Saturday, 29 May 2010
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Do You Keep in Contact With Your Ex(es)?
The day I broke up with my frst long term boyfriend, he was texting me. And no, not the expected "you're a bitch" or "go to hell" comments that such situations tend to evoke. No, he was texting me funny, sweet, and dare I say cute-sy messages as if nothing had happened. My reaction? Annoyed beyond belief. Too much. You know?
We had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship, and the only thing I wanted in breaking up was some space. I tried to give him the hint with the normal short, curt and borderline passive aggressive responses, but he just wasn't getting the message. Or maybe he just didn't want to. Either way, I was more than slightly irked.This past school year, the same ex texted or found a way to get a hold of me on several occasions. Again, the only emotion his consistency drew out of me was irritation. After a couple months of my unresponsiveness, and one semi-awkward lunch session, he finally took the hint and stopped bugging me. I do wonder, though, if he had given me my space and left me alone for a while, would I feel differently about him today? Would we be friends?How close (or distant) are you with your ex(es)?
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- From: stateofhart
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Comments (32)
I'm everything from best friends to aquaintances with my exes.
And I'm starting to think I should slowly distance myself from some as awful as that sounds.
I would like nothing better than to never see or hear from/about my ex ever again.
NO. Just no.
My ex is so the same way. Always trying to talk as if nothing ever happened. Even though he has (had? they may have broken up...) a girlfriend and i have a boyfriend. Needless to say, irritation is common. Especially since I'm home for the summer and have to see his lying, cheating, irritating face every Sunday and Wednesday. Bleck.
@ELIZerson@xanga - same here!
My ex has been blocked on Facebook since he went on a rant about how his new girlfriend was "the one" and listed off every quality she has that he couldn't find in me. It wasn't long after our break up, and he had known the girl for a week.
I've personally never had a relationship end positively in any way. There is a lot of resentment and bitterness between my most recent ex and me. And I dated him so long I haven't even talked to any previous exes in years. So basically, I keep as far distance as I can while still living in the same town as him.
I have two exes. For one of them, we said we would keep in touch, but after a year or so (while I was getting rid of lingering feelings) I figured that we have nothing in common so there was no point in keeping touch. Our relationship started soon after we met, so it's not like it was built on a strong friendship or anything. My most recent ex, however, I'm interested in keeping in touch with because we have mutual friends, and he's a cool guy overall. It's been a few months since we broke up so I've gotten all the space I needed. My relationships were rocky, but they weren't dysfunctional or abusive so I'm cool with both of my exes.
I haven't talked to or seen my ex in 8 years-the breakup was bad and she ended up telling me that she fell in love with me
Nope. He's a douche, so there's no reason to. He didn't care to keep talking to me, either, so we haven't heard from each other since. Last I heard he's out there somewhere trying to lose his virginity.
my ex is trying to stay like bff with me and it's not what i want... i feel like there are lingering feelings on both our parts. i loved him way too much to act like we can be friends now. all he wants to do i feel like is brag about other girls or get updates on my life... i need advice! what do i do?
None of my relationships with any of my exes were all that serious or anything |I only have 3 exes| and I keep in touch with all of them. We just chat online every once in a blue moon.
My ex is pretty mind-boggling. He always wants me to call him, or text him, or message him. But in the hallways, he never speaks a word to me. I try my best to be friends with him, but I think it's better if we're not. We're pretty distant.
He's long gone.
there is no communication at all.
No. my exes keep in contact with me. I don't bother them, but they bother me.
I kept in contact with my ex and he's not my ex anymore.
One of my exes has turned into the best friend I have ever had in my life.
No.
@hallentine@xanga - That is very interesting.
Im currently on vacation with two of my exes (and about 7 of my other close friends), We managed to salvage our friendships and even make them better than before we had our relationships, even though I was with both for around 3 years each. Although, another ex I can't stand and chose not to speak with, and the most recent won't stop irritating me and begging for another chance :/ Guess it just depends on how the relationship was when you were together and how/why it ended.
It just about killed me, but I'm good friends with my most recent ex. Things are fine. We're a little passive-aggressive toward each other sometimes, but other than that, completely normal.
I'm friendly acquaintances with the ex before that, who I was in a two and a half year relationship with. I did go eight months without talking to him but when I'll talk to him when I see him online and in public I'll greet him with a hug and have friendly conversation.
The rest I don't speak to.
I think I would find it really difficult to completely cut out people from my life that I was so close to. And clearly, it's not destroying me emotionally.
One of the the three that I've had. He was the only one who wasn't a COMPLETE DOUCHE to me (: It's still hard to maintain a friendship with him because I'm kinda jealous to see him talking to other girls :/ ehhh
Maybe you would have felt differently about him but there's no point in thinking about that now, and maybe one day once it's water under the bridge the two of you will be able to be friends again. I am friends with most of my ex's. Two of them are still my best friends. I think that it makes a difference when you are friends for a long time with the person and then begin to date (it almost feels as if you can't cut them out of your life because they are such a big part of it). I often tried to cut my a few ex's out of my life but because they were my best friends it was hard because every story I had contained some aspect of them and in the end I would just end up missing our friendship. Just because we didn't work out as a couple does not mean that we aren't compatible to be friends, and stupid things happen in relationships sometimes, but I think that just being friends fixes those stupid things because you are a different person in a way when you're just friends with someone. There are a few ex's that I do not talk to because of various reasons whether it be because they were verbally/physically abusive or they cheated, but I don't hold any anger or grudge towards them because it's a waste of energy. I see so many people hating their ex's and spending so much time thinking about them and complaining but if you really hated someone that much wouldn't you just want to cut every piece of them out of your life and ignore their existance? I don't understand people sometimes.
I only consistently talk to one of my exes as the others just fell out of contact or they refuse to talk to me...
But the one I do talk to, we decided we were better as friends anyway. :)The one ex I have? No, I do not keep in touch with him. He was really creepy. Thankfully he didn't try to even talk to me after I broke it off.