Saturday, 29 May 2010
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Interwebz Lovin': The Newest Form of PDA?
I have NEVER been an advocate for PDA (public displays of affection, for all of those out of the loop). I never think to myself, "Hey, when I go to dinner tonight, I really hope I see a couple with their tongues down each other's throats." It's usually a pretty disgusting (and sometimes rather graphic) way to show your cuddle bear that you're into them.
But to me - seeing hugging, kissing, making out - is almost BETTER than having to read pages and pages of love letters couples are now writing to each other on social networking sites.
Let me explain:
Facebook has become an overwhelming presence in many of our young lives. I started using it at 17 and have seen it grow and expand over the past 5 years. But I never thought I'd see the day where it'd be cool - or sensitive, or appropriate - to air your laundry out on your pookie's wall. I don't want to read over and over "OMG MY BOYFRAND IS DA BEST HE IS SO SEXIII" or see the overused <3 symbol again and again.
And I'm not bitter - I am in a happily contained, monogamous and loving relationship and have been for three years. We constantly write to each other - through notes, letters and PRIVATE messages. If not because I'm often sickened at the idea of interweb-PDA, but because I like my sassy, sexy comments to be for him and him only.
But to be honest, I'm not sure what's worse - seeing that too-lovey-get-a-room couple spread their legs on Facebook, or having to watch a passive-aggressive-everyone-will-know-what-you-did-wrong couple battle it out. You know that couple, too; they fight on Facebook and temporarily don't care about embarrassing each other with mean words, only to delete their hurtful remarks later on and replace it with "I'm so sorry baby I love you so much I miss you come see me tonight ;)."
It's one thing to write on your man's wall from time to time to tell them you love them - and to show all the world that you love him. And it's one thing to write on your girl's wall to tell them how hot they look in their new default picture. But it's a completely different story when you start describing what you want to DO to your chick BECAUSE of how hot she looks.
So what's the deal? When did it become okay for people to take their relationship's highs-and-lows to such a public level? Are you and your SO one of those couples? Or are you on the same page as me?
(And before you start throwing me the "There's a hide option in your newsfeed - use it" attitude, I actually do care about my friends and would rather stomach their nauseating ways than not know what's going on in their lives.)
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- From: msenergydrink@healthkicker
- About Me: While I tried to stay in college for as long as I possibly could, I picked up a Psychology minor, forcing myself to learn a little about mental health. What I didn't know was how closely linked mental and physical health, are to each other. Now that I've graduated, I've enjoyed writing about all different aspects of health for Healthkicker. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's no way to live healthy unless you're happy, too. I'm hoping to be able to give as much insight as I can, while picking up a few tips from everyone along the way!
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Comments (29)
but i L0V3 y0uuu babiiifayceee <3333 forever and always!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 xoxo 2 days and s0 in lUv!!1111
this is 100% yes. it cracks me up that people actually think this is okay. i'd be so embarrassed if i were them.
You cannot believe how much i agree with you. I just got out of a pretty bad situation with a guy I liked, and it trully pisses me off to see people all over each other in public, and when I finally return to the safety of my home, i turn on the computer, log on to facebook, and see people all over each other THERE TOO! It's like they're haunting me with their touchy-feely-ness. Ugh!
F so true. I still remember this one time I had to read something along the lines of "Baby you're so beautiful I want to hump you like an animal ;) Hehe."
I agree and I admit I have been guilty of this on fb, but not anymore or ever again.
I agree to a point. For example, I'm friends with my brother and his girlfriend. So it's awkward when I'll randomly see her post in her status something and then end with "my rob is so sexy." Cuz, like to me, he's not. He's my brother.
And one girl is in a relationship I don't approve of. She's 16/17 and with a 25 year old who has a daughter. And she acts like she's the girl's stepmom. She's too young to be in that, so it's annoying seeing her write things like, "Oh, I love waking up next to my baby and his baby." Like, wtf? You're 16! Stop it!
