Monday, 31 May 2010
-
Checking Out Other Females Is Just A "Guy Thing"?
My boyfriend has recently been making comments about one of our mutual friends. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, and has been changing herself. She has been wearing a ton of make-up lately and looks completely different; posting tons of pictures of herself. I hardly recognize her.
My boyfriend has noticed this sudden transformation, and has been attempting to bring her up in almost every time we speak. He told me that he thinks that since breaking up with her boyfriend, she has been looking “ridiculously good”, and “looking like a hot Korean pop star." He even told her this himself a couple of times, and how much he likes her make-up and wishes she could help me with it.
I questioned him about this, and he suddenly has a change of tune, “oh no, I love you for who you are, and you look beautiful without make-up.” If he really means that, then wtf is with the stuff above.
I don’t mind that he compliments other people, but there’s a limitations to my patience. I know that he checked other females out because apparently “it’s a guy thing, and he would gay if he didn’t”. Honestly again, WTF is with all of his excuses.
During this week alone, I think he brought her up at least 6 times, and I wasn’t even talking about her, or even asked about her. I asked him about this, and he said that there is nothing wrong with this, and the only reason why is because “she’s a hot topic right now” in his group of male friends due to her recent single status.
Only one problem, I am not his guy friend; I am his girlfriend. Do you think I am overreacting, or do you think he needs to have some respect for me?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: anonymish
- About Me: This post was submitted by a Datingish reader who wanted to remain anonymous. You can submit your own anonymous post at www.datingish.com/submit-post - just make sure you let us know you wouldn't like to have your username displayed!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 227 Views: 0 543096 Comments: 0 13046 View all posts by anonymish
Comments (85)
uh, dick move. that's not just 'checking out other females'. that's weird and unacceptable.
Only hearing your half, so i'm not for sure what advice to give. Try not to make a big deal out of it, that will only make him lean more away from you. :/
This is dumb. You're being insecure. If you don't like it, leave, but don't let everyone tell you it's all his fault.
It is natural to check out others or to be vaguely physically attracted to others. But him being so fixated is weird. Tell him he's being a dick.
of course i'd be upset if my husband was constantly bringing up another woman! its unacceptable. he should be bragging to her about how hot i look ;) lol. seriously though, you're not overreacting.
If you were just a friend, this would be okay, but I think he may be crossing the line if you're his girlfriend. No, you're not overreacting, especially when he is repeatedly bringing her up in conversation, as well as doing the other things you mentioned.
Confront him about it.
Communication = key.
Let him know you don't like it, and feel threatened.
I he has any respect for you, he'll stop.
i have this damn issue with my SO only every time we go out somewhere in public he's just checking out other females! and i don't even have to look at him to catch him looking i already know he's looking at her and i'm like stop checking her out and he'll be like "what? it's just in my nature, i'ma guy" fucking idiot comes up with a double standard for me when i said well ok i'ma go check out my musician friend he's fucking hot (he's taken but i met him long before he was taken and before i was taken) and he got all butt hurt and got mad at me for even bringing that up! guys' logic is for lack of better words... STUPID?
I think it's natural for guys to check out other girls, but there is no reason for him to be so vocal about it in front of you, it's just rude.
If your boyfriend really said that he "would be gay" if he didn't check out other girls, then you're probably dating the stupidest guy on the planet.
I'm sorry.
As has been mentioned, the fixation is what makes this odd, and I would be concerned...
As for him checking out other women...I don't know a single person (of either sex) who can honestly say they've never bothered checking anyone out, even if they're in a committed relationship.
JERK !!!
punch him and walk away.
idk. im a guy, and when im in a relationship i dont check other girls out cuz thats undecent. im with a girl, illl stay faithful to that girl sheesh. thoughts eventually become actions anyway ya know?
If he's telling you things he'd normally talk about with his guy friends, ask him if he'd like it if you treated him like just one of his guy friends. Yes there's honestly and being open with each other, blah, blah but you are still his girlfriend, he should be treating you like one. Doesn't mean he has to stop talking about girls with his guy friends, just that he should be talking about it with them, not all the time with you.
Serious dick move when he said that he wishes she could help you with your makeup. I'd probably say something like, "Why don't you go be with her then?"
If he secretly admires her little "transformation" he shouldn't tell you all about it. I think it's okay to think that she looks good, but all that other stuff is just being a huge jerk.
One comment may be okay. Talking about her a little with the guy friends may also be okay. Making her the center of all your conversations = totally not okay.
Be upfront, but I might expect your guy to tell you to chill out. Stand your ground. Don't make it a yelling match, but don't let him talk you into thinking you're being paranoid. Even if this were something that should not really be a big deal, if it bothers you this much, he should respect that and stop talking about your friend.
Yeah. that's...rude. I wouldn't put up with it in my relationship. "It's a guy thing" is not an excuse. That's fucking bullshit.
that's a douchebag move...he needs to consider your feeling no matter how hot this other girl is. I bet he wouldn't like it if the table was turned.
Thats what his guy friends are for. If he wants to talk about how hot she is, sure...just not with you. Tell him to talk to his guy friends.
o.o Uhoh..that doesnt sound good..sounds more of a red flag if he keeps bringing it up. And no I do not think your over reacting I would be just like you. Lame saying "its a guy thing."
wow that is shady. i would definitely say something about this because you are his GIRLFRIEND not some girl that he chills with... what a jerk! you deserve more respect than that...
It sounds like he has a crush on her. It'll pass. People do this from time to time. He may like her appearance, but, more than likely, he likes you way more than he ever would her. That's why he is with you, and not someone else.
Yeah I'd say it'd be fine to look at other girls but to compare them to you and to tell you about it is a different thing. I'd talk to him about this.