guy, it is very reasonable, and in fact the right thing to do in my opinion.
I've been that guy you were talking about. lol
Finally, I can relate to the victor, and not the victim.
I can sort of relate to you. Some of the people who commented insist that you give him a chance. Others think you are being stubborn because you don't want to go back. But I think that if you really don't have feelings for him any more, then there's no point in giving him a chance. Sure, you liked him, but that was the past; you don't like him now. I just don't see a reason why you should date someone whom you do not have feelings for. I understand your situation. If one day your feelings DO happen to come back, slowly... then maybe then, you should give him, and yourself, a chance.
I've been there. Two years later he asked me out and I just couldn't bring myself to give us a try. It does take a lot of efforts to completely get over someone, so trying to get back those feelings after you've done so much to get rid of them is really hard, and chances are they won't be the same. So I agree when you say you'd rather go for someone new. I would, too.
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site[_www. A G E R O M A N C E com_]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
i am there.
I've been there. Maybe I'm sorta kinda a hoe about it though- I try and sleep with the guy anyway just to satisfy the curiosity that started the crush in the first place even if I don't like him like that anymore.
Yeah. Except it ended up differently for us.
thanks for sharing =)
I have a guy like that in my life. It was a silly, childish crush at first. Puppy love. But in the three years that I really got to know the guy, it became stronger and more mature. Then I went through a long, painful process of demolishing those feelings one by one. I was just so tired of waiting through all his Homecoming dates and girlfriends. By the time I wanted to tell him how I felt about him all that time, he had gotten a girlfriend. When they broke up, I went over to his house to tell him. But then he starts talking about how he likes this other girl. So I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to complicate things for him. I'm so spineless. So now he's with this other girl and it doesn't look like they're breaking up anytime soon. Although I hardly have any feelings left for this guy, I worry that when I tell him (because I HAVE resolved to tell him one day, when I can healthily look back at it and laugh) he will reveal his mutual feelings for me and I will be swayed back to that unhealthy place.
men are dense. for the most part they don't do well with hints. They rarely see what's right in front of then, unless its toy or sport related. my guess is that if you had told him how you felt at the time, he would have had all those feelings for you then too. Why would you tell him after the fact, knowing you have no intention of anything further happening ? What was the point?
I think I am in the situation now. He works so damn much. We've been talking for 10 weeks. We haven't met up. I think those feelings are gone. I totally feel you in this situation.
One thing has been true all along, you don't really know what you got 'til it's gone.
This has never happened to me before, but I'm scared it might just occur with my ex and I....we're REALLY good friends now, but I get scared he'll throw around the subject "I found a new girl", and then I'll want him again.. bleh.
Maybe he was respecting the fact that you were being there for him as a good friend. Maybe he didnt want to get his hopes up that you would like him; especially during a time his heart was still very vulnerable. How hard would it be if the person helping you with a broken heart, than breaks your heart as well. Now that is something that would take some time to get over and build up confidence again. But like a typical chick, you want a guy who can read your mind and see through you. The funny thing is that when a guy can see though you, typically it means he dont give a shit about you and you are just predicatble to him.