But I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, some times, when I get irritated over it, I know that it does come from the fact that I wish I had someone to write messages like that. I think it's cute. And it's their page. If it really irritates you that much, delete them from your friends list so you don't see it.
I agree! Dear God! It must be stopped!
i just block them from my feed. so annoying!
You see this all over lamebook.com, it's so funny/disgusting.
This all happens because humans lack common sense.
My man doesn't even go on facebook so this isn't my case at alll.
it is SO annoying when people do this.
Well I don't have an issue with PDA but there is a limit. Holding hands, a simple kiss, a loving hug, those all acceptable ways for a couple to display their affection. As for fb, we both have fb pages, we don't generally put our shit out their like that. But when we do, it's usually stuff that neither of us is offended by and is usually something hilarious. On the flip side of things, I have written little comments or poems that unless you know me, no one else would be able to figure out that it was about it or written specifically for/about him.
@LolitaFatty@xanga - Okay I agree that is kinda gross.... My mother would have beat the living snot outta me for a dating a guy that old and then for dating a guy that old with a kid. Imma need him to get some statutory rape charges on that one.
i'm going to have to 100% agree with this post.
i love how you said "spread their legs on facebook." lolololololol.
Wow, could not agree more.
I completely agree with you! one of my good friend her status is 99% about her bf, something like "AWWwwwWW misssss my ___ so much i love you <33333" while sometimes i think it's cute, it gets so annoying now that it's the ONLY thing i see.
i am currently in a relationship.. me and my man would write on each others walls once in a while saying stuffs like "you better get back to studying!!!" or smthing like that.. not "<3333333 love you hunnie bunnieeeee"
then i thought to myself.. maybe these people who are obsessive about showing off their love on the internet are to some degrees insecure about their relationship? or they want others to envy how fortunate she is? but failed to realize that it's quite immature. she is not a high schooler anymore.. she has graduated university already...
I think it's okay if it's just normal cute stuff,
like one day I wrote on my ex's wall (he wasn't my ex at the time),
Something along the lines of "watching the notebook makes me think of you,"
and then I put a cute quote from the movie.
But people being all, look I can write about how I want to have sex with you with a bunch weird spelling!!!! that's too much.
hahaha i agree. i'm always so tempted to comment on their statuses saying, "yes, we get the point. you love your boyfriend. you've been saying the same thing every day for the last six months. can you please break up soon so you'll stop clogging up my newsfeed? thanks." (or i could just hide their updates, but that'd take too much effort! :P)
i think both are equally as annoying. I hate how ppl are all in public here, they make out in a computer lab with other students, you are like sheeeeesh, ever thought to get a room? I think its a private matter. I dont mind hugs, well here its overdramatized and almost EVERY time that i see a couple hugging theres lots of tears and kisses going on. I dont know there personal stories with their SO, but COME ON. I think its tactless to have your own mini porn right outside for everyone to see. I dont want to see. And I never want ppl to see! I dont mind hugs, handholding or pecks. But rolling around in the dirt at a very popular community garden? Mounting your man like youre cowgirl and "talking" in the school yard. I have never seen such a thing in my life!!!!! Yes, I have urges like every human being, but i also like to keep it private and when i do kiss in public, its usually cuz no ones there. Like on a bench by a lake at night. Or in an empty parking lot lol. Idk.
and then facebook, first i hate how people use facebook like its some validation of whats going on in your real life. NEWSFLASH, facebook is NOT real life. I have plenty of REAL friends that I actually talk to and hang out with that we dont have each others facebook. OH, but its not an official friendship, til its on facebook, god forbid if its not! And then so you have to do the same for your SO, which i never do. I have had a "relationship status" but not a person, or just a "fake" one with my bestfriend..it is a relationship after all..just not a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. but its still a type of relationship. lol. And that the whole world knows about. Shes my best friend i have no shame in screaming it to the world. Not to say that I do have shame in who my SO would be, but I just dont feel like everyone needs to know my personal business. People stare and ogle at your fb pics when theyre bored, never comment (you never kno they were there) theyre stalkin you online, stalkin your posts, pics etc. So i just dont put up everything, and also the fact that it takes forever to upload pics, or mayb its just my browser..
and it seems like facebook pics of you with your SO cuddling, kissing, or sending flirty texts back n forth is the new way of PDA.....
