Friday, 28 May 2010

• I'm No Zac Efron, But Gorgeous Girls Find Me Attractive... Wanna Know Why?

  
  
  I think that most everyone has a "type," a generalized or specific definition of a person who they would consider attractive--however one may define that word.  One's type may be tall or short; blond or brunette; thin or curvy; intellectual or sporty; quirky or completely average. 
  
  These adjectives describe two fundamental facets of type preferences:  physical traits and non-physical traits.  The former is easily defined, because so many people base their romantic reactions on it.  Physical traits--do you prefer your significant other to be tall, dark, and handsome?  Should she have a certain color of hair or skin?  What do you find physically attractive about a person? 
  
  Studies in social psychology reveal that we prefer people whose features are symmetrical--simple as that.  I've already defined my ideal physical type, so to speak, but I've never dated a girl who even remotely resembled that description.  Oddly, all of my girlfriends have been brunettes.  I don't know why.  I don't particularly prefer brunette over another color, or abhor blond instead of brown.  That's just the way it worked out, I suppose. 
  
  I do know that all of my girlfriends were absolutely beautiful.  I don't say that out of bias.  They all were truly, exceptionally attractive--and I find that odd.  I don't find myself especially physically attractive, although maybe more so now than when I first dated a preacher's daughter thirteen years ago. 
  
  I'm no Zac Efron or Matthew McConaughey, so why did girls who were so gorgeous find me the least bit attractive?  Wasn't I out of their league?  Shouldn't girls of that caliber of beauty be with someone who matches their level of attractiveness?  Not so much, because there's a second dimension of types and attractiveness that comes into play here.
  
  Non-physical traits make up another obvious descriptor of a person.  Is he intelligent, funny, witty, or quiet?  Is she religious, truthful, quirky, or playful?  There are too many dimensions of a person's non-physical traits to discuss here.  I only briefly mention them because I think that they complicate the theory of "types," "leagues," and the like. 
  
  Far too often does the picture that Hollywood paints of romance lead people astray.  That erroneous picture, which depicts Perfect Jack and Perfect Jill living and loving happily ever after, informs us that pretty people should be with pretty people. 
  
  Fortunately for those of us who don't look like Matt Damon or Megan Fox, the picture is rarely so simply painted.  More goes into the evaluation of a potential mate--or should, anyway--than just an appraisal of his or her physical appearance.  Countless other details are assessed, preferences are weighed, compatibility is tested.  Thus, the possible number of the types of people who could be paired up is innumerable!
  
  And that brings me to the finale of this diatribe, where I now lay my cards on the table and ask, "Is it possible that the proverbial One even exists?" 
  
  Think of how utterly improbable such a thing may be--that you, one of nearly seven billion people on the planet, are destined to be paired up with another one of seven billion who is your perfect match.  Physical types matching.  Non-physical types matching.  Everything fitting perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle.  He's the One.  She's the One.  Is that really possible?
  
  I would like to think that there's one girl out there who's perfect for me, but sometimes it seems like more of a hopeful, improbable wish rather than a realistic fact.  I just don't know.  I only hope that I find the right one--or perhaps it's "a" right one--in due time.
   
  My parents, who have been married for over thirty years, believe it is.  The story goes that my mother entered a local grocery store at age fourteen, looking to meet a guy who worked there with her sister.  The moment that my mother saw my father--the moment she saw him--she said that she knew he would be her husband forever.  Stories like that are real, not fairy tales.  On the other hand, stories and endings unlike that are far more common. 
  
  So what does that mean?  Is there "One" out there for each of us or just some of us?  Is there a handful of people who we would be best suited with?  Is it all completely random?  I honestly don't know.
  

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