I just dont like PDA.... i have my limits when it comes to it... And i think when online thats what becomes your relationship, and the PDA is virtual, i think its kinda sad. Though, I dont like PDA in real life either. WEll i cant say i dont like PDA but i dont like pornographic Rated R PDA. I also dont like the too cutesy one "ohhh i wuv u my wittle pumpkin pie" o "sweedy poo" or any of those other gag inducing nicknames, i have nevr ever had weird nicknames like that for my SO. Maybe for a baby, or a puppy. Not to denigrate a baby to that of a puppy. And not saying a puppy is nothing, but yea. I dont baby talk my BF. Nicknames are special to me, bt not THAT kind of special. lol
And i do admit that sometimes the hugging and hand holding will make me jealous because I want to do that wiht my SO. But i get over it in like two seconds lol If its really bad, Ill call my SO and see whats up. Long Distance Relationships bite ASS some times.
Now see. I didn't even know that was such a problem on Facebook because I stopped logging in ages ago. If it's such an epidemic you might try not hanging around on Facebook and any such sites with virtual PDA in abundance; it's the same as how you would avoid that little cafe that's full of young couples all over each other, the one you never go into cuz you know it'll be awkward and annoying, you know?
Yes, you can do that with your newsfeed, but it'll mean missing important stuff. I just wonder whatever happened to good old emails and txts and such. lol. Whatever. I agree it's annoying... I took the plunge and just quit Facebook. Hopefully you'll either keep on stomaching it or find a way to blind yourself to such PDA. ;P
I enjoy bragging on my husband in my Facebook status, and we'll often write on each other's wall, if just to say a simple "I love you" - and yes, the sickening, overused <3 is often typed as well.
It never gets more graphic or intimate than that though, really. PDA, definitely. Inappropriate, definitely not.
Is funny that you mention fighting.
When me and my ex fight (yes, we will talk, and most of it is fighting) I just block him for a while.
There is so much stuff that I could post on his wall. I could ruin his life.
But I'd rather just block him. -shrug-
People who do these things on facebook are usually young couples who are not going to make it anyway. Their relationship is not for them, it's for everyone else so that they can get comments about how great it is that they're in a relationship, and so that they can get attention. I have a few friends like this, and from time to time when their status' just get ridiculous I tend to leave a witty but kind of harsh comment and it dies down again. My boyfriend and I obviously write to eachother on facebook and occassionally have the odd status about eachother but it does not go overboard, mostly for the fact that our relationship is ours and we don't need everyone to see how much we love eachother, because all that matters is that WE know that we love eachother.
So don't worry, your friends who are doing all these lovely comments and status' about their "SO" will not be doing it for long, because it's just a phase and they're not in it for the right reasons, it'll end soon.
Hah! I was just ranting about this to my sister today! I have a friend who posts her anniversary at the end of every status no matter what her status is about. She's only been in this relationship for a month first of all and some things it just isn't appropriate with. like the other day her status was "going to coney island with my daycare class =] <3 4-10-10" wtf?! completely irrelevant. so annoying and then couples that draw graffiti on each others walls with just big hearts and I LOVE YOUs ... -.- if it was valentines day fine i get it though you don't have to say it every hour on the hour and shove it down everyone elses throats. jeez me and my boyfriend do this thing called hanging out and calling each other where we tell each other directly how we feel about each other! lol.
Blehhh, I see it all the time and it irritates me. I'll admit, though, that I used to do that, but I've grown over it over the years. It sickens me. But that's just